We Know Not What We Do, Trust Book 1
by koredaze
Summary: After killing Cain,Gina ends up in Galactica's brig. She must grapple with the past, present and Gunny Mathias to decide if she wants a future. Gina/Mathias, Athena, Bill Adama, Roslin, Cottle & just about everyone dead and alive. Femslash Gen
1. Part One: Killing Time :: Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Everything you recognize is owned by someone else. Everyone you don't was created to play with RDM and Eicks toys. Not sure how Pullo from Rome ended up in the sandbox, but he ain't mine either.

**Overall Rating: **Mature

**Warning**: Gina did experience rape and torture. **There are confrontations with a rapist**. Mature themes, Sex, Violence, Language. Nothing is explicit, but it all adds up.

**Author's note: **If your a returning reader, Yes I'm alive, sorry I suck for not updating. Long boring story best skipped. I've made some revisions. I'm doing a read through so the chapters will go up one at a time. Too many weird mistakes were in this chapter not to. Major additions will show up in Chapter 3. I love feed back. Tends to give me a boost that helps me focus on the work. Here's to being crisis free with plenty of free time. Cheers.

**WE KNOW NOT WHAT WE DO**

**Trust Book 1**

**Prologue Day Zero A.C.**

The humans called them toasters, great metal machines without a hint of humanity, never thinking they could be more. Humans were wrong. God's will had been made clear. Cylons had emulated human physiology - and surpassed it.

They came and the _Pegasus _shook with the fury of explosions. Helena recovered quicker than Gina had thought possible for a human. They got to CIC and it was apparent their quick response had been wasted. The world below them was lit by burning clouds erupting across every continent. The colonial vessels surrounding them were nothing but scraps of metal floating in space. Helena ordered a blind jump, then another and another. Each materialization was probable death. The first four revealed the same scene of destruction. After the fifth brought them to safety Helena met Gina's eyes.

Gina was in shock like everyone else, only the source was different. Double-edged pride filled her. The attack had destroyed the twelve colonies and most of its twenty billion inhabitants. Helena had saved the _Pegasus_. God's will was as divided as her own. The cylon infiltrator followed her mission and her desire. She gave the woman in command of the last mercury class battlestar a look of empathetic support before burying herself in the command computer's repair.

Indistinguishable from the humans around her, she helped identify the trojan horse in the CNP. By the end of the first day she had reinforced Helena's trust and admiration. She worked tirelessly to fix the ship along side it's crew; repairs which culminated in de-networking the computers, negating the Cylons greatest advantage. By the end of the week she was shackled, bruised and bleeding in the _Pegasus _brig. Her cover blown by a sister, her lover gave the order that would change her beyond recognition: pain, shame, degradation and humiliation.

**Part One: Killing Time **

**Chapter 1 Day 1019 A.C.**

Gina sat cross-legged in the middle of a pristine, primeval forest. Blue eyes reveled in the lush foliage as sunlight glinted against honey blond hair, so unlike that of most Sixes. A rare sense of contentment washed through her as the sun caressed her long willowy frame. Scars and reknit bone melted away in these woods. She was as she'd always wanted to be - naked in a forest. She breathed deeply, luxuriating in the scents of flowers, leaves and soil. She listened to the sounds of animals rustling in the underbrush. Soon a red-throated warbler would call out and a woodpecker would begin to hammer. A gust of wind blew cool air across her skin, tugging at her hair, though the trees didn't seem to notice. Probably the temperamental air conditioning in her frakking high-security cell on the _Galactica. _She chose to ignore it, but the illusion was ruined. Still, a ruined illusion was better than counting bolts.

Memories from different lives tried to surface. Despite never having resurrected she counted herself as having had four. She struggled to keep all but 'this life' at bay. It was the only one whose memories didn't cut with a razor's edge.

She had been just Six, filled with calm and absolute certainty surrounded by unchanging family. The differences between then and now were always painfully shocking. Her second life undercover had been thrilling and fulfilling, full of challenges and new experiences. If she let herself remember all that no longer was she would go insane. Her third life shattered the first two. It consisted solely of overwhelming agony. Her current life was shaped by bits and pieces of the other three: what she wished she could reclaim, what she wanted to let go of and what she couldn't get rid of. All she wanted from it was peace. It persistently eluded her.

She couldn't find her way back to the place where thoughts stopped and a tranquil projection continued. At least the invading morass of thoughts and images pertained to this life, though the subject of them never brought peace. Once she had gloated as the Eight, Sharon Agathon, rotted in a cell despite her choice to betray the Cylon race. Given the chance, Gina would have told the Eight she was an idiot to trust in the affection of humans. Secure in the knowledge of how unreliable and inconsistent Eights and humans were, Gina had decided she need do nothing but wait. Her errant sister's inevitable defection from the Colonial Fleet would get her out of the hopeless mess her existence had become.

The Eight's dimpled smile and dark wide set eyes were set in a cherubic face. They perfectly matched the model's tendency to be distracted by any new toy. Yet even after the loss of both husband and child, Sharon 'Athena' Agathon, had remained loyal to humanity. And they trusted her completely. Not only had she been she released from prison, she was made an officer. Humans took orders from her. Nothing had happened as Gina thought it would. Seeing the Eight's choices continue to yield a better outcome than her own disturbed her as much as the Eight's betrayal.

Gina's belly began to rumble loudly. Thoughts of the Eight weren't helping. Gina would never make sense of her. She buried herself in memories she could tolerate reliving, maybe she could make sense of herself...

Coming out of sleep and darkness, she felt warmth and softness. Something was missing...pain. Almost too comfortable to care, she tried to place herself without opening her eyes. She'd gotten caught in_ Pegasus's _hangar bay; yet she was in a bed with sheets and a pillow. Odd smells. The hushed voices, low and far away, were definitely not Cylon. She cracked open her eyes to blindingly bright lights and blinked away tears. An unfamiliar ceiling came into focus. Surrounded by a curtain, there were no chains, no locks, just soft cuffs tethered to the bed. Tubes ran below them into her hands. Incomprehensibly, she was alone.

Fragments of memory assaulted her: pain, torture, Thorne, Helena - Stop! Shuddering from non existent cold, she focused: muffled voices, softly clanging metal, the squeak of an ungreased wheel, and the low hum of life support systems. She breathed deeply (now that hurt) and prayed to be left alone. That hope was dashed by the sound of approaching footsteps and the rustle of the curtain around her bed.

Gina feigned unconsciousness, but flinched when fingers brushed her arm. She opened her eyes and met the startled stare of young woman in a medical military uniform. The woman backed up and calling for a doctor, vanished through the curtain. A soldier with an odd looking gun stared through a gap in the curtain, but didn't move. Gina tried to sit up; her stomach flipped as the room went out of focus. Pain spiked through her head. She collapsed, shaking and shivering, as sweat covered her body.

"I hope you gave her some ice before you bolted out of there." A white haired old man stepped in front of the soldier. "Get some damned ice!" he yelled back. Cup in hand he approached, "So, you're awake. It's about time."

He reached forward, water already dripping from his fingers. Gina's body stiffened and jerked away. He stopped, looked her in the eye and spoke firmly. "You are my patient. Behind this curtain, no one will harm you."

_He believes what he's saying. _ He brought the chips to her mouth and Gina relaxed in spite of herself. _God, the ice is good. _

"I'm Dr. Cottle. You are aboard the Battlestar _Galactica_. What is the last thing you remember?"

Not the _Pegasus. _Gina glared at the soldier through the gap in the curtain. "Killing the guard in _Pegasus_' brig." Her voice cracked, dampening the threat.

Cottle went on unfazed. "What happened after that?"

Gina faced the blank wall created by the curtain. "I can't remember."

Cottle peered at her and nodded. "Alright. Eight days ago you killed Admiral Cain. You were caught trying to escape from the ship. Apparently the crew decided you needed to suffer more for killing their glorious leader._ Galactica's _marines intervened before they agreed on how. You were brought to this ship, where you are going to stay. You are currently on full spectrum antibiotics and mild painkillers. You've gotten too many knocks to the head to get anything stronger. If you move around; you'll regret it. I also suggest not looking in the mirror for the next few weeks, but you're going to recover."

Cottle waited for a response that didn't come. Gina stared unmoving. He let out the restraint and moved the cup of ice closer. "Don't get the wrong idea. You're not shackled, but if you poke your head outside that curtain, marines will shoot you on the spot. Am I clear?"

Gina nodded, wincing at the pain.

"Good. Lunch in an hour." Cottle left.

Gina shut her eyes and remembered stepping out of her cell..

_She knew that she should leave the _Pegasus _quickly, but as soon as Baltar put the gun back in her hand and said 'justice' she thought of killing Helena. Everything Gina felt for her had died, buried in pain and the revolting smells of sweat, semen, alcohol, blood and excrement. Gina wanted to tell Helena that she was the embodiment of why humanity was being destroyed. That she had obliterated all doubt and regret from Gina's soul. But most of all she wanted to see her flinch. She got in and waited. Helena looked at the gun with resignation. Gina threw her words back at her. "Are you going to roll over and beg?" Resignation __became anger. "Frak you." Too much anger. Gina instinctively twisted the knife. "You're not my type." A sharp breath, tearing eyes, good enough. She pulled the trigger._

_Cold and smooth as a razor, she left her lover in a pool of blood. _

_She entered the hangar and saw Baltar fidgeting nervously. He jerked his head toward a cargo crate. She moved quickly. Her hands were on it when a man shouted and ran toward her waving a wrench._ _Then..._nothing_. _She really did forget.

Reflexively she touched her face and instantly regretted it. Wetness coated her fingers. Drawing them away she stared. Not blood. Tears.

**""""""""""**

The loud rumble in her belly pulled Gina from the past. Over the last weeks her rations had been shortened along with everyone else's. Starvation is the last way she expected this life to end. Shifting on her cot she willed herself back...

She finished her meal and reveled in her full stomach. Letting out a breath, she carefully crossed her legs. Relieved that the movement didn't cause more than a twinge of pain, she began to knead her bare feet. It wasn't much, but much more than she had been able to do for herself on the _Pegasus._

Other than Cottle and his medics, Baltar had been her only visitor. His eyes had shifted while his body twitched. He promised to help her if she helped him. One of the guards behind the curtain snickered. Baltar straightened, became more like before, but not quite. His eyes and the odd pitch that kept creeping into his voice gave him away. Concern laced with threats, assurance undermined by fear, he needed her silence. She doubted she could rely on him for anything now, not hat she wanted to. Her tormented soul remained trapped inside a broken body. If only he hadn't filed her with doubt about the best way off this ship. Another resurrection ship was on it's way. She didn't have much time. She stared mutely at the curtain until he left.

**""""""""""**

She didn't want to think, her thoughts were as dangerous as her memories. She concentrated on conversations, humans chatted incessantly. Her hearing was still off, sometimes too sensitive, sometimes muddled with echos, but she needed information. She had to get this right. She heard Dr. Cottle's distinctive voice. If he followed his routine she would be the last one he visited on his rounds. She wasn't.

"How'd she behave during the night?"

"The usual, lots of thrashing and muttering, woke up screaming, don't think she got back to sleep."

"To be expected," Cottle said.

Gina was sure he got a morning report from the medical staff, yet he always asked the marines. He was announcing his intent to enter, foolish but kind. The curtain rustled.

"Morning-"

"Morning-" Gina spoke to Cottle, ignoring the silent marine armed with the trank gun. The sedative might kill her or just part of her brain. She would wake shackled and more helpless than ever.

"How're you feeling?" Cottle asked.

"Good." Gina lied, yet didn't.

"Alright." Cottle looked at her bruises and checked her eyes with a pencil light. "Looks like you'll live. I'm going to give you a mild sedative - I need to do a full examination."

The sedative relaxed Gina. She tried to project a forest to quell her urge to evade his touch. It worked for a few minutes before uniformed men began to appear in the shadows of the trees...

Despite his feigned indifference, Cottle was perceptive and responsive. He backed off. "Just stay focused on me, sorry the view isn't better."

She watched his nonchalant dance around her uncontrollable reactions. Complete dedication was carefully hidden behind a chain of cigarettes and gruff remarks. He really didn't give a rat's ass what anybody thought of him. If Gina hadn't become fascinated by him she'd have stuck her head out of the curtain as soon as she could stand.

The exam completed, Cottle stepped back and looked Gina in the eye. "You're well enough to be transferred to the brig."

Gina's stomach cramped and her fingers dug into the mattress. Memories she fought so hard to block washed over her. Breathless, her body stiffened and paled.

"Gina." Cottle repeated himself until she became responsive. "I know what they did to you on the _Pegasus_. It was an abomination. Admiral Adama is not Cain. You will not be raped or tortured on this ship."

"Of course not." Gina spoke through clenched teeth.

Cottle didn't blink. "If you think I've worked so hard to get you well just to let you be tortured, you're not as smart as I thought you were. Our Cylon, Sharon, was attacked by Thorne. He was stopped by men from this ship. Sharon's husband, an officer from this ship, was murdered on the _Pegasus_, probably by the same men who tortured you. His death and the mistreatment of our crew chief infuriated everyone on this ship. And we are all revolted by what was done to you. Admiral Adama is committed to keeping you and Sharon safe. Cooperate with the transfer."

Gina stared at him wondering whether he had lost his mind or he just assumed she'd lost hers.

Cottle's eyes clouded. He began to speak in a voice she hadn't heard before. "I had a family back in the colonies. I have every reason to hate you and your people, but I will not allow you to suffer or be brutalized. Not now. Not ever."

Cottle departed abruptly. Gina stared after him until the curtain stilled. She returned to kneading her feet, unaware as the pressure from her own hands increased. She had to admit that she had been treated well. The medics were afraid of her, the other patients reviled her and the marines saw her as a threat that should be airlocked, but no one had physically harmed her. Dr. Cottle treated her like any other patient. He was sincere, but he wouldn't be with her in the cell. She needed to think. She needed a plan, but she couldn't focus after hearing the word 'brig'.

The sound behind the curtain changed. There was a general hush. The guards had fallen completely silent. The one in charge snapped out. "Sir."

A calm, authoritative voice responded, "Stay alert soldier, I'm here to see the prisoner"

"Yes, Sir."

A man with an aura of confident authority and strength stepped through the curtain. She recognized the admiral insignia. Adama's gaze bore into her and seemed to strip her bare.


	2. Part One: Killing Time :: Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Everything you recognize is owned by someone else. Everyone you don't was created to play with RDM and Eicks toys. Not sure how Pullo from Rome ended up in the sandbox, but he ain't mine either.

_Revised Chapter -_ nit picky stuff. Please review if you enjoy what your reading.

**Part One: Killing Time**

**Chapter 2**

Gunny Erin Mathias entered _Galactica_'s sickbay. Her coppery blonde hair was pulled back in its usual no nonsense pony tail. Sharp green eyes over high cheek bones and a hawk nose showed unrelenting focus. She was battle honed, but not completely hardened by bitterness. Two marines marched behind her carrying chains and shackles, ready to follow her orders religiously.

She wondered why her experience at a shelter for abused and runaway teens had been cited as the reason she was put in charge of transferring a Cylon prisoner. She stopped and looked for Cottle. Medics tended to patients. Most were civilians taking advantage of one of the few state of the art medical facilities left. Two marines stood alert by the curtained quarantine area, assault rifles across their chests. A third watched a monitor.

Cottle stepped out from behind a passel of civilians. "Gunny."

"Sir."

"I have instructions for the transfer." Cottle strode to the far corner where his office was housed. Once inside he sank heavily into his chair and nodded at the door. Mathias took the hint and closed it.

"The Cylon, Gina, has been in Pegasus' brig almost as long as we've been running. She was tortured, beaten, and raped - relentlessly. Marines participated in all of it. She'd been catatonic for months by the time they ran into us. Her first words helped us destroy her lifeline, the resurrection ship. That means she's suicidal as well as homicidal." Cottle nodded toward the guarded room. "If you march in there as usual, you'll be lucky if you're still around to answer to the Admiral. Threatening to shoot her won't work. It's a good sign that she hasn't tried to force us to kill her yet, but that will change the second she feels threatened. Establish eye contact- and I don't mean a glare- explain what you're doing and make sure she understands. If her eyes become spastic or unfocused get her attention. If she stops, don't prod or pull and whatever you do, don't make contact from behind. Be damned convincing that no harm will come to her and everyone might make it to her cell without having to be wheeled back in here."

Mathias listened to the doctor's directives with rising discomfort. "With all due respect, sir, are you ordering us to pamper a prisoner with a history of killing marines barehanded?"

"As CMO I am ordering you to do everything possible not to provoke or debilitate an intelligence resource we don't want to lose. Using strong sedatives so soon after the head trauma she's suffered is out. Moving her before she's completely recovered is our best option for keeping everyone safe. You're known for your control and professionalism, Mathias. Don't let her be the first to see you lose it. You have your orders."

"Yes, sir." She'd heard about the skin job from the _Pegasus_, but in war most rumors are exaggerated. Apparently these weren't.

"Oh and 'brig's' a word you want to avoid. Dismissed."

**"""""""""**

The gunny stood hesitantly in front of the curtain. She'd pulled aside the on-duty marines to brief them. None of them had ever been trained not to distress prisoners. At the center she'd volunteered as a mentor, not a counselor. She swallowed the pain of remembering the traumatized kids. All dead. Each relevant experience she tapped fueled anger, not compassion. Following orders was not going to be easy. She braced herself and drew the curtain back slowly.

**"""""""""**

The admiral had assured her that no one from the _Pegasus_ would come near her cell. That she would be treated humanely aboard his ship. It didn't help; she couldn't breathe. She tried to distract herself. It wasn't working. Her chest felt like an icy hand had reached in and started squeezing. Her heart struggled to beat. There was no escape from her memories. Gina registered unfamiliar movement behind the curtain. Her chest cramped.

She needed to make them kill her. She'd been thinking about it, but it had felt so good to be in a bed. Her time was up. They'd expect her to fight them here. It would be messy; too many ways to disable her and too many people they didn't want to shoot.

She imagined a bullet shattering her skull. This would be true suicide committed only to escape life, the gravest of sins. And she had made it possible by telling Baltar to destroy the resurrection ship. Too many sins, God would not welcome her soul to the stream. She should let them take her out of life stations and wait for the inevitable assault. Human marines did not treat Cylons humanely. God could forgive death resulting from self-defense.

As the curtain moved Gina braced herself. For a moment she was baffled by the marine standing before her. She'd forgotten they could be female.

Bloodshot blackened eyes over swollen lips, split and sutured, Gina added all her hatred to the mix to create a truly a frightening picture.

The woman didn't react. Her voice came out steady and assured. "We're here to transfer you. We've been ordered to keep you safe. I have to restrain you, but we will not harm you."

Gina peered into her eyes. Was she naïve? No. This one was experienced, the others, not so much. Fully geared for combat, shackles ready, they could stop her from killing, not dying. She had far more experience than any of them. Gina's eyes darted back and forth and her body coiled.

"Don't try anything stupid," the woman warned. The others reacted instantly, five assault weapons were cocked, aimed and ready to fire.

Staring at the marine backed rifles, Gina felt her limbs go weak. Blood throbbed in her head as air gushed from her lungs. She fell back against the cot. Doubled over, trying to catch her breath, she was barely able to hear the female marine. When she looked up four of the rifles had been lowered.

The marine spoke. Gina pieced the words together from the fragments that made it through the pounding in her ears. "I want this to be as smooth and painless as possible. Once you are in your cell, you will be left alone," The woman's hands were open. Her tone had lost its edge. "We have explicit orders to ensure your safety."

It didn't matter if the marine told the truth, Gina couldn't attack now if she wanted to. She had lost control of her body, her mind was blank. She felt so weak. Even her eyes felt heavy.

The woman reached for a set of cuffs. "Gina, can you hear me? Can you stand up?"

Gina pulled herself together enough to nod.

"I'm going to restrain you." The woman dipped her head slightly and lifted manacles, "Do you understand?"

Gina nodded. _What were they waiting for? _

"Stand up and hold out your arms in front of you."

_Her._ They were waiting for her.

Gina flinched with every touch of metal against skin. She told herself to stick to her plan. The gunny's calm assurance helped. There was no detectable malice in her body or voice. Gina tried to draw the calm from the marine's eyes into herself.

**"""""""""**

"Good, no sudden moves." Mathias wasn't sure if she was speaking to the Cylon or herself. She had almost flinched at the first sight of her. The look in the her eyes made it clear how easily this could end in disaster. Just as she thought she was going to blow her orders to Hades right along with the prisoner, the woman all but collapsed.

Mathias was shocked. She hadn't expected the cylon to appear so vulnerable. She doubted it could be an act. She tapped the unexpected compassion and used it to make a connection, just like she had with angry, frightened teenagers. She was sure the Cylon was no less likely to try to use it against her than the kids.

They got out of lifestations with unexpected ease. Once in the hallway Gina slowed and looked expectant. Mathias wondered if they were about to run into the unknown Cylons.

At a hatchway Gina stumbled, unable to stop her own fall. Mathias reached out to steady her while signaling the rear guard to look behind. Gina jumped like a cat dowsed by water. The marines gripping the poles barely held on.

"Stand down and stay back," Mathias ordered. Reaching out had been a mistake. Thankful her neck was still in one piece despite her stupidity, she spoke gently. "You're okay. Take your time." _Gods, she's terrified._

**"""""""""**

Gina had waited for the first hit, the first threat or even the first insult, but it never came. She hated herself and the marine with the confident, concerned eyes. She felt duped and cheated. What she didn't feel was relief. Why did she wait?

The marines had left quickly, closing the door with a loud thud. Gina was behind bars and bulletproof glass, the last place she wanted to be.

She cataloged the cell's contents with darting eyes: a small table, a chair, a cot, but no moorings for chains. She peered at the bed. They could be beneath it. The sedative they had given her was wearing off. Sharp pains coursed through her body. She considered lying down, but moved to the table instead. When was the last time she sat in a chair? The pain eased slightly only to be replaced by fear creeping through her body, growing like vines that strangle trees. A cold sweat enveloped her while she sat and tried not to shake.

**"""""""""**

A larger than average marine griped, "What's all this fuss about?"

"What fuss are you referring to, Private?" Mathias asked evenly.

He gestured crudely in the direction of the cell. "Getting all comfy and cozy with the skin job."

Mathias spoke over the snickering of her unit. "We have our orders, no assault, no threats."

"We should've of just hit that thing over its head and dragged it." The private folded his arms over his chest. Others grunted in agreement.

Mathias looked over all five bristling marines. She stepped toe to toe with the hulking agitator and spoke in a menacingly low voice, "Is following orders going to be a problem for you, Private?"

The man swallowed. "No, gunny."

"Good. Form up," Mathias barked. "Someone else want to bitch about how things get handled?" She stared each of them down. No one responded. "The orders are clear. If you frak this up I will kick your ass, the XO will kick your ass and in the end you will have a nice chat with the Old Man, understood?"

"Yes, sir," they barked in unison.

**"""""""""**

The door flew open startling Gina. She jumped back from the chair and pressed herself against the far wall. Two marines entered the cell. One was pointing an assault rifle at her. White knuckled, she felt acid rise to up the back of her throat. The other put a tray on the table. They left. Gina stared at the closed door, trying to convince herself it was safe to move. She looked at the tray. Lunch. She walked over and sniffed the liquid. Water. She drank to clear the taste of bile. Sitting back down she picked up the spoon, her only utensil...

The memory of her first meal in the cell didn't quell her hunger. It made her wonder how soon her final one would be brought in.


	3. Part One: Killing Time :: Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Everything you recognize is owned by someone else. Everyone you don't was created to play with RDM and Eicks toys. Not sure how Pullo from Rome ended up in the sandbox, but he ain't mine either.

**Warning: **Gina did experience rape and torture.** There are confrontations with a rapist. **Mature themes, Sex, Violence, Language. Nothing is explicit, but it all adds up.

**A/N: Revised Chapter - **There is an added scene in this chapter. So you may want to reread this one. Again sorry for the wait. Hope to get the completed story up soon.

**Part One: Killing Time **

**Chapter 3 **

Gina fought hunger as she fought almost everything that threatened her sanity in the brig. Avoidance. Fearing the memories associated with starvation would take form in a projection, she returned her consciousness to the relatively less traumatic past_._...

Gina expected her interrogation to be brutal, but it remained nonviolent. She contemplated giving false information, but it seemed pointless. The Cylon fleet was certainly following the human one, staying back until another resurrection ship was in range. When they struck, it would be over. At the thought of resurrecting, a chill rose up her spin.

"

**"""""**

"

The Eight was pregnant. She couldn't care less but her people would. They wouldn't destroy the _Galactica_. Trying to escape could get her nowhere, but another colonial vessel.. Contacting other cylons could expose them. Would they turn her in to protect themselves? Dangerous thoughts.

She had no worth while intelligence, could do no real damage. The humans had questions. She could talk with little risk of revealing anything of importance. She didn't know her people's latest plans. Sometimes she felt she knew more about human than Cylon technology after being undercover for so long. She could talk and reveal little of importance. She could even hold back a few bargaining chips, like Baltar's involvement in her escape. Buy time and wait, the Eight would cut and run. That would provide opportunity, one way or another.

"

**"""''"**

"

Gaius had started to come to her cell. Gina wondered how he had managed to weather the storm of suspicion surrounding her escape. Then again, he was no longer the confident man of the past, so maybe he hadn't. She was indebted to him for the help he gave, but felt a rising level of disgust with each visit. How had she not seen his incessant little lies and evasions before? She wondered what he wanted more, to frak her or keep her silent. His thinly veiled lust made her feel more uncomfortable than powerful. There was a time when she would have used it, but she had no desire to play seductress now. When she acknowledged it, it scared her how much she had changed in the _Pegasus _brig.

"

**""""""""""**

"

Mathias left Ditko in charge of the unit and headed back to the brig alone. She picked up what passed for a meal and hoped no one realized that she was taking it to a cylon as the fleet ran out of food. Adama had ordered her to keep feeding Gina on the day Athena had taken off in a raptor. Truthfully she would have kept feeding her even if only a bite from her own rations. She grabbed the tray, thinking back to when she had started to take Gina her meals...

_Mathias had orders to record Baltar's visits to Gina without him knowing. Unfortunately the Bucket was still a better gossip mill than a temple sewing circle. That meant not letting the unit in on the plan. Mathias had few qualms about the Old Man's apparent attempt to catch the vice president with his pants down. She just __hoped she was spared the literal view. _

_Baltar reminded Mathias of her wife's brother. Incredibly charming when he wanted something and unbelievably callous when he didn't. Usually what both men wanted was to nail every woman that crossed their paths. From the look of things, Gina's past wasn't a deterrent. If anything, Baltar seemed to be more turned on by a gang raped cylon spy than any human. It made Mathias wary as Hera. _

_Adama had warned her that cylons were masters of manipulation, but whatever walls Gina had as an infiltrator were gone. Every emotion was broadcast for all to see. The predominant one's were anger and fear. Except when Baltar showed up, then she either looked sad and desperate or cold and calculating - sometimes both. After he left the whole unit braced themselves, never sure what torrent of emotion the visit would unleash. Fortunately he hadn't been by since Laura Roslin had become a far too frequent visitor to lifestations._

_There was obviously a plan B with regards to Gina. Mathias had been ordered to bring all of her meals and everything else she needed. She wasn't to interrogate her, but the usual orders regarding interacting with prisoners did not apply. Adama wanted her to listen to anything Gina had to say and talk to her whenever she was willing to listen. _

_Mathias wasn't sure what to say to a cylon spy so she'd kept to small talk. She found her oxymoronic orders for cautious closeness to a prisoner less difficult to follow than anticipated. It was easy to respond to Gina as a victim and impossible to forget she was a cylon. She even preferred being called by a number instead of a name. _

_"_

**"""""**

_"_

_Mathias hit the rack just as Adama asked everyone to pray for President Roslin. She was exhausted. Gina had physically recovered from her injuries and apparently decided to celebrate by making everyone regret __keeping her alive. She felt that she had just shut her eyes when Hansen woke her. Baltar had shown up to visit Gina unexpectedly. Mathias had never thought letting someone apparently incapable of 'keeping it in his pants' in with a woman who'd been raped was the best idea. She saw Baltar cup Gina's cheek and braced for the shit to hit the fan. She tried get to the controls for the recorder but didn't make before Baltar did the unthinkable. He kissed Gina - forcefully. _

_Gina shoved him across the room. Mathias got the cell door open in time yank him the rest of the way out. She put her gun in Baltar's face thinking they should have left him locked in there. Gina could have made mince meat out of them. Better Baltar than any of her marines. _

_"Wh... what do you think your doing? Unhand me." Baltar protested having yet to notice the gun in the preoccupation of searching his pockets. _

_Mathias considered using the search as an excuse to shoot him. "I am banning you from the brig for molesting a prisoner." She saw blood and wasn't sure if she was happy Gina'd bit him or disappointed she hadn't broken his neck._

_"I tripped. This is complete over reaction." Baltar huffed as he put a hanky to his split lip. _

_Mathias wanted to smack him, preferably with her gun. Then he froze, staring at a spot of blood as if nothing else existed. He bolted from the brig before Mathias could get out the order to drag him. _

_Mathias turned to Gina. She was alternating between pacing frantically and sudden stillness. Finally she froze facing the door and Mathias mouthed, "Are you okay," through the glass._

_Gina nodded and hugged herself. She didn't look okay. She was pale and shaky as she sank to the cot. _

_Adama had told Mathias that if Gina lashed out at Baltar he wanted Mathias to step in as her new __defender. She gave Gina a few minutes before she picked up the cell's phone and tapped like she did at meal times._

_"_

**"""""""""""**

"

Mathias was late. Gina hadn't wanted to see the gunny this desperately since the exodus from New Caprica. Hunger made her feel weak and could help her forget herself. If she could just stay in the past a little longer, Mathias wouldn't let her down; not like everyone else had...

Gina was shaken, not by Baltar's actions so much as her own reaction. She'd seen the kiss coming and froze. She felt repulsed. Sixes were seductresses and warriors; she was still neither. She paced the cell, she couldn't sit, couldn't stop. The motion of her body felt oddly distant. Only the touch of her own hands made her feel connected to it. She heard a familiar tapping. She stopped pacing and turned. She tried to ignore everything but the marine. She moved closer to focus on the face above the uniform. Gina leaned against the partition. It felt good; cool and defined. She grabbed the phone. It was surprisingly solid in her hand.

Mathias' distorted voice came through the primitive analogue devise. "Don't worry. He won't be back."

"Are you planning on shooting the next President of the Colonies?" Gina asked.

"Adama sent Vipers against Cain. I don't think shooting Baltar will be a too big of a problem."

_"Galactica _tried to fight the_ Pegasus?" _Gina almost laughed at the absurdity.

"Cain arrested Helo and the Chief; sentenced them to death for killing Thorne. We stood down because Starbuck came back with recon photos of the resurrection ship." Mathias peered at Gina, looking for something she didn't find, then continued, slowly. "Cain wouldn't talk to the President. Between what she was doing to us and what she'd done to the other fleet, it's amazing your the one who ended up shooting her."

Gina knew her mouth hung open. She thought back as far as she dared. "Cain talked to Baltar. She showed him respect."

"I'm sure she got along with Cylon interrogator Baltar. Vice-President Baltar was probably pissing his pants, scared he could kiss all of his political power and privilege goodbye."

Gina tried to calm her breathing. She knew that Baltar hid things from her. He'd have be an idiot not to. But not telling her this made no sense. Common ground. He was too smart not to use that. Baltar handing her the gun,"You need justice," began to play like a loop. Her focus narrowed and shut down.

Opening her eyes, she heard quick and slow tapping. Confused, she looked up from the floor. Her phone smacked against the glass as it swung. Mathias pounded her against the barrier, as she mouthed words through the plexiglass. Vaguely matching sounds came though the swinging handset. Gina reached for out to stop it and pulled herself upright.

"Gina, are you alright? " Mathias pressed her palm against the glass.

Gina looked back and forth between Mathias' face and hand before placing hers to meet it.

Mathias stated the obvious. "You collapsed."

Gina responded in kind, explaining nothing. "I have bad memories, they bother me from time to time."

"So ending up on the floor looking whiter than a sheet is normal for you."

Gina looked at her cot, grateful for the excuse to look away from the concern in Mathias' eyes. "They're supposed to be white?"

"That's demotion white. Courtesy of the last person bucked back to private." After Gina offered a thin smile, Mathias shifted her footing. "Gina? Do you want to lodge an official complaint against Baltar? Make a statement about anything he's done, past or present?"

Gina stalled for time. She needed to think. "You don't think they spoke for themselves?"

Mathias laughed. "He did make me wish I could shackle your visitors."

The shock of hearing Mathias laugh broke Gina's panic. She stared at the gunny's transformed face and collected herself. "He wouldn't hurt me, not...He's been helpful." She'd been used. She wasn't going to do anything to lessen her chance of getting her hands around Gaius' throat.

"You wouldn't be trying to talk me into letting him come back so you can kill him?" Mathias asked lightly, looking at Gina's clenched fists.

"I don't want to kill him." Gina protested too quickly. Mathias' eyebrows rose. Gina smirked, "I just want to smack him out of his self absorption."

Mathias smiled. "I think you'd have to kill him for that."

Gina laughed in spite of herself...

Yes, Mathias had been there for her when no one else had. Gina never told her about Gaius. And it was the only thing Mathias had asked her to reveal. Their friendship was real, not just a trick to get her to talk. Gina's gut clenched. She needed to kill more time...

_Interrogations stopped when the fleet did. The Cylons had disappeared, apparently after a notice of truce from a One. He seemed only to have convinced them that there was no point in talking to a Cylon. Yet the Eight was once again gaining their trust. She even visited the admiral in his quarters. Gina felt like a worn out shirt and expected to be thrown away; not that was the worst thing that could happen._

_Nightmares filled with faces old and new, ruled her nights and permeated her days. A 'good' dream was looking at Mathias while the vacuum took her to true death. She refused to examine why she dreaded resurrection more. The worst dreams were when she couldn't die no matter what. _

_Oddly, amidst all the night terrors revolving around death, she found that she did want to live. Everyone had steadfastly refused to kill her when she had desperately needed to die. To have them do it now would feel like defeat. Of course there was another reason she stayed alive, but she refused let herself think about it._

_Though it disturbed her, she'd come to rely on Mathias as an anchor when she felt herself flying apart at the seams. She knew what they were doing. Nothing was more obvious that a characteristically taciturn marine trying to make small talk. And having her bring every meal really was overkill. But it really didn't explain that first risk Mathias took, when Gina had awoken overwhelmed by memories and fears. Mathias had promised to protect her and Gina found that she could believe Mathias would._

_Mathias began speaking of her family without the bitterness that accompanied the revelation of others. Not that she rambled or waxed poetic. Just simple anecdotes that kept Gina distracted and made her laugh. It took more effort for Gina to reign in her own anger. Fortunately Mathias treated her with respect no matter what came out of her mouth._

_When Mathias began to enter without the other guards, Gina had wanted to warn her not to. Instead she found herself trying to keep her there. Nothing made her feel more like she was still a Six than drawing out a slow smile or watching Mathias blush. _

_Eventually instead of lashing out over nothing, Gina began to speak of what she couldn't bear to think about when she was alone. Mathias listened to the details of her torture without flinching, never trying to defend or excuse the actions of other humans. _

The sound of the cell door opening brought Gina out of her reverie. She had been in prison on the _Galactica _so long that the confinement felt almost comfortable. Boredom was the biggest irritant. She assuaged it any way she could, usually to the detriment of the marines guarding her. Her growing hunger wasn't helping, though considering the food shortage she felt lucky she was being fed at all. Sustenance arrived and the woman who brought it made her smile despite everything. Shecraved the conversation more than the food."Good morning, Gunny."

"Morning." The Gunny grinned slowly. "How was your night?"

"Good. Apparently reduced meals make me dream of nicer nasty things. Where is everyone; have all of you gone on leave until you find a planet full of food?"

"Unfortunately hunger makes most people meaner. At breakfast everyone else is scarier than you. We're busy trying to make them play nice."

"Is it working?" Gina asked.

"About as well as it worked on you." Mathias said

"That's not good," Gina moved as close to Mathias as she dared and peered at the meager offerings on the plate. "Any resolution in sight?"

"Possibly." Mathias said.

"You found a planet? How far away?" Gina held her breath.

"Well, we know where one is, we just don't know if we can get to it in one piece," Mathias dolefully informed her.

Gina stopped herself from reaching out to comfort the marine. "How long will the reserves last?"

"We'll get something to eat tomorrow." Mathias spoke with ominous finality.

The women locked eyes. Conflicts wasted away and unacknowledged desires began to fill the space between them. A rumble from Mathias' belly broke the moment.

Gina put her hands to her hips. "Why is the guard still hungry when the prisoner is being fed?"

"Everyone's hungry." A blush blossomed across Mathias' face .

Gina scrutinized the gunny tilting her whole upper body to the side. "And?"

Mathias shrugged. "We gave part of our rations to some kids we found."

Gina raised her brow. "The ones that are scarier than me?"

"No, that's their parents. And I've got to go back and deal with them, I just wanted to bring your meal."

"

**""""""""""**

"

Mathias began to retreat uneasily; spending time with Gina had become a staple of her life. Now it was an unaffordable luxury. But her hunger for food wasn't the only one making her weak.

"Gunny!" Gina called out.

Mathias froze. "What's wrong?"

Gina looked shocked. She took a deep breath and pointed at her plate. "This is enough for two."

Obviously, it was not. Mathias remembered when she wouldn't have dared to get within an arms length of Gina. Sharing a meal with a prisoner was beyond the pale, but everything involving Gina was. Seeing guarded hope, she couldn't resist. Famine would not distinguish between guard and prisoner; both needed all the comfort they could get.

Having only one chair at the table, Gina moved to the cot, beckoning Mathias with the plate. She tucked a leg under while Mathias sat opposite with both feet planted. The dish between them forced an unwanted distance. Awkward body mechanics led to light laughter. Fingers brushed in a mock battle for crumbs. Each engagement lingered longer though neither was trying to win.

Mathias found herself mesmerized by the seemingly carefree Gina. Blue-grey eyes met hers and the laughter stopped. The battlefield became heated. Mathias felt the desire to advance. A memory tugged and she retreated into it.

_Wanting to remain awake through the nightshift, Mathias sat playing triad with Harder and Fischer. She would have liked to avoid conversation, but her subordinates wouldn't stop talking._

_"So, Omar," Harder spoke as she dealt a new hand. "What's with you and that girl from maintenance?"_

_"Sheryl," Fischer replied with big grin._

_"Sheryl, huh?" Harder nudged Fischer with her booted foot. "She's cute."_

_Mathias snorted._

_Omar Fischer took his cards, studying them intensely before looking at Harder. "The boss is just annoyed I got my hands on Sheryl before she could."_

_Harder froze. Mathias barely spoke aside from giving orders. Though she and Omar went pretty far back, Harder wasn't sure how she would react to being the subject of conversation._

_Mathias rearranged the cards in her hand. "I think you just volunteered for some..." frowning, she looked up. "Did you hear that?"_

_Harder shook her head no, but Fischer nodded a yes, "Think it's the skin job?"_

_"Yeah." Mathias dropped her cards and approached the only occupied cell. The prisoner was cowering in the far corner of the room. Arms around her head, rocking furiously, it was the first time they'd seen her not react to outside movement. The three marines watched as she trembled violently and gasped for air between animalistic cries. _

_"Damn," Fischer spoke in shock. "What the-"_

_"Are we supposed to do something?" Harder asked, tightening the grip on her rifle._

_Gina quieted. Mathias experienced a moment of relief until Gina began to bang her head against the wall. Each hit grew in strength._ Frak, Mathias thought as slipped off her gun harness. _"I'm going in; Fischer stay __back, Harder get Cottle."_

_"We have standing orders not—" Harder started.._

_"I know our orders," Mathias snapped. "Go!" She shoved her rifle into Fischer's arms._

_"You sure you know what you're doing?" Fischer asked quietly._

_"No." Opening the cell door she entered slowly and squatted down just left of the door. "Hey Gina!" No reaction. "Gina." What did she call herself? "Six." That got a response. "Six, it's Mathias. Six. Look at me."_

_The Cylon began to respond through the haze of memories she was trapped inside of. Red-rimmed eyes blinked and streaks of tears ran rapidly down her cheeks. Mathias got the impression of a frightened child. _

_"Dogs," Mathias said._

_Gina blinked once more and focused. Her head titled and as her expression revealed her confusion, she looked even more innocent._

_"I'm afraid of dogs," Mathias explained. "When I was five, a neighbor's dog jumped over the fence. It was bigger than me, all teeth and growling. I tried to run and it frakking came after me. Bit my arm and my leg good before my Dad could kick it off. After that I had nightmares of dogs and monsters, chasing and biting me almost every night." Her hand brushed over her forehead as if to push back hair, which was as always, already secure. The slow and deliberate motion was the closest she got to a nervous gesture. "Eventually the dreams went away. Or at least they did until the attack on the colonies."_

_Gina's breathing slowed and deepened. Her eyes glanced around the cell like a kitten, enthralled by something no one else could see. Mathias continued, "Now when I dream of centurions they all start sprouting fur and big long snouts."_

_Gina's lip curled for a second. _

_"Somehow I manage to give them teeth too." _

_The women locked eyes. Gina spoke, "When I dream of monsters chasing me they have uniforms, like yours."_

_"I'm sorry I can't chase away your nightmares, but I can and will protect that door. No one wanting to harm you will get through it. No matter what they're wearing." She hoped she wasn't lying._

"Gunny!" The voice of the admiral reverberated through the cell.

Mathias bolted upright. "Sir!"


	4. Pt 2: Killing the Undercarriage: ch 4

**Disclaimer:** Everything you recognize is owned by someone else. Everyone you don't was created to play with RDM and Eicks toys. Not sure how Pullo from Rome ended up in the sandbox, but he ain't mine either.

**Warning**: Gina did experience rape and torture. **There are confrontations with a rapist**. Mature themes, Sex, Violence, Language. Nothing is explicit, but it all adds up.

**"**

**Part Two: Killing the Undercarriage **

'

**Chapter 4**

'

"Stand alert," Adama ordered. Finding a lone guard sharing a meal with her charge was unacceptable. He would talk to the gunny later. Now he needed to talk to the prisoner.

Gina rose carefully. The admiral had never entered her cell before. His sudden appearance couldn't mean anything good. She resisted the urge to fidget. She was a Six, damn it. He wouldn't try to throw her out of an airlock without a few more marines, but he could simply shoot her. Death wasn't her worst fear. She was annoyed at the timing. How stupid to feed her before killing her.

Adama looked her in the eye. "I need your help."

Dumbstruck, Gina could only blink.

"You're aware of the problem with our food reserves?" Adama asked.

"Problem?" Gina almost laughed. "I'd like to know what you'd call a catastrophe."

Adama's gaze became a hard glare. "Guess."

_Genocide_. Gina turned pale. "What do you want from me?"

"The star cluster in front of us emits radiation deadly to humans after limited exposure. Athena confirmed a food source on the other side. She barely made it back. A human would have died."

Gina nodded, thinking she was about to become a radiation experiment.

Adama continued. "We need to take the fleet through. Civilian ships aren't hardened against radiation like military vessels. Their navigation systems will fail, but raptors can guide them through the jump sequences."

"Sounds like a plan," Gina said.

"I'll have to rotate pilots after tours and keep a CAP flying on either side. If I had a dozen Cylon pilots there'd be no problem, but I only have Athena and I can't send her in again. Then there is you."

Gina listened with growing astonishment.

"Preparing the fleet will take days. We can use that time to give you training to go with your data files. Your participation would set pilots free pilots- and probably save their lives."

Gina's heart pounded. "You want me to fly a Raptor?"

"Yes," Adama said.

Possibilities flashed through her mind, instantly forming into plans. "Fine. Show me to the hangar deck." Gina waved her hand towards the door.

Adama didn't move. "Are you an idiot?"

"What?" Gina gaped at the insult.

"You want to make a run for it."

Gina glared.

Adama met her look with equal force. "Your people may be trying to find us, but I don't know where they are and neither do you. The galaxy is far too big for you to find them. You'll run out of fuel and die of starvation, frozen in the middle of nowhere, if you try."

She had to admit he was right. The Cylon fleet could be anywhere around the _Galactica_'s elliptic: forward, back, up, down, left or right, all from an arbitrary orientation. The superiority of the Cylon FTL drives would work against her by increasing the distance variables. And she had no idea where the resurrection ships were.

Cooperating would mean being let out the brig, if only for a few days. She had been in confinement for years. Projections weren't enough to stop the sensation of her sanity slowly eroding away. Doing something to save herself would be so much better. She just needed to convince herself that helping to save the colonial fleet wasn't idiotic.

She had never hated humans before she ended up in the _Pegasus_ brig. Mankind had committed endless atrocities and rejected the one true God. They were a danger to themselves and the Cylons. A mistake in need of correction. Nothing more, nothing less.

Then she went undercover and found humans were both more and less than she expected. It was hard to fake mercurial emotions stemming from depths of feeling when all she had were calculated convictions. Her emotional response increased over time, but didn't come close to matching the unreasoned passions that drove human lives. She was superior. Then she met Helena and her cold clarity disappeared. She could justify all her decisions, if only they hadn't led her here. Somatically she sat on the cot as a memory she had religiously avoided came unbidden.

_The Cylon fleet was going to attack. She should be getting the navigation system online, but this was her last chance to be with Helena. It was also the first time the admiral had taken official time off since they'd become lovers. Gina found herself outside Helena's door requesting admittance. _

_Helena, engrossed in paperwork, barely glanced up as Gina approached. "Aren't you supposed to be working on my ship's computer?" Flushed cheeks betrayed apparent indifference. _

_Gina stroked the desk as she moved to Helena's side. "Aren't you supposed to be on leave?" _

_"I'm not wearing my jacket, therefore I'm on leave. You're not." Helena spoke sternly. _

_Anyone else would have been intimidated. Gina raised her eyebrows and smiled enigmatically. Caressing the table beside Helena's hand, she brought her lips to within an inch of Helena's ear. "I'll work, if you stop."_

_Helena valiantly fought temptation. "Getting my nav system online is important. I can't tolerate my ship not being able to jump."_

_"You can still jump." Gina placed a hand on Helena's chest ostensibly to facilitate kneading an ever present sore spot in Helena's shoulder. "You just won't have any idea where you're going." _

_Helena spoke through a moan. "Actually I'd know where we were going, I just wouldn't know what celestial body we'd end up inside of."_

_Gina slowed her ministrations and whispered. "We could practice jumping in and out of heavenly bodies." She placed a hand over Helena's eyes. "We could even do it blindly." _

_Helena chuckled andGina reached to pull her tanks from their mooring. Gina let a hand brush the underside of Helena's breast. The other raked back hair. Teeth claimed Helena's ear and a tongue stroked captured flesh._

_She spun with a growl. Gina laughed as she was lifted off the ground and flung over Helena's shoulder. Helena deposited her on top of the paperwork. "I committed myself to going through every item on this desk." Helena pulled the front of Gina's shirt over her head, then pushed it and Gina's jacket, part way down her arms. "Don't even think of trying to stop me."_

_Gina smiled triumphantly and focused on how to get Helena's tanks off without using her arms. She had much better things to do than get a sabotaged nav system online. It would take God's will for them to survive without any navigation... _

One memory led to a deluge. When Gina, at last, came back to the present, Admiral Adama was seated . Mathias looked like she was fighting the urge to rush to Gina's side.

Gina dropped her eyes, not quite able to let go of the past. "I wasn't ordered to seduce her," she spoke in a whisper. "She was the least likely person to give a civilian access to anything. Anyone in CIC would have been better. I just wanted her. After the attacks she told me she'd argued with every admiral and politician to break the armistice with an all out assault. She wanted to annihilate us. I got the codes from someone else and set up the ambush the next day. Everyone was happy with me. Helena and my people were thrilled to be able to fight each other. I had termination orders. I knew how she felt, but I waited." Gina coughed a mirthless laugh, "I didn't want to kill her." She lapsed back into silence and continued struggling with her demons.

Adama looked away, giving her at least a semblance of privacy. "That's what makes us different from machines."

It took Gina a moment to realize the significance his words. She gaped at him then looked. It was too much, being able to touch Mathias, memories of Helena before the attacks, and this- the admiral sitting in her cell, claiming a semblance of kinship with her. Gina peered into his eyes, but found them impenetrable. "Why are you offering me this?"

"To let you make your choice," Adama said.

Gina almost laughed, but it stuck in her throat. "To side with you against my people?"

Adama held her gaze. "To side with us to survive and be given more choices."

"Not much of one now. With all the interference from the star cluster, I'd probably have to die inside a resurrection ship to download." Gina broke eye contact to look at the bars of her cell. "So much for choice."

Adama's voice gentled without losing it's authority. "You chose to help my Gunny stay alive. Everyday you choose not to attack my marines. You've chosen not to kill or be killed many times."

Gina scoffed. "What do I get to choose next, a berth on _Cloud Nine_ surrounded by people who want to _kill_ me?"

"None of us can make the choices we once could. We're all confined within these ships, with unexpected lives and limited options," Adama paused until Gina looked at him. "You can choose to help us all and change the life you have here."

"And if I say 'No'?" Gina asked.

Adama put up his hands. "Then I go and that's it."

Gina leaned away from him. "No threats?"

Adama shifted back as well. "Just the same long wait between meals with nothing to do while you're waiting."

Gina looked for signs of desperation, but saw none. "And if I say 'Yes'?"

Adama rested his hands on his knees. "Don't expect to be released from custody immediately. But we can talk about privileges."

Gina tried not to react to the word 'released'. It was like a carrot being dangled in front of her. "What about curtains? I heard the Eight got some."

Adama upped the ante. "Maybe even a couch."

Gina glanced at Mathias. "And a promise that you won't throw the Gunny out of an airlock."

Adama's eyes and mouth crinkled upward, belying his stern tone. "I wouldn't go that far."

Gina dug her nails into her leg. This was real. "There's just one problem left. I've never actually flown a raptor."

Adama stood. "Come with me."


	5. Pt 2: Killing the Undercarriage: ch 5

**Disclaimer:** Everything you recognize is owned by someone else. Everyone you don't was created to play with RDM and Eicks toys. Not sure how Pullo from Rome ended up in the sandbox, but he ain't mine either.

'

**Warning**: Gina did experience rape and torture. **There are confrontations with a rapist**. Mature themes, Sex, Violence, Language. Nothing is explicit, but it all adds up.

'

**Part Two: Killing the Undercarriage**

**'**

**Chapter 5**

'

Still reeling from the changes to her circumstance, Gina scrambled to follow Adama.

"In my quarters at 1800, Gunny."

"Yes, sir," Mathias moved between Adama and Gina.

Fischer gave Mathias an apologetic look as he fell in behind Gina.

Adama led them through the hallways of _Galactica_. Those who recognized Gina stared with mixtures of disbelief, fear, and flat out hatred. When they arrived at the pilots briefing room, Adama ordered the marines to remain outside until the pilots were dismissed and walked briskly in. After a last look at Mathias, Gina hesitantly followed.

"I wondered how long it would take for you to end up covered in shit." Fischer said as soon as he and Mathias were alone.

"What?"

He raised his hand in defense. "Why didn't you give me a heads up about goin' to make time with Gina?"

Mathias scowled. Fischer was one of her oldest friends and the only one under her command she allowed to speak frankly without request. "I wasn't making time. I delivered her meal. Announcing the cylon prisoner was about to get fed would not have been a good Idea."

"Come on, Gunny. You knew getting close to her could blow up in your face, right?" Fisher asked.

The question gave Mathias pause. "To be honest, I stopped thinking about it a while ago."

"Well, between now and 18:00 would be a good time to start."

"

**"""""""""**

The pilots straightened as Admiral Adama entered the room. Respectful silence became angry murmurs when they recognized his companion. Everyone, including the Eight, was staring. Unsure what to do, Gina stepped back against the wall. She furtively glanced around before settling her eyes on the Eight. _Athena_, she reminded herself. The Cylon sat comfortably amongst the humans, wearing the uniform of a colonial officer. Athena quirked an eyebrow at her and Gina turned to the Admiral. Her mind, however, stayed on Athena...

_Gina lay on her cot, hands folded behind her head staring at the ceiling. She had only had a short chat with Mathias at breakfast, but was undisturbed by her going off shift. The release and commissioning of the Eight had gotten the guards used to the idea that Cylons could be more than killers. They were all more comfortable around her, if not overtly friendly. She considered and rejected the idea of being nicer to them. She was far too disturbed that her predictions about the Eight hadn't come true to give up her best outlet for venting frustration._

_Gina sat up as someone entered her cell. _Eight!_ She was face to face with another Cylon for the first time in years. _

_"Ah, Hi," the Eight shuffled nervously. "I'm Sharon, most call me Athena now."_

_"Hi," Gina's eyes narrowed as she took in her sister's colonial uniform. Stupid humans had a game called crazy eights, but trusted this one._

_Eight moved further in and glanced around. "Well, it looks a lot like my cell." _

_"Yeah, sure," Gina scoffed. "Please, have a seat on the couch right over there." She waved her hand at one of the walls. "Oh frak! It's not there! Someone must have snatched it during the night!"_

_The Eight froze for a second as her cheeks flushed. "You know what was in my cell?"_

_Gina lost the sarcastic lilt, her voice was low and bitter. "I'm not a war hero for humanity, but they do talk to me." _

_Athena faltered, almost stuttering her response. "Look, if you need something..."_

_Eights always were the best at looking anguished. Every inane word fueled Gina's rage. "Loyalty from a traitor, how touching." _

_Athena lifted her hands in defeat. "I know I'm not your favorite person, and I can't imagine living through what you did. But I want you to be okay."_

_"I'll be okay as soon as I escape. Wanna help? Thought not. Might tarnish your shiny new military buttons." Gina couldn't believe the Eight's gall. Flaunting her place among the humans. She rubbed her forehead, her frustration was like a migraine, constant and stabbing. She looked up and asked with deceptive calm, "Do you like it when we die?" _

_Eight's face hardened. "Did you like watching hundreds on the_ Pegasus _die? Or were you disappointed at not being able to watch all twenty billion get annihilated?" _

_Gina's body shifted like an alley cat as she snarled. "Right now I'd settle for the rest of the_ Pegasus _crew. At least I never have to see that ship again." Pain and anger flashed in the Eight's eyes. Gina's voice was sweet and mocking. "You really should think about it. Wouldn't it feel better if your kills didn't resurrect?"_

_Eight glared. "Cylons don't always resurrect. You would know. Not me." _

_Gina lunged. Two guards rushed in, taking far too long to do anything but die had Gina been fighting a human. But she wasn't. The Eight already had her pinned._

_"Don't shoot!" Athena yelled. "It's under control. Get out." _

_"Get off me!" Gina bucked, but couldn't dislodge her._

_"I'm sorry. Oh God Six, I'm sorry." Athena pressed her lips to Gina's head. "I can't judge you. No one can. Six. Stop. Look at me. Please."_

_Gina turned to look at her sister. She stopped fighting. When the grip on her loosened she moved to cover the Eight's lips with her own. The Eight barely hesitated before returning the kiss. Gina groaned as the traitorous hunger for taste and touch moved her body. Both women clung with almost bruising force. The need for air stopped the clash of teeth and tongues. Reclaiming control of her hand, Gina moved it towards Athena's throat. Her mouth drew a line to the Eight's ear, "Get out before I break your neck."_

_Athena met the threatening hand and laced their fingers. She backed away until their arms were extended. She looked as conflicted as Gina felt. "I'll stay away unless you send for me." It was the first bit of wisdom thing out of the mouth of the Eight called Athena._

_She had not visited again. Gina had not asked for her or anything else. She ignored the voice that told her she was jealous. She did, however, pry information out of the guards about the Eight. Gina began to feel a grudging respect for her sister. However misguided, the Eight on this ship seemed to be the only one that stuck to a conviction like a Six._

Adama's voice filled the room and Gina forced herself to pay attention. "All of you know our situation. The journey through the star cluster and the nebula surrounding it will be treacherous. We must use every resource at our disposal to minimize the risk. Though most of the civilian population will be safe within the Galactica, the survival of the fleet depends, as always, upon you. Do not speak of any mission details in the presence of civilians. They will soon be everywhere but the cockpits of the vipers. I am confident of your ability to succeed. Dismissed."

The pilots filed out of the briefing room, scowling at Gina as they passed. She felt like an insect being inspected. She recognized pilots from the Pegasus. Some glowered as if she'd tortured and raped them, not the other way around. She stared back and most looked away. Narcho and Tarkas didn't. Athena approached without speaking. Her eyes held a mixture of pain, hope and fear. Gina wondered if hers looked the same.

"Racetrack," Adama called out when the room was almost empty. He looked at Gina. She took it as sign to approach. "Captain Edmondson is in command of _Galactica_'s raptor wing." Racetrack regarded Gina coldly. "Make sure that Gina is able to fly a Raptor in three days,"

"Sir?" Racetrack blinked in surprise.

"Cylons don't need sleep. Set up a schedule for a 72-hour intensive training."

"Ah..." Racetrack searched for an acceptable response, looking back and forth between the Admiral and the Cylon. "We need all Raptors to transport civilians, sir."

"Combine her instruction with transport flights, use Raptor 626. Gina, keep your helmet on. Any further questions?"

"No, sir." Racetrack had a thousand, but couldn't ask them now, probably not ever.

"I want a progress report in twelve hours."

"Yes, sir." Was the only response Racetrack could give.

Adama walked away leaving Racetrack and Gina staring warily at each other. Racetrack stepped back to look the Cylon over from head to toe and try to figure out which of her people could be trusted to teach a Cylon to pilot rather than breathe vacuum. Racetrack wanted to trust the Admiral's judgment but, last she'd heard, this Cylon had attacked Athena. She still felt like the enemy. _Frak_ _it!_ She turned on her heel and marched out of the room, waving a hand over her shoulder. "Come on. We need to find a jock smock for you."

"

**"""""""""""**

"So, you really did it?" Colonel Tigh stood beside Adama at the situation table in CIC.

Adama looked up from the papers in front of him. "Yes."

"The quartermaster's report. They've given a flight suit to the skin job."

Adama nodded.

"It's a reserve we took from Cougar's locker after he was shot down." Tigh placed the report on top of the others. "By a skin job in a heavy raider."

The admiral narrowed his eyes, but his XO didn't cower. Adama spoke in his command hardened voice. "You have the CIC. I have a meeting with the president."

Tigh gathered the paperwork. He'd made it clear what he thought of letting it out and handing it a raptor; he didn't imagine Laura Roslin would feel any different.

**TBC...**


	6. Pt 2: Killing the Undercarriage: ch 6

**Disclaimer: **Everything you recognize is owned by someone else. Everyone you don't was created to play with RDM and Eicks toys. Not sure how Pullo from Rome ended up in the sandbox, but he ain't mine either.

'

**Warning**: Gina did experience rape and torture. **There are confrontations with a rapist**. Mature themes, Sex, Violence, Language. Nothing is explicit, but it all adds up.

'

**Part Two: Killing the Undercarriage**

**'**

**Chapter 6**

'

Laura Roslin, President of the Twelve Colonies, sat on the couch in Admiral Adama's quarters and slipped off her shoes. "You're convinced this is wise?" Curling her legs under, she peered at him over her glasses, wondering if he'd lost his mind.

"Yeah, I think so," Adama rumbled. He handed Laura a drink and sat down beside her.

Laura took the drink with one hand and pulled off her glasses with the other. Looking intently at Adama, she hoped to dissuade him from his chosen course. "What if she tries to escape or attack a ship?"

"She's not an idiot. Without exact knowledge of the position of the Cylon fleet there's no chance of finding them. All offensive ordnance has been removed from her ship. We'll have plenty of time to disable or destroy the raptor if she tries anything."

Laura shook her head. "But you can't be sure that she won't try."

"If she does we lose a Raptor, but if she doesn't? We may challenge that damned Cylon sense of superiority."

"How does that help us?" Laura struggled to remain calm.

Adama took a sip from his drink. "The Cylons looked at us and judged us unworthy of survival. Everything – the attack on the colonies, the genocide, everything – stems from them thinking they are better than us. They keep finding us. They probably still get information from inside this fleet. I want them to find out that Gina, the Cylon with the greatest reason to hate us, the one our military has hated the most, is working _with_ us. We'll have a Six and an Eight on our side and with luck a few dumbstruck Cylons on theirs." Adama finished his drink and set the empty glass firmly on the table. "They failed miserably at making peace. We succeed and the next time they decide to annihilate us, some of them might disagree. Splitting their unity buys us time. With luck, they stop judging us and start judging themselves."

Laura remained silent for a moment and shook her head. "You're grasping at straws and taking a great risk by giving that Six even limited freedom and access in hopes of causing some small fracture in their so called society."

"This is our best chance of getting through to Gina and our best chance to get through the nebula. The Cylons aren't snapping at our heels and Gina wants to eat as much as the rest of us." He refilled his glass and took a swig. "If I don't use her, I'll be sending pilots on a suicide mission and we're likely to lose fleet ships with them."

Laura shut her eyes and rested her head against the couch for a moment. She felt like screaming. She couldn't believe he expected her to go along with this. "Bill, Gina got clubbed over the head twice. What makes you think she won't turn against us at the first opportunity?" Exasperated Laura added, "And why didn't you just shoot her over New Caprica? I'm sure she wants to go home."

Adama laughed bitterly. "I thought about it. And don't be sure."

Bill knew this would be the mother of all hard sixes. He checked Laura's eyes. There was still affection under the animosity, like a teacher looking at a beloved but hopelessly errant child. "Gina's cover on the Pegasus was blown when her people sent another Six in with a Centurion boarding party. It appears her fellow Cylons were less than happy the _Pegasus_ survived. She provided us with the most forbidden of all Cylon intelligence so she could commit suicide by prison guard." He took another sip. "According to Athena, suicide without some type of grand martyrdom is a mortal sin in the eyes of their God. The Cylons destroyed twelve planets and murdered fifty billion people just because we have flaws." Adama polished off his drink. "I doubt Gina wants to go home and share her memories."

Laura raised her eyebrow. "What makes you sure she's changed her mind about dying?"

"She's had opportunities to force us to kill her and at least one clear opportunity to escape the brig." He took a deep breath. "She told one of her guards about Centurion weaknesses. We passed that information on to the resistance. It saved your life when you were in front of that firing squad. She's already made her choice. She just doesn't know it. It's in our best interest to help her realize that."

Laura was taken aback by Gina's contribution to her survival, but her time under Cylon occupation wouldn't allow her give in. "Bill, you're assuming a lot about a prisoner and putting lives at risk. Human lives. We don't have a lot of those to spare. And no one will forgive us if she destroys a ship."

"We take risks every day. But there are risks and there are certainties. And the certainty is that my pilots will die if we don't do this."

Laura leaned back her head and sighed before righting herself. "You need to be right about this or we'll never be able to hold the fleet together."

The Admiral held her gaze. New Caprica had changed her. He had spent a lot of time on a half empty battlestar reflecting on what had changed him. "I gave Starbuck the order to kill Cain and Cain issued orders for Fisk to kill me and _my entire command_."

Laura gasped. The scope of Cain's ruthlessness, though instantly recognized, continued to astound her. She plopped back against the couch. Adama reached for the bottle, then sunk in next to her.

"Cain was already denying civilians supplies. She wanted to conscript from the fleet. She'd have taken action against anyone unwilling to cooperate. With less than fifty thousand of us left we would have ended up fighting each other." He filled her glass, "The biggest internal threat this fleet has ever seen was resolved by Gina's bullet."

Laura sighed in frustration. "That doesn't mean we should put the fleet at risk with an attempt to integrate her."

Adama sobered, "Laura, every decision Cain made was militarily sound, yet she vilified the military and all of humanity with her orders. That crew became nothing but a bunch of marauding pirates with Gina as their trophy."

"Bill..." Laura started but the Admiral interrupted.

"What they did to that woman was the first crime I was made aware of and I barely reacted. A prisoner on _my ship_ was raped. Two of _my men_ were taken, one was murdered." He swallowed hard. "When I decided the rape and torture of a Cylon wasn't important enough to act upon, I allowed the travesty of Cain's legacy to spread to my ship and kill my officer." He turned to look directly into Roslin's eyes. "How we survive _is_ important Laura. And we have no idea how long it will take to reach Earth or how many times the Cylons will find us before we do. We do know we can not survive an all out battle with the Cylon fleet. We have to shift the game."

Laura gave half a smile. "I still think you're taking an enormous risk."

Adama squeezed her hand. "I won't betray the trust of the fleet, Laura. This really is our best option."

"You're the most honorable man I know," Laura smirked, "aside from your son." She picked up her untouched glass and downed it. "If I'm forced to resign, you'll have to deal with Zarek and I'll need a place to live." She stretched out on the couch and planted her feet in the admiral's lap. "I won't be pleasant company."


	7. Pt 2: Killing the Undercarriage: ch 7

**Disclaimer: **Everything you recognize is owned by someone else. Everyone you don't was created to play with RDM and Eicks toys. Not sure how Pullo from Rome ended up in the sandbox, but he ain't mine either.

'

**Warning**: Gina did experience rape and torture. **There are confrontations with a rapist**. Mature themes, Sex, Violence, Language. Nothing is explicit, but it all adds up.

'

**Author's note: **This chapter also has some added material, though not a new scene.

'

**Part Two: Killing the Undercarriage**

**'**

**Chapter 7**

'

Erin Mathias walked to the admiral's quarters with a growing sense of fatalism weighting her steps. The last time she'd been called in was a few weeks after the Cylons had arrived at New Caprica. Security had been increased and Gina put on suicide watch. No one was to talk to her for fear of her resurrecting with intelligence on the fleet. They had orders not to kill her under any circumstance. The changes, of course, provided their own information.

During the stress free time of settlement things had grown lax. And she had been the worst offender. Exchanging jokes, comfort and encouragement with the traumatized Cylon had become commonplace. Mathias was uncomfortable with the newly enforced distance, but she had her orders. More importantly she understood the reasons for them. Then she disobeyed them.

_Mathias entered Gina's cell with a dinner tray, flanked by two marines. _

_"Gunny, talk to me. You look awful. You've been exhausted since we jumped."_

_"I'm sorry, Gina. I can't talk." She turned to go, against protocol. She just couldn't look at Gina without being battered by conflicting emotions._

_"Gunny, stop! I know my people found the settlement."_

_Mathias obeyed. Gina wasn't supposed to know they even had a settlement, let alone that it had been found by the Cylons. Mathias put her command mask firmly in place before facing her._

_Gina answered the unasked question. "No regular jumps, not to mention that tan you came back from leave with. It was obvious you'd settled. We jump, everyone stops talking to me and starts cursing Cylons. You don't even play cards anymore. It wasn't hard to figure out."_

_That relaxed her slightly. She had assumed Gina knew about the settlement though they both pretended she didn't. The woman was anything but stupid. But knowledge of the occupation was dangerous. Could Gina be dropping the pretense of ignorance to fish for information? _

_Gina leaned forward and clasped her hands. "I also know about the drills."_

_Apparently she had to get her boot up her unit's asses about guard duty protocol as well as getting them back in shape. "Anything else you think you know?"_

_Gina hissed. "Don't be so hostile, Mathias. It's not like I have anything to do but obsess over scraps of chatter and try to read lips through the glass. And yes, I know you're practicing for ground combat against centurions."_

Frak! _She should have realized isolating Gina would only make everything they feared more likely. She needed to speak to the Old Man. "I can't talk to you right now, Gina."_

_Gina pleaded with her eyes, but her voice was firm. "I don't want you to talk, I want you to listen." _

_Mathias was confounded. "What are you going to do, tell us how to fight centurions?" _

_The muscles in Gina's neck spasmed. She swallowed hard. "Since they'll resurrect and you won't...Yes."_

_Erin felt her eyes widen as she struggled not to react. "Gina, I'm under strict orders."_

_Gina snapped. "Shackle me if you don't trust me not to break your neck. Don't you think I'd miss you if you were dead? You and Cottle are the only ones who talk to me like I'm alive.' She waved dismissively at the two marines. "They barely talk to me at all." _

_"Maybe that's because you're always trying to frak with their heads." This was not good, disobeying orders, snapping at Gina_...Get control of yourself Mathias. _"Can you tell us anything Sharon hasn't?"_

_Gina spoke with confidence. "Sixes work more with centurions, we repair their mechanicals."_

_Mathias wanted to believe her. "Why would you want to help us win a battle?"_

_"You can't win against the Cylon fleet." Gina stated flatly. "The best you can do is escape with more people than you lose. I don't want you to die trying to rescue everyone else, Mathias."_

_Over the last year she had had to remind herself repeatedly that Gina was not really her friend. It appeared she may have been wrong. Gina's mood could turn on a cubit, it might be now or never. "I will have to shackle you. Do you still want to talk to me?"_

_Gina held out her wrists. "Can we talk without tweedle dee and tweedle dum?"_

_"_

**"""""""""""""**

Last time Mathias had faced the admiral after disobeying orders, she'd had valuable intelligence. She'd gotten away with only a stiff reprimand. Permission had been granted to maintain a cordial relationship with Gina had been granted, but extended conversations had to be approved and conducted under strict protocol. This time she had broken every protocol and had nothing to show for it.

She didn't want to imagine Gina attacking her. Her brain told her she was being painfully naive. There were people Gina wanted to kill. After years of listening to her nightmares, Mathias had thought of killing a few of them herself. It was ironic that she had undoubtedly lost the Old Man's trust just as Gina had gained it. She was probably going to be taking orders from Fischer.

At exactly 1800 hours, she knocked on the Admiral's the door. After a rumbled "Enter", she walked over to his desk and snapped to attention. "Sir, Gunnery Sergeant Mathias reporting as ordered."

Adama rose and invaded her personal space. "You were given permission to remain close to her. Not to give her a chance to walk right out of the brig over your dead body."

"Yes, Sir."

"You are a Marine of the Colonial Fleet," Adama circled her closely.

Though it wasn't a question, Mathias knew to answer. "Yes, Sir."

"It is your duty to protect the people of this fleet. Are you capable of doing your duty, Gunny?" He continued moving around her. This type of closeness and constant movement made almost all uncomfortable and nervous, Mathias stood firm.

"Yes, Sir."

Adama moved behind the desk and sat down. "At ease, Gunny. Remember that Gina is a prisoner. Do not allow your feelings for her to interfere with your duty."

She wasn't being transferred. "Yes, Sir."

"In the coming days you will be responsible for guarding everyone from the prisoner and the prisoner from everyone else. You cannot afford any lapses in judgment."

Or demoted. "Yes, Sir."

"Keep a two person rotation. Don't crowd her while she's receiving instruction. Remain unobtrusive, we don't want to call attention to her with all the civilians coming to _Galactica_. Make sure your men and women know that protecting her is as important as protecting everyone else. Though there appear to be no Cylons in the area we don't want her to resurrect with knowledge of our plans. I want immediate incident reports."

Mathias thought her ears were deceiving her. She had expected to be torn apart. She wasn't even being reprimanded. "Yes, Sir."

"Any questions, Gunny?" Adama asked in a tone that left room for none.

Mathias could fill a book with them. "No, sir."

"Good. Dismissed."

Mathias turned on her heel and left. Once outside she inhaled and exhaled fully. She had almost managed to relax when she was struck by Adama's comment about her feelings for Gina.

"

**""""""""""""""**

Bill Adama looked unseeing at the papers on desk. Gina had identified the resurrection ship after Athena had refused, simultaneously providing them with the means to make her death permanent and proving her value as an intelligence asset. Making the decision between prison and the airlock hadn't been easy. Each day she went without killing anyone weighted the scale toward keeping her alive.

_He'd feared Cylons were programmed with just a mockery of human emotions. Or maybe that had been his hope. Gina sat trying to glare, but even the sounds of the ship traveling through the pipes made her eyes dart and body to recoil leaving him no doubt of the veracity of cylon emotions. Gina's were genuine enough to get her airlocked to protect his crew and Sharon's weren't much less volatile since Helo's death. She and her baby her baby were at risk. If he airlocked Gina, he could end up without a cylon to question. _

_Gina wasn't anybody's idea of trustworthy, but she was needy. _Galactica_ was guaranteed to seem friendly by comparison with the _Pegasus_. Unfortunately he had more and more reason not to trust the only person Gina seemed to- Gaius Baltar. The his gunny had entered the brig. Gina's body stilled as her eyes focused on Mathias. Mathias nodded at the prisoner and even Gina's breathing seemed to slow. _

The bond between them had proven invaluable. Until this morning he had missed the turn the relationship had taken. He had let his gunny loose in a hornet's nest and she had gotten stung. He could not afford to move her away from the queen bee now.

"

**"""""""""""""**

"Frak!" Racetrack yelled as the Raptor came to a halt with a jolt in _Galactica's_ port-side hangar. Sitting back she took off her helmet and glared at Gina. "Listen blondie, get it through that CPU you call a brain, pull up the nose and throttle back. _Galactica's_ gravity field does the rest and you land without shredding the undercarriage." Frustrated, Racetrack pinched the bridge of her nose. It was the third landing Gina had missed. For now the Raptor was still functional, but a few more like this and it wouldn't be.

"Why, thank you," Gina replied with exaggerated sweetness.

"What!" Racetrack regretted the query as soon as it left her mouth.

Gina replied innocently. "Ten minutes ago I was a stupid toaster. Now I'm 'blondie'." Racetrack glared as Gina smiled suggestively. "I can't imagine what I'll be to you in another ten minutes."

"Frak you," Racetrack spat as she wormed her way out of the seat.

Gina ogled the Captain. "Is that an offer?"

Racetrack wanted to strangle her. She stormed out of the Raptor instead.

Gina laughed. She had to admit that grumpy behavior aside, the woman had taught her a lot. Too bad she really enjoyed irritating her.

'

**TBC...**


	8. Part 3: Killing Cylons: Chapter 8

**Warnings and Disclaimers **see chapter 1

I noticed there are still people reading this. Would love to hear from you. If you've read this before, let me know what you think of the changes.

**'**

**Part Three: Killing Cylons **

'

**Chapter 8**

'

Gina sat at a table in Galactica's pilot lounge and poked at something that looked as if it had been scratched from the bottom of a refrigerator. Unfortunately after twenty hours of intensive training she needed to eat it. This, such as it was, would be the last meal for military personal. From now on they'd have to stick with stims - though someone suggested paper. Gina wanted to read the raptor manual, then maybe she'd eat it. It galled her that Racetrack insisted she proved that the best way to detect a Cylon was to see if they could trap a landing.

Her break would only last a half hour. There was no way to go back to her cell _and _eat, which explained why they let her in the pilots lounge. What was harder to understand was why she was being left alone. She had expected marines at her heels, but once she stepped out of the raptor the marines just disappeared. Those she saw stayed back and seemed to ignore her.

At first it had felt good walking around unconstrained. Then she began to wonder what the humans were up to. She supposed it could be an outbreak of stupidity, but she doubted it. She sensed too much hostility to believe anyone suddenly trusted her simply because the Admiral let her out of the brig. Her initial sense of liberation had given way to anxiety that continued to grow. Was this a test with unknown parameters that she would be airlocked for failing? She needed to figure out what game was being played.

She surveyed the room, most of the other pilots were sitting around with nothing but crumbs on their plates. The lack of food didn't seem to affect anyone's confidence in Adama and Roslin's ability to lead them through this latest disaster. The pilots were interacting playfully or smirking with amusement at the antics of others. Athena and Racetrack sat with their heads stuck together as they talked quietly. They began laughing riotously and Gina experienced a deep ache. Somehow in her cell it was less painfully obvious how alone she really was. Mathias kept her from feeling abandoned and almost always brought in her meals. Gina poked at the scraps on her plate wishing she was with her now.

"

**"""""""""**

Mathias sat on Gina's cot and stared at the blank wall. It was the solitude she had wanted, but it unsettled her on another level. She'd come to look forward to her time visiting this place, but without Gina, it was lifeless.

Could the Old Man be right? Gina was a Cylon, an enemy, a friend...and what else?

She had pushed buttons, tested limits and tried everyone's patience, always skirting the line that would force them to retaliate. Mathias got that Gina was angry and bored. It was how she had managed to blow off Gina's machinations. They had become a game between them until biting words gentled and only a sparing playfulness remained. The real mystery was why Gina co-operated as much as she did. Mathias had never asked. She wasn't sure whether she feared Gina would lie or tell a truth she didn't want to hear.

Following orders had led Mathias to the discovery that she could speak to Gina of the past in ways she couldn't with others. Gina's eyes never rolled or glazed over. She hadn't sought an explanation for why she had opened up to a Cylon to heal from her losses. She only knew it had worked. And much of her armor had been discarded in the process.

She'd eventually slipped and revealed her present frustrations with Colonel Tigh. She had expected Gina, with her hatred of all things military, to jump on it and use it to undermine her dedication. She didn't. She gave advice instead, good advice.

After being under Athena's command, Mathias believed a Cylon could be trusted, but Gina was no Athena. Gina had acted ruthlessly and paid too high a price for it. Mathias couldn't blame her for shooting Cain and hating so many, but that only made the possibility of complete trust more distant.

Mathias glanced around the empty cell and felt vaguely ill. Worrying about trusting Gina was a joke. Mathias had used her orders to keep her head up ass. Her wife would have called her denial 'a stunning display of mental obstruction from the emotionally constipated.'

The sad reality was that if Gina escaped back to her people, she would be devastated. And if she remained in the brig it would be worse. Mathias could no longer deny that she was a jailer who couldn't look at her prisoner without wanting her. She hoped her wife's soul remained joyful in Elysian despite who was claiming her heart.

'

**"""""""""**

Gina finished her imitation of a meal as slowly as possible while she had scanned through the flight manual. It was the same as the one in her memory, just reiterating Racetrack's instructions in more complex terminology.

A group of pilots sat down at the table next to her. She could feel their stares, but refused to look up. The manual was spared from being consumed. She pretended to read.

"Hey, look. It's the Cylon bitch that murdered the admiral."

Unable to ignore the loud words, Gina's head jerked up. Tarkas from the _Pegasus_ was glowering at her. When they met he had pinned her against a computer console, said his name meant collision, and that he was sure glad he'd collided with her. She'd said no to him three different ways before Belzen came around the corner and angrily ordered the pilot to report to his office. Belzen had assured her she would not be bothered by him again.

"I can't believe that Adama let this _thing_ out of the brig," he bellowed. "Such a warm frakable blow up doll. Maybe it offered to bend over for him, make him feel like he's got balls."

Gina's anger flared but she kept her reaction in check. She heard chairs scrape back as offended pilots stood up. Two pilots moved away from Tarkas' table and the two who remained looking around warily.

"Awww, come on, people. We're supposed to uphold the principles of colonial society with freedom of speech like our glorious prophet Roslin wants us to. And I say we can't trust this thing." He pointed a finger at Gina and then turned to Athena. "And we can't trust that thing. But the _old_ man not only lets toasters run loose, he gives them raptors. Cain kept machines where they belong. But she was a real admiral, not a glorified crossing guard, promoted by a drugged out school teacher."

He was provoking everyone. At least half a dozen enraged pilots stood with clenched fists. The two who had left his table closed in behind her. Tarkas grinned at her smugly and she understood. They could get away with killing her in a brawl.

Burning anger hardened to icy clarity. She sprang up and slammed her hands down on the table. Everyone's attention turned to her. She moved to put a table between her and the encroaching pilots. She spoke lowering her voice with every word. "What makes you think Cain was better?"

"Cain made you fear us. She would never have to let the battleships drop to half strength. And she would have kicked your frakking toaster asses at New Caprica."

"She killed her XO in the middle of CIC because he objected to a suicidal attack on a fortified outpost. She took food, meds and FTL-drives from fifteen ships and left twelve thousand humans to die. She wouldn't have kicked anyone's ass on New Caprica. She'd have left everyone to die and _never_ looked back."

She backed up, but stopped at the door. "How has the crew of _Galactica_ managed to survive without becoming a bunch of murderous sociopaths?" She spun and left as Lee Adama entered. Two very relieved marines followed her. The marines with Lee were tense and unsure. There was nothing worse than being a marine with orders not to shoot.

'

**"""""""""**

Mathias entered the hangar bay. Overcrowded with civilians being herded, deck hands fussing over ships and pilots impatiently waiting, it was even more chaotic than when she had left. She followed the movement of Chief Tyrol as he waded through, barking orders. A tall blonde circled a raptor. She made her own way through the crowd and stood silently, resisting the urge to completely close the distance between them. When Gina pulled her head out of the port thruster Mathias smiled. "Hey."

Gina took a step toward her then stopped abruptly. "Hi."

Gina's initial smile had disappeared. She looked miserable. Mathias tried to ease the tension by widening her grin. "I heard about your little speech."

Gina stiffened. "Yeah? Is the airlock picked out?"

After a beat Mathias realized Gina was serious. "No! What made you think that?"

Gina began to rub her neck. "Arguing with pilots, criticizing humans, it isn't exactly what I was let out to do."

Mathias stopped herself from reaching out and settled back on her heels. "You said what most of them would have if they'd been thinking with anything but their fists."

Gina hugged herself. "Nobody minds that I'm the one who said it?"

Mathias tried to convey all she felt. "You were amazing. It could have gotten ugly enough to lose pilots from the roster. Fischer and Harder said you handled it perfectly."

"That's...not the reaction I expected." Gina berated herself. She couldn't relax her suspicions and desperately wanted to get rid of those last inches Mathias kept between them. She began to pace instead.

Mathias looked on helplessly. Gina had reverted to the jittery body language of the past. "Did what Tarkas said trigger something? Are you okay?"

Mathias' distress kept Gina from confiding all her suspicions. She didn't want her in the middle of this. "I'm alright, Gunny. I'm just nervous. Walking around the hangar makes me expect I'll get clubbed any second. I never thought I'd miss having marines watch everything I do."

Mathias' mouth dropped open and her eyes filled with pain. "Gina, I'm so sorry, I didn't think."

Gina froze. She had gone from being nebulously nervous to pointedly afraid. "Why are you apologizing, what's wrong?"

"Me. I'm what's wrong. Marines are still guarding you. We've just been hanging back trying to blend in so we don't draw attention to you. I should have told you. I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you feel free. I didn't mean for you to feel unsafe."

Gina lost her breath as everything fell into place. "I did. I did feel free." She laughed piteously. "Then I convinced myself it was a trap."

Pain and sorrow were etched across both their faces. Mathias limited herself to the assurances she was most accustomed to. "You're not alone, Gina. We're still protecting that door."

"I...Thank you." Gina hoped her eyes conveyed more than her words. "I have to make the pre-flight check."

"Actually you have to report to the briefing room and I have to do crowd control, but I'll be picking you up when you get back. Come." Mathias tossed her head toward the briefing room. "I'll walk you part way."

Before they parted, Mathias decided Gina needed reassurance more than she needed circumspection. She reached for her hand and held it. "Stay safe."

For a moment Gina was too shocked to respond. Recovering, she squeezed Mathias' hand, "I will."

A blush spread over Mathias' face as she held Gina's gaze and returned the pressure. Gina was amazed. The possibility that they would act on their attraction was exhilarating. Then Mathias' professional demeanor descended and she moved away.

**TBC...**


	9. Part 3: Killing Cylons: Chapter 9

**Warnings and Disclaimers **see chapter 1

I noticed there are still people reading this. Would love to hear from you.

**'**

**Part Three: Killing Cylons **

**'**

**Chapter 9**

'

Athena plopped down beside Gina. She and Dualla had gone over the changes made to the communications system during the tactical briefing. "I got permission to leave the marines behind, less fodder for the gossip mill with no audience." After strapping in she gave Gina a pointed look, "Are we okay?"

Gina finished her preflight check before answering. "This is either the best or worst day I've had since the _Pegasus_. I can't really tell because humans keep doing too many unexpected things. Makes me not want to kill the only other Cylon in the fleet. Is that close enough to okay?"

Athena's smile went to full dimple, but she kept herself from laughing. She wasn't sure that was as much of a joke as it seemed to be. "It'll do. Take us out."

Gina gave the deckhand a thumbs-up. Flashlight signs directed the ship to the starting position. Gina powered up the engines and they shot out of the hangar. Athena drilled her about every switch and dial, making her reach for all of them. She tapped her finger on the DRADIS screen. "What do you see?"

Gina frowned at the blips and identification codes. She identified the fleet ships and pointed to the final grouping, "The CAP."

"Which pilots?"

She recalled the duty assignments. "Starbuck and Hot Dog."

Athena activated the wireless. "Starbuck. Athena. Do you copy?"

"Miss me?" came the crackled the reply.

"I have a rook learning the art of flying a raptor. Mind if we join you?" Athena asked.

A cackle came over the wireless. "There is no art in driving a moving van, but I'll let you fly with us."

"You know you need this moving van to save your ass when you rough ride that hot rod into trouble." Athena asserted.

"Well you know how much I like a good rough ride." Starbuck said pointedly.

Athena grinned. Her voice dropped to a lower register. "You like every kind of ride."

Hot Dog interjected. "Would that ride be in space or the back of the van."

"I'd be up for the combination if I could get Athena to break some rules. It's tragic how well behaved she's become." Starbuck managed to sound almost philosophical.

"You break enough rules for both of us and you love how well I behave." Athena replied before turning to Gina. "Speed up and close in on Hot Dog's wing."

Hot Dog decided to offer the benefit of his experience. "Don't worry rook, this conversation is the real reason military channels are scrambled."

Gina pushed the throttle. _This is definitely not a moving van._ Sweat beaded on her forehead. She had downloaded piloting skills only so she could use a ship to do as much damage as possible in a death run or to jump away. Flying alongside vipers was surreal enough to throw her off balance.

"Keep cool," Athena said calmingly. "Use the thrusters, small bursts, close in."

"Close in? Aren't we close enough?"

"No."

Swallowing, Gina reduced the distance. She tried to tell herself it was just like driving on the Oranu beltway, not that anyone in their right mind wanted to do that either. There was a reason she was an infiltrator, not a pilot.

"Good. Now hold this position."

"It seems your rook has a talent for flying," Starbuck's voice came over the wireless.

"Yeah, I think so too." Athena stated with guarded pride.

Starbuck added. "And since she's been flying for two days, I bet she can land better than you."

Gina caught her breath while Athena laughed. "I am so going to leave you floating in space one day."

"I like space compared to that clunky van and it's slow stick," Starbuck insisted. "Hey, speaking of pathetic sticks, your rook makes a great speech, but the next time that asshole shoots his mouth off, she should break his favorite stick in half."

Athena rolled her eyes and shook her head, "I don't think she needs the suggestion..."

Starbuck made a slight course correction that caught Gina by surprise. Expletives and threats traveled over the open com as Gina tried to berate the raptor into doing what she wanted.

"She could just say that next time she sees him." Hotdog suggested.

"I'm taking my rook away before you get her into trouble. I probably won't see you until rack time, Starbuck."

"No problem. I'll bring the stick." Starbuck replied with a smirk in her voice.

Athena turned beat red. "Raptor 626, proceeding to maneuvers area."

"Copy that. Watch how well you behave with that rook." Starbuck replied.

Athena glared at Starbucks viper, then signaled Gina to pull the raptor away.

Listening to the banter had put Gina on edge. Her time living freely with humans had not been supported by the illusion of being one. She'd never become completely at ease with irrelevant conversation while working. She knew the pilots were trying to show support, but her relentless sense of isolation wouldn't let her accept it. The conversation fueled jealous comparison instead.

She would never be at ease like Athena. She didn't have a husband who stopped Thorne. She had a lover who ordered him to torture her. After her shift Athena could be with Starbuck whenever and wherever she wanted. Gina had stolen moments with someone who spent most of her time on the other side of bars and bulletproof walls, then left when her shift was over. Her desire for Mathias could get her nothing more than a frak in the brig recorded for posterity. No wonder she thought of Helena after feeling it flare. The expectation created by Mathias' touch changed to hopelessness.

Athena broke into her thoughts, "We'll fly past the _Northern Star_ and stay on a course between the CAP elliptic and the fleet. You're doing well."

"You're doing better." Gina snapped.

Athena spoke sympathetically. "In time you could have what I have."

Gina lashed out at the absurd statement. "Nothing stops an Eight from jumping from one thing to the next, does it? Do you love her or are you just frakking her because your husband's dead?"

"I'm going to forget that you said that." Athena worked to control her anger. _Frakking Sixes. Piss 'em off and they could out bitch a Three._ "Do everything you can to maintain this orbit. I'm going to cause a crisis and you're going to get us out of it... listen to what I say and respond, the distraction is as close as you're going to get to the chaos in that star cluster."

Gina ignored the warning in Athena's tone. "Fine. We can talk about all the fun you've been having with humans. Any other frak buddies?"

"Are you talking about the fun of my husband being murdered? Or maybe you're thinking of almost being forced to have an abortion. You think my daughter's death was fun?" Athena stopped and took a deep breath. "I fought for this, Gina. I had to get everyone to look past everything Boomer and the rest of us have done. They're giving you a chance because of me. Oh and Gina, pilots always stick together in the soup. You could at least do it when we're in the same bird." _Frak._ This is not how she's supposed to be doing this. "You need friends and we may be your best bet."

Gina scoffed. Athena was an idiot if she thought Gina should be thankful. "Friends? I'm not here because I threw myself at their feet begging for a chance to do anything to make them like me."

Athena matched Gina's tone. "No, you just let a mercury class battlestar survive. You tried to make the same frakking choice I did."

Gina's mouth fell open. "You're insane."

"Eyes front, Six " Athena took out her aggression by 'berserking' the bird. "You didn't exactly follow orders on the _Pegasus_. And given that a Six who couldn't even pass for you was sent in, I'm not the only Cylon who noticed."

Gina spoke through clenched teeth. "My sister was a mistake!"

Athena snapped back. "We're Cylons. Everything's a plan. What was yours?"

Gina looked away. "They had to make blind jumps! It was G... luck, they survived."

Athena wouldn't relent. "And the ambush? You did a hell of a job de-networking and firewalling the computers before sending those command codes. None of them, not even Cavil and his supposedly wondrous brain, could get that ship to go dead in space."

Gina flushed. "I was still undercover."

"And after you saw the Six? ...Starboard thrusters, short bursts... Your cover was blown. You should've killed Shaw. You had orders to kill Cain. You'd have been boxed if you'd resurrected without doing it." Athena went for the jugular. "What makes you think they won't box you now?"

Gina's response sounded desperate, even to her. "I took the shot."

"I had the same training you did, Six. Point and shoot, just like a machine. It's a bit harder when you love someone, isn't it?" What was she doing? Trying to get Gina to break her neck. She had become so good at hiding her feelings among the crew she forgot she had some of them. Maybe Gina was right, she really did want to kill Cylons. She needed to focus on the plan. "Everyone on the _Pegasus_ may have been willfully blind, but I'm not and neither is the Old Man." Athena looked over to gauge Gina's reaction. "Even after everything you went through, you helped Mathias. You just defended all of us from Tarkas ... And you were right, we're not murderous sociopaths." Athena took a breath, she knew that wasn't true for everyone. "Forgiving people who have done horrible things has become an art in the colonial fleet."

Gina spoke with absolute certainty. "They sure as frak haven't forgiven genocide."

Athena undermined it. "They might have if we didn't turn their colony into a prison and then build another one for people to disappear into and die. We wouldn't know peace if it bit us in the ass."

Athena hoped Adama realized Gina's refusal to suck up to her was probably a good thing. Gina was past trying to manipulate her. She needed to do this right. She had been full of rage more than once since joining the fleet. If she couldn't cut through Gina's, she was going to be first in line to shove her out an airlock. People were starting to like Gina and that only made her more dangerous. Sixes fed on any type of attraction and used it.

Gina fought the urge to choke Athena. She did fear her reception if she resurrected, yet couldn't imagine living among humans as Athena did. Memories flashed and she shuddered. "How do you know so much about what happened on the _Pegasus_?"

"The rest of the _Pegasus_ crew like to talk as much as Tarkas." Adama had shown her Cain's logs and Shaw's reports, then asked if she noticed anything irregular from a Cylon perspective. She didn't want to mention it. She feared Gina, the master manipulator would smell a rat and stop talking. She almost sighed with relief when Gina spoke.

"You do realize what you're asking me to do then."

Athena didn't miss a beat. "Not kill anyone from the _Pegasus_ no matter how much you want to and never help the Cylon fleet to find us. Yes."

She may not have made a conscious choice, but Gina knew that every time she shut a door on the _Pegasus_, she opened a window. _Frak, Cylons don't even have windows or doors._ "I curse myself everyday for letting that ship survive."


	10. Part 3: Killing Cylons: Chapter 10

**Warnings and Disclaimers **see chapter 1

I noticed there are still people reading this. Would love to hear from you.

**'**

**Part Three: Killing Cylons **

**'**

**Chapter 10**

Athena mercifully didn't interrupt as Gina wrestled with herself. Not lumping all humans under the umbrella of her hatred was a long way from being able to forgive or just ignore her torturers. She could barely resist reaching out to break their necks. "Aren't there any humans you want to kill?"

"You mean other than the ones who killed Helo? Did you know taking time out to watch him die is the reason you're alive?" Athena took a deep breath to curb her resentment over the inequitable exchange. "No one has been through what you have...but we've all been broken in some way by everything we've lost. And we all have regrets that could crush us. No one can see who they used to be when they look in the mirror."

Gina knew Mathias had them. Only mutual respect had stopped Gina from using the awareness against her. Cottle had earned that exemption as well. The others weren't so lucky. She played their guilt, ramped up their fears and prodded their insecurities. It was her only power. Athena wanted her to give it up and bond. "I don't understand how you can trust them over us."

"You don't remember how manipulative we are?" Athena spoke as if Gina was delusional before changing her tone. "Look, I was meeting with a Six and Five who knew I was in love with Helo. They casually talked about killing him as if it was nothing. I knew I'd never feel as little as they did again. I was pregnant. I was in love and I needed to protect it. I knew Boomer was happier here than she had ever been with us. Being with Helo was the only shot I had at that kind of happiness. And I knew Helo would love our baby like no Cylon could."

"He just accepted you?" Gina was unable to comprehend that reality.

"He shot me when he found out. I told him to. But a few days later he started taking on everyone to keep me alive, starting with Starbuck. She definitely tried to aim better than he did... I guess we were lucky to be isolated and dependent on each other." Athena struggled with the guilt she still felt over her deception of Helo.

Gina didn't notice. "Helena's rage after the attack was so powerful, I could taste it. It made me sure we were right, but I still couldn't shoot her when I needed to. Now I think I could kill anyone, human or Cylon."

Athena was beginning to realize how incredibly lucky she had been despite all she had lost. "Between the Cylon Fleet and being with someone who would shoot her oldest living friend in the head, I doubt you had any good choices."

Gina didn't accept the sympathy Athena offered. "When I killed Helena it wasn't because I had no choice. I wanted her dead."

Athena stared at Gina for a moment, maybe this wasn't as hopeless as she feared. "You made a good argument in the lounge that you defended not only yourself but the entire fleet when you did."

Gina continued as if she hadn't registered Athena's words. "I dream of her being stuck in a cell and realizing how frakking wrong she was. I didn't realize killing her wouldn't be enough. Sometimes I feel like her soul latched on to me when I shot her... love may have saved you, but it made everything worse for me. And it wasn't as strong as my hate." The dichotomy of her experience tormented her. "Do you hate anyone Boomer loved?"

Athena's face hardened instantly; she didn't have to think about the answer. "Cavil, I hate Cavil for intimidating and manipulating her. Boomer used to look up to him so much. And I hate that I couldn't tell everyone he was a Cylon. Seeing him made me feel so weak. I knew he didn't care about Boomer any more than he cares about God. He made her shoot someone we love, but I couldn't stand up to him."

Gina hadn't expected that. Why hadn't she expected that? Because she couldn't think about it and stay sane. He should have warned her about the Six, if it wasn't a trap. "Baltar said humans killed Helo for trying to escape, why haven't you gone after them?"

"Baltar was an idiot. They killed Helo because he was married to me..." that was the last thing Gina needed to hear. Athena forced herself back on track while forcing the raptor into another spin. She needed to walk Gina through her experience. "Galen can only say how many took him from the cell. They wore hoods, probably afraid of Cain's ghost. No one identified them. It will always hurt. Galen told me the last thing he heard Helo say was 'Worth it.'" Athena's voice became hollow and cracked. "My heart broke when he died. I felt it snap in my chest, but I needed to honor my vows to him. Not looking for revenge is the cost of living here. And I blamed myself as much as I did them. I knew getting married would cause problems for Helo, I never should have let him talk me into it."

Hoods. Oh she remembered them, if not their faces. Feeling kinship she thought she'd lost, Gina looked at Athena. If she got close to the humans she'd figure out who. Struggling to get her mind back to their conversation, she blurted out the first thing that came into her head. "Didn't they kill your daughter, let her die?"

"You need better sources. I was pre-eclamptic from the moment I found out about Helo." A glance revealed Gina's blank look. Pathetic. Cylons desperately wanted children, but paid no attention to anything beyond conception and embryos. Mother's with complications were disposable and caring for children once they were born never entered anyone's minds. Athena explained, "Eclampsia is a condition that can kill a mother and her baby. I was ordered on bed rest until the baby was born. It's how I ended up with the Old Man's couch. I know how hard Doc Cottle worked to save both of us."

Gina may not have given any thought to having children for years, but to have someone threaten to rip a child out of her body made her cringe. "You said they wanted to abort her. What makes you so sure?"

"Cottle wouldn't kill anyone. Roslin I'm not so sure, but I can understand her fearing anything we wanted so badly." Athena didn't mention how long it took her to get that. "They stopped because Hera's half Cylon stem cells could treat Roslin's cancer. I can't see her killing a child that saved her, not even a Cylon one. Eventually something about having the President of the Twelve Colonies ending up with Cylon cells in her body made me feel better."

Gina shook her head. "I still don't get you. You lost everything you came here for. How can you want to stay?"

They question was valid, but she suspected she knew the answer. She'd seen Racetrack and the others move between Athena and Tarkas. They accepted and protected her. Gina couldn't tell whether what happened today in the briefing room was a sign of acceptance or not. Racetrack had made an announcement. Gina's call sign would be 'Cracker' because she was so good at breaking necks. She had looked right at Tarkas when she said it. It was an unnerving reminder that Gina was the enemy yet some of the pilots had grinned and even laughed.

Athena's response went beyond expectation. "I didn't start out expecting that I could trust humans in general, just Helo and if I could prove myself, the Old Man. I wish I could trust my sisters, but you're right, you can't trust an Eight to stick to anything. Kara, Cottle, the Old Man and even Galen stuck by me and wouldn't let me give up. They kept reminding me I needed to live for my baby. I never understood death before. I don't think any Cylons do."

The raptor was back in its niche, but Athena wasn't making a move. She was staring blankly with tears running down her face. Gina had convinced herself that Athena, unlike herself, must have been able to keep some part of herself detached and unbroken. Or that she had never really felt that deeply. She'd been wrong.

Athena's hand was on Helo's tags. It still shocked her how memories of joy could cause such pain. And focusing on the purpose of her revelations did nothing to dull the pain of eidetically preserved memories of loss. "We don't understand what it's like to lose what you can never replace and keep on living." Athena resumed the training with a vengeance and Gina's stomach went to her throat. "When Hera died it was like my heart had been ripped out. I couldn't feel anything but rage. Kara talked me into helping her keep her promise to Sam and the resistance. The mission took me back to the beginning where I was first accepted by Helo, Kara and the others. I had no idea what I was going to do when I got there. I just had to go."

She had thought this was going to be all about what Gina needed to hear. It never occurred to her there were things she needed to say. "Calculating the jumps was like being a machine, emotionless and completely numb. It was perfect. When we got there we found out Sam, Kara's lover, had died that morning and Centurions were hunting down everyone left. We got pinned down. Starbuck made me promise to shoot her rather than let her be taken to the farms. When I realized she couldn't do the same for me I was terrified." Athena laughed bitterly. "I had to stay alive so I could kill her. Then I saw Cavil and I got it. The thought of resurrecting made me ill. When I die I want to see Helo and Hera, not live endlessly without them. I almost don't care if I enter the stream. I just don't want to outlive everyone I love."

Gina was shocked. Athena not only wanted true death, but was admitting it to another Cylon. "You stopped believing in God and resurrection?"

"No, I believe in the One True God. Just not everything else. I believe he made us all and we're all imperfect. He loves us anyway. We just condemn each other." Athena cut the stabilizers.

Gina couldn't agree. "We are much closer to perfection, we box the unstable so no one suffers, we have no murder or greed, no police."

Athena laughed derisively. "Don't forget no passion and no children. And what about the Three's and their follow my guidance or be boxed. That's policing. And between the attack on the colonies, torture on New Caprica and raping prisoners we sure as frak can't claim nonviolent superiority."

"Rape?" Gina choked on the word.

Athena couldn't keep the bitterness out of her voice, she was too angry about her own guilt and stupidity. "You missed the final plans of the Fours and your sisters, breeding farms. I kept thinking of you when Starbuck told me all about being in one. She found her friend in a room, unable to move. Sue Shaun begged Kara to kill her and all the women in it. That's what the resistance spent their last months on Caprica doing. Killing imprisoned women who were so violated they just wanted to die."

Gina blanched, this was beginning to feel like being in an irradiated nebula. "Fours are doctors. They believe suffering is wrong."

"Don't confuse them with Cottle, Gina. To Fours humans are lab animals. Suffering in the name of research is perfectly fine. They save lives and mend injuries to experiment, not because they care whether anyone lives or dies. The ones that do care probably get boxed for being unstable."

Athena had had a long time to think in her cell and relatively few devastating memories to avoid, not that she would wish seeing your child dead on anyone. Helo's death was a long slow devastation spread over time. They kept her from seeing his body. Frak, she needed to concentrate. How did she get back to Helo and Hera. Death. Boxing, that was it. Boxing and perfection, what a joke. "We care more about our stability than each other. Most of us don't even know when and why someone gets boxed. And none of us knows whether the boxed suffer because we never let them out. That's not love and it's not perfect. Every pilot in this fleet is willing to truly die so someone else can live. That's love and a lot closer to perfection than...indifference."

Gina had given way more thought to boxing than she ever wanted to admit. And it did scare her more than death; the threat of more time alone, away from everything and everyone, numb, blind and unresponsive. Would the lack of pain make it more tolerable, would she be aware at all? She was even scared of going back to her people without the threat of being boxed. She wasn't sure what intimidated her more, all that would remain the same or what had changed. What would it be like to see a reflection of who she used to be? As for love, there were so many times she wished she could only feel indifference. "They won't love us. They enslaved the centurions. Don't try to tell me most of them don't still see us as a mistake they need to get rid of any less than we do them. What makes you think humanity is more right than we are?"

Athena was ready for this one. "They created Centurions to be slaves because they weren't human. We took away their free will because they're not humanoid. They have no voice, no vote and no choice. I don't think that's what they fought and died for. They're still slaves, Gina."

"The centurions had inhibitors when we were brought on line." Gina was flustered. "You keep speaking what's forbidden."

Athens scoffed. "Of course it's forbidden. Centurions aren't the only ones with inhibited minds. We don't know who made us or why...and we can't ask. We have no idea why Centurions ended the first war and we're not allowed to ask. I do know the centurions didn't put those inhibitors in themselves. It's felgercarb, Gina."

Gina had assumed she'd considered every forbidden thought. Her mind had held nothing but forbidden thoughts on the _Pegasus_. But Athena had gone places she hadn't. Hearing those she had considered spoken aloud made her feel exposed. "How can you just talk about this?"

"It's what Helo used to do, question everything. He was the most ethical person I've ever met. I used to argue with him to be more practical and defensive. Now that he's not here, I ask what he would do, what he would think. Kara helps, she never respects anything just because someone told her to."

The cabin remained heavy with silence. Athena wanted to kick herself. She had thought so carefully about what to say, how to say it, and what not to say, but her own needs had taken over. The Old Man was going to kill her. She'd seen a Six in shock after resurrection. Gina had the same expression combined with an eerie stillness.

Gina felt nauseated and it had nothing to do with the raptor. Athena had stopped maneuvers. Gina couldn't pilot even without the challenges. Trying to calm herself, she instinctively clasped the hand that Mathias had held.

"Gina?"

"I'm not sure I can do this." Gina whispered.

"I not asking you to agree with me or fight Cylons or think anything; I'm only asking you to stop judging and killing humans." Athena felt more connected to Gina than she wanted to think possible. Part of her was terrified if they got close, she would be pulled away from all that she had come to be and love. The good times were so unbelievably amazing, but the bad so devastatingly dark. There was part her that was terrified she'd give up. After coming back from the Caprica mission she had started to hear Helo's voice as she woke, telling her she needed to stay alive. Not everyday but often enough. Love really was unquantifiable and inexplicable, she wasn't sure if what she heard was it's echo, or a part of it that existed beyond time and space. "We talk about love all the time. The only place I've ever felt it is here. Even a four fell in love with a human. It's the war we started that keeps turning it into agony."

Gina didn't speak or look at her. Athena made her voice as gentle as possible. "Sixes worship God as love and say you love all that God created. And you are so right. We just have to do what we say we believe. God doesn't make mistakes. We do."

Gina thought Sixes and Eights were so different. That her and Athena's experiences had set them even further apart. Yet there seemed to be few differences between them...and those that did exist were the least expected. Athena had kept her faith and remained constant. Gina's faith was twisted and shriveled. Her overriding emotions were fear and hate, She couldn't decide between killing and saving humans. She could see it but felt powerless against it. "Are you in love with Starbuck?"

Athena heard humility and the need for hope in Gina's voice. Athena was often floored by loving Kara. Crazy, impulsive and seemingly the polar opposite of Helo; Kara was every bit as fearless and stubborn as Helo when she let herself believe in something. For some reason Kara had started to believe in her. "Yeah, I love Kara Thrace. And I know she loves me."

Gina's voice barely carried across the raptor. "How?"

Athena felt a moment of relief, then realized how important her answer to this simple question might be. "I..., no," Athena shook her head and took a deep breath. "Something had clicked on Caprica. For a while it was all grief and angst, but we kept propping each other up. I told her about Cavil. She told me about...herself. We were numb, sometimes we just wallowed in it, sometimes we tried to force each other to feel. One day Kara jokingly bet that she could rock my world. I told her I had more stamina and could make her come until she passed out. We were both completely shocked it worked. It was like hitting the wall in training. When it seemed we would die from grief we pushed each other through to the other side. I can't imagine not being in love with her."

Sharing grief and pain, Gina had done that with Mathias, could that really be enough? "Do you want to marry her, like you did Helo?"

"Honestly, I get the feeling that if I marry her she'll start cheating compulsively. I couldn't hold it against her because she's Kara, so I never expected faithful." Truthfully, Kara was never one for sober self-revelation, so Athena couldn't be sure what had caused her change in behavior. Only that it had started after the destruction of the guardian's base ship. "She always calls Helo my husband... she says it's to remind herself that there is a very large man in Elysium who'll kick her ass if she breaks my heart. It's different, but it's love and it's wonderful."

Athena saw tears held in Gina's eyes. She'd never seen a Six cry. Gina's only movement was her right hand rubbing her left . "Are you injured?"

Gina looked confused.

"Your hand."

She stared at the extremity like it was a foreign object. "No, I'm..."

"Gina, are you going to be okay?" Athena looked anxiously at Gina.

Gina looked at her hand another moment. She smiled softly and turned, "I think I could be."

'

**""""""""""**

Admiral Adama watched Laura remove her headset. The President had insisted on listening to every word the Cylons spoke. It appeared she'd heard enough. "Let's get out of here."

As soon as the door to the Admiral's quarters closed she spoke. "Well, that was interesting."

Adama walked to the stand which served as his bar. "Yes it was."

"Sharon Agathon may kill us both if she finds out I heard that." Roslin said as she accepted a glass Adama had poured knowing she needed it.

He poured a drink for himself. "I wouldn't want to be around if Gina finds out either. Do you feel any better about this?"

"Yes, I feel better. Not that that's saying much, considering I wanted to beat you with a stick."

Smiling, Adama raised his glass to toast. "I'm glad bodily injury is off the table."

Laura gulped the water down. She probably had her mouth hanging open the whole time they were listening. _So much for presidential dignity._ "Are you sure no one's caught on?"

"She keeps her helmet on in the raptor. On deck she wears unflattering glasses and military issue clothes Dee insists were designed to make anyone look bad. Even the Chief didn't recognize her until she stood in front of him and started talking. Dee has confirmed that Sharon Agathon, a Cylon, is flying a raptor and training pilots for this mission. Try not to worry. "

Laura looked at the clock. "Damn it, Bill. I've got to go."

"Just try to avoid any more shocks today." Adama grinned.

Laura glared before shoving her glass into his chest. She pirouetted and grinned over her shoulder as she left.

The Admiral of the Fleet dutifully walked to the sink to wash the president's glass. He was setting it to dry when the emergency call came in.

"Bill, you better get back to CIC." Colonel Tigh grumbled into the phone. "Gods damned Sagittarons are causing a ruckus in the hangar bay. I'm going to head down there before someone gets shot."

**TBC..**


	11. Part 4: Killing God: Chapter 11

Go to part 1 for disclaimers & warnings

A/N Yes I finally got this revised. You know the drill. Review if you want to provide me with a boost of adrenaline. No, posting is not dependent on comments. But It does provide serious motivation to get this whole story up in decent form. Kore - Oct 2, 2011, thanks to rirenec for the helping me look for errors this time and Jetsly for help last time.

**Part Four: Killing God**

**Chapter 11**

Athena opened the hatch and heard Colonel Tigh's gravely voice barking out orders. She turned to Gina, "I better find out what's going on."

Gina donned her hat and glasses. From her elevated position on board the raptor, she searched the crowd. Athena came back saying civilians were bucking against orders.

"Mathias was supposed to meet me. Did you see her?"

"Sit tight." Athena approached two marines standing nearby and pointed them toward Gina.

The taller one spoke. "Sorry, Y'don't look like we thought ya would. We're your detail."

So much for promises. "Where's Gunny Mathias?"

"Gunny's in lifestations." Voices took the shape of a roar and he did a double take. The crowd pushed toward them. "Oh frak. Stay in the raptor." He called over his shoulder as both marines moved to hold back the crowd. "Shut the hatch."

Her disappointment turned to fear. A crushing weight bore down on her that she needed to move to get out from under. She shut the hatch from the outside, slipped past the marines and headed for lifestations.

**"""""""""**

Tarkas stood by his viper waiting for the bitch Seelix to finish with his bird. He was so sick of the little no one giving him attitude. He wished he had arrested her. He caught sight of the Old Man's pet Cylons. Athena walked away. He ignored her. He was transfixed by Gina. Seeing her standing confidently brought back everything...

_Gods he was sick of military women. Only the rush from flying made him want to frak one._ Whoa, Frakking A, civie tech to the rescue! Now there was a woman he could frak until she had to beg him to stop...

_On the_ Pegasus _objection meant death, not that he did. He fashioned himself as needed, a razor honed on the bleeding body beneath him. Thorne liked his gimmick, the hood, the blindfold. The power and respect made him hard like metal, but the edge was dulled. He failed and covered as best he could, stunning everyone with his brutality... _

_Relief and depravation, no risk of exposure or hope of triumph. Thorne and Cain were dead. Gina was gone... _

_Transferred to_ Galactica _only to be being scorned by frakking nuggets! He was academy trained, not some desperation jock. Everyone knew why men from the _Pegasus _were transferred; as if anything you did to a machine could be a crime. And the frakless wonders were proud of running. He wanted to beat their smug faces in; they had no frakking idea..._

_Running was bad, but hiding was worse. Anxious, useless, sleepless, nightmares and fights. He sat in the brig, while the frakking happy idiots poured down to the surface..._

_Great, damn pills ran out. Wouldn't need them if Tigh would stop riding his ass and listen... _

_Extended shore leave, he needed action, not a frakking break... _

_Finally, something to look forward to; the son of a bitch himself coming down as a frakless civilian. Looking for revenge, he spotted Tigh and the Cylon raiders at the same time... _

_She was frakking everywhere. He turned the corner and froze. They looked at him curiously. The one closest to him turned and smiled. He doubled over retching. A hand brushed his face. "Let me take you to a doctor." The voice. He looked up into 'Gina's' eyes._

Damn machine bitch! She sucked him in. Always having to look over his shoulder, being on 'the Bucket' was worse than before. He watched her leave the hangar bay.

He barely registered the clipboard slamming into his chest. Then Seelix spoke and he felt the hatred and contempt in Seelix's voice like a blow. "Didn't look at Sixes like that when you were their N.C.P. lapdog."

He Glared. "You don't know what the frak you're talking about!"

Seelix sneered and walked away. Tossing the clipboard at her retreating back, Tarkas took off after Gina. The pace of his footsteps quickened along with his rage.

**"""""""""**

Every glance felt like a stare. Voices whispered behind her. Turning a corner Gina flinched at the sight of endless photos of the dead. She put her head down. _Stay calm, walk steady, don't draw attention._ This was a stupid thing to do.

Almost there. Someone running behind her; she turned to face the wall, knowing people would look as the runner passed. A gun pressed against the back of her head.

"Well, look-e here. One of Adama's pets is running away. Should I put it down or back on it's leash." Tarkas leaned forward and lowered his voice. "I really liked you on a leash."

Gina recognized the fear tainted stench and connected it to his crimes. She became a blur of motion. Tarkas was disarmed; her hand tightened around his neck. Break it or shatter his scull against the wall? It's what any other Cylon would do, but she'd had other teachers, including him.

She pulled his shirt up to cover his head, pressed his face to the wall, and positioned the gun. "I remember everything you like." A quick jab, "And this won't go limp." The smell of urine and feces assaulted her nostrils. She was revolted... by him and herself. She fought for control. He was weak and pathetic, an animal. She wasn't. She unloaded the gun and pocketed the clip. She tossed the gun down the hall and sent Tarkas flying after it. She needed to find Mathias before he got back up. She hoped she'd get a chance to talk to Athena.

**"""""""""**

Lifestations was crowded with civilians. A group with black eyes and swollen features was huddled under marine guard. Looking opposite she spotted Mathias with her squad looking much like the civilians. Sitting in rows three to a bed, they were sulking and staring at their dangling feet. Relief, amusement, longing, fear and regret welled within Gina. She schooled her expression and stepped closer to Mathias than she would have dared to before. "Hey, you stood me up."

Mathias startled. "Gina?"

"So you do remember me." She had nothing to lose if they shot her so she took Mathias' hand, "You alright, Gunny?"

Gina's hand was trembling. Her eyes didn't match her smile. Mathias fought the desire to take Gina in her arms. She clutched the cot with her free hand to stay seated and wrapped Gina's hand in her own. She "I'm fine. Though I gotta say- for folk who call themselves pacifists- Sagittarons get pretty contrary when you try to tell them what to do."

Gina's smile became more genuine. She laced and locked their fingers. "I thought I'd trained you to handle contrary."

"Oh, you have." Mathias assured her. "We just got overconfident knowing no one could come close to your mastery of it."

Both women attempted to suppress their smiles. Gina burst out laughing, followed by Mathias. It was edgy, raw and completely uncontrollable.

Everyone paused to gape at the two women. Some smiled with them, some struggled with the discomfort of elusive recognition. Cottle was the only one who recognized Gina and felt at ease with the display. The marines under Mathias' command cursed under their breaths. Two secrets were being let out.

Marines took their cues from their Gunny so they didn't talk about it. Each had made assumptions about what Mathias and Gina got up to on other shifts. They weren't comfortable with the relationship. They were just more uncomfortable disrespecting their Gunny. Some of them would have ended up with broken necks without her. They had her back, though if Gina just disappeared most wouldn't mind.

Attention shifted as marines under Colonel Tigh's command swarmed into lifestations. They took aim at Gina.

"Whoa..." Mathias moved to insert herself between Gina and Tigh's unit.

Gina placed a hand on Mathias' back. "Don't. I know why they're here."

Mathias turned. Gina's eyes were full of sorrow.

"Stand aside Gunny." Tigh glared at Gina with his remaining eye. "You're under arrest for assault. Shackles!" Gina was roughly and quickly rendered helpless.

"You and your unit are relieved of brig duty until further notice, Gunny."

"Yes, Sir" The response was automatic, but Mathias' well schooled stoicism had crumbled. The emotion radiating from her was unmistakable. Rage. "Permission to speak freely, sir."

"Denied. She assaulted an officer. She's going back to the brig," Tigh sneered at Gina, "for now." He lowered his voice and turned to Mathias. "Get your head in the game before you loose your stripes, Gunny. Move out!"

Cottle didn't like the look of this. Saul Tigh was his friend, but that certainly didn't make him blind to the man's weaknesses or the fact that they'd been magnified since Ellen's death. Gina was doing damned well, the fact that she was being arrested for assault instead of murder proved it. He moved to the gunny's side. "Stay calm and think, Mathias." He waited for her usual restraint to return before adding, "You're all clear for duty."

Mathias ordered everyone but Fischer back to crowd control. "I'm going to speak to the admiral."

"Permission to speak freely?"

That was a first, Mathias nodded.

He lowered his voice. "You and Gina were fine when this was just in the brig. You're our Gunny and we respect you. But now a lot more people know Gina's your girlfriend. How far are you going to take this?"

Mathias' opened her mouth to deny Fischer's declaration, then shut it. What was she going to deny, Gina's feelings for her? She didn't even know them. She was done denying her own. Tigh and Cottle were right, she needed to get her head clear. She couldn't afford an obstructed view. "Gina has been my responsibility, I should be informed of the details of what she is being accused of. I also have to report on her actions. We've been splitting coverage, I want you to report anything that may be relevant to the investigation. That's all I'm asking of you. I care about her. And yes, they'll have to toss me in the brig to get her out an airlock, but I don't expect you to get tossed in there with me."


	12. Part 4: Killing God: Chapter 12

Go to part 1 for disclaimers & warnings revised Oct 2, 2011

**Part Four: Killing God**

**Chapter 12**

Gina lay with her face to the wall, thankful to be alone. If they airlocked her, it was unlikely she'd resurrect. Memories flooded her mind and for once, she didn't try to stop them. All the choices she'd made. Only one gave her the power to significantly alter the outcome, becoming an infiltrator.

Like all Sixes she had been driven by a fascination with all that is alive. She'd wanted to be engulfed in the fecundity of the twelve colonies. She anxiously awaited the day when Cylons claimed them for themselves. She had never conceived that her quest for life would lead to an overwhelming desire for death. Or that death would come only after that craving abated.

She couldn't have stopped the attack. She had just lived, secretly hoping for more time. She could admit it now. She had played it down the middle, given them a chance. They'd taken it and God let them live. She just had to keep Helena's hatred from negating it. An ambush, cripple the ship, get them to run again. That had to be what God wanted- or so she had told herself.

The truth was she had wanted Helena alive and unaware, at any cost. Killing Helena then would have destroyed her. Trying to spare her had destroyed them both. All that was between them seemed predestined to die in excruciating agony. Maybe that was all God had really wanted- for both of them to pay.

Rended beyond recognition, she had hated everyone, herself and God included. Her hatred of God was ironically what kept her alive. It was so blasphemous that she couldn't bring herself to face the stream. Her relationship with herself and others may have managed to improve; her relationship with God didn't.

Was this judgment for the past or deliverance from the future? Were her newfound desires and few days of freedom meant as a last revelation and reminder of what she'd squandered? Is this what God had been waiting for? She understood now. If not for Mathias, Cottle, Athena, Adama and even the guards who just refused to strike her, she'd still be as murderous and vengeful as Helena ever was. Maybe she always had been and would be again. She could feel it lurking; waiting like a cancer in remission.

A flurry of movement made Gina sit up. Admiral Adama was approaching her cell with four marines, including Mathias and Fischer. His eyes were cold and hard. An icy lump crawled up from Gina's stomach as sweat dripped down her forehead. She smiled wryly as she avoided looking at Mathias._ She would be at the airlock..._ Gina stood defiantly as they entered her cell.

"Tell me what happened." Adama said brusquely.

Gina's throat constricted. "Does it matter?"

"I want to hear your side of the story." His gaze bore into her, like at their first meeting.

Gina acquiesced. There was no reason to hold anything back.

Adama listened without interruption. "That matches the testimony of witnesses. You, the marines who let you slip by, and Tarkas have created a dilemma. I appreciate that you have demonstrated restraint when provoked and you do have the right to defend yourself. But that does not mean you can assault or threaten my people. Especially with the heinous crimes that were perpetrated against you. You cannot walk around this ship without an escort. You have to earn that right. For now it's not safe for you or anyone else. Do you understand?"

Gina stared in disbelief. She turned to Mathias for confirmation of what she thought she heard before nodding.

"Do I have your word that you will not threaten or attack any one?"

Gina's mouth remained agape. Either she stayed in control or she died. She could live with that. She silently indicated her acceptance.

It wasn't enough. "Do I have your word?" Adama asked again.

Gina croaked out a response. "Yes...you have my word."

"Good. Security is going to become more difficult until everyone is back on their ships and fed. From now on marines will stay close. If you are left alone for any reason, remain at your location. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Admiral." Gina did a poor, but earnest imitation of a military response.

Adama relaxed. "Good. It's agreed that you're up to speed with the raptor. Tomorrow will be a hard day. Get some rest. Any questions?"

Gina paused, debating. "I'm not trying to be a smart-ass, but what am I supposed to do about Tarkas?" She honestly didn't have any idea how to handle something like this. Cylons didn't act out of rage. And nobody would have dared to with Hel..._What the frak am I thinking?_

Adama watched Gina's inner struggle play across her face. It was no small miracle that Tarkas was still alive. He spoke sympathetically. "I need every pilot for this mission; stay as far away from him as possible and stick to your guards like glue."

He left the brig. Mathias grinned widely while Fischer assisted in removing the shackles. Gina remained standing like a dear in headlights. Mathias ordered Fischer out. "Gina? Six, are you okay?"

Gina continued to stare blindly, "I like it when you call me Six. You're the only one who says it like it's not a curse."

Mathias cautiously guided Gina toward the cot. "You're the last person I want to curse."

Gina halted. "I thought you were going to airlock me. That God finally wanted me to die."

Mathias was shocked by both statements, but found the second more disturbing. "You think the Cylon God wants you dead? Because you're helping us?"

"No, no, not that." Gina sat and looked down. "I've been waiting to resurrect or die for so long. It was always the plan. I felt cursed, as if God wouldn't let me. Today I finally felt that I might have something to live for. It just made sense I would die."

Mathias didn't believe in the Gods and had devoted as little thought to them as possible since the attacks, but she did understand the danger of believing in a jinx before a mission. She took Gina's hand. "Six, remember the problems with my old XO, I told you about. The ones that got me transferred to _Galactica_?"

Gina nodded, her hand limp in Mathias'.

"I wasn't upset about being dumped here because I saw it as a transition. I was finally going to follow through with my plans from before my Mom died. I just needed to keep my paycheck until Eoghan graduated," Mathias choked. "My family was so proud of me, but we failed and they died."

Gina looked at her.

"Assuming you're already dead is the best way to fight. But it was how I was living, no past, no future, just drudgery. You changed that for me. You got me to pay attention to something other than my own pain."

Gina tried for levity, but her voice came out bitter, "Meeting a suicidal Cylon who wanted to kill you made you better, no wonder we get along."

"It wasn't your pain and anger, it was that you survived it. You recovered from something that could have left your mind in tiny pieces. I'm in awe of you, Gina."

Gina looked at her like she was insane.

Mathias continued in earnest. "I was on the ferry halfway to Hades. You broke through the haze that would have gotten me killed. _You ending up on this ship may be the luckiest thing that's ever happened to me."_

_Oh God, anything but that._ Helena's words. Bile coated her throat. She latched on to the bitterness and spat. "I am not good luck."

_Frak. _Hushed and urgent Mathias pleaded, "Six, I care about you and I know it's selfish to be glad you're here, but I promise: I will stand by you, I will protect you."

Gina looked angrier. "You shouldn't, Mathias. I kill what I love. Humans. Resurrection ships full of Cylons, Centurions, worlds full of forests...Helena. I've betrayed and been betrayed by everyone. And I don't know how to stop."

Mathias tightened her grip. "That's the past. You've made different choices since you've been here. And according to regs, Admiral Cain should have shot herself."

A ghost of a smile flashed and disappeared. "Cylons remember everything, Mathias. I think it's the biggest difference between us. There's no haze or distortion...it doesn't matter whether I could think or move, I remember every second." Gina brought up her legs and wrapped her arms around them. "I...loved and hated the same person; both feelings still make perfect sense...now nothing does. You're everything I should hate and the person I trust the most. I love that you trust me, and it terrifies me. I'm scared of what I might do _and_ what will happen if I try to do anything." Gina curled more tightly into a ball. "I don't have a plan and I can't make one."

Mathias reached out to sooth Gina, gently stroking her cheek. When Gina leaned into the touch, she tentatively moved closer. Gina slowly uncurled as Mathias kneaded tense muscles. Gina leaned her head back and the her body followed. It felt more than right to be this close to Gina. When Gina rested against her, Mathias spoke.

"My Dad used to say if you want to make the Gods laugh, tell them your plans," she pressed her lips to the side of Gina's head, "but if you want to impress them, follow your dreams."

Gina pulled away and quirked an eyebrow.

"Not those dreams." Mathias brushed a strand of hair away from Gina's eyes. "Six, what do you want for yourself?"

Herself. Cylons weren't supposed to think of themselves. She wasn't even sure they were supposed to be themselves. Yet she'd been gone so long with no one but herself. "I want to be safe, I want peace. I want something I can believe in. And I want you."

Mathias' heart seemed to open and break at the same time. "Do you trust me?"

"More than any one else." Gina looked apologetic. They both knew that wasn't saying much.

Mathias took hold of both of Gina's hands, and drew in a breath to speak; but looked down with out saying anything. Gina's thumbs moved in a circular caress until Mathias looked up and asked,"Do you think you could love me?"

"I'd have to be an idiot not to love you." Gina replied dryly.

Mathias resisted the urge to laugh. "Then Gina, please, fight to stay here, with me."

Gina's tone became even more arid. "We're in the brig, Mathias."

Mathias gave in; Gina had a nasty habit of going from scaring her shitless to making her laugh. "Well it does have advantages over a rack in a crowded room." Mathias leaned back on the cot and stretched. "Like maneuverability."

"You're presumptuous." Gina smirked.

Erin grinned widely. "Hey, I'm allowed to dream."

Gina's eyebrows went halfway up her forehead. "Just make sure I'm on top, Mathias."

The copper in Mathias' hair was washed out by the redness blooming on her face. She did her best to appear deadly serious. "There is one thing I _really_ need from you, Gina...Please...call me Erin."

"Erin?" The name barely made it past Gina's lips.

"Try not to choke. There are situations in which I absolutely do not want you to call me Mathias or Gunny." Erin blushed an even deeper red.

Gina felt a familiar rush. Successful seduction. Disturbed, she broke contact. She wasn't the only one who needed protection. She stood up to mask her distress. Turning her back, she spoke jovially. "Well all I can dream of right now is getting out of this flight suit."

Mathias got up and took a step back. "I should leave before you do that."

"What about your dreams..._Erin_?" Gina asked with syrupy sweetness.

Mathias leaned closer. "They don't include Fischer peering through the glass. You did ask for curtains, right?"

Gina couldn't keep her distance. She looked Erin in the eye and spoke to God. Please don't let me hurt her. Cupping Erin's cheek, she moved in slowly until their lips met. Hesitant, then gently probing, the kiss lasted just long enough for each to confirm what they needed to know.

Erin wished Gina sweet dreams, then stepped out to make sure the now overabundant guards turned their backs and kept their eyes off the monitor. Gina stripped off her flight suit and crawled under the sheets. Flight training and emotional upheaval took a welcome toll. For once, being behind bars didn't keep her awake for a second.


	13. Part 4: Killing God: Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Own nothing. Get nothing, except the extremely rare review. But since reviews feed the soul it's all good. (hint)

**Part Four: Killing God**

**Chapter 13**

_Gina walked through the basestar intent on an elusive destination. She was comforted by her sisters' chatter, but it was not what she craved. Afraid she'd miss a path through the trees, she remained surrounded by endless grey with a blood red stripe. At last, the door she was looking for and within, Erin Mathias. The walls became a primeval forest in stark contrast to the Cylon cell. "Erin, it's me, Gina." She opened the door finding it ironic she could not be Six here. As Gina entered, the walls of a rustic cabin replaced the bars. They matched Helena's description perfectly. "Erin, look at me," she pleaded with the silent figure. Erin's eyes, cold as Cavil's, bore into her as Erin voiced a sarcastic question, "Are you alive?" A red dot appeared on her forehead. "No!" Gina screamed as Erin's skull shattered. Gina turned to a naked sister holding the gun. "Why?" The Six turned her back, revealing her scars. A deafening clank reverberated through Gina's bones as the cabin and forest disappeared. Locked in, she was surrounded by a sea of sisters and brothers. All stared with harsh __judgment__ before descending darkness swallowed them. Alone, Gina's scream echoed in the void._

"Six, wake up! Are you alright?"

Gina bolted upright.

"That was the worst scream I've heard come out of you in a while." Erin spoke softly, her eyes full of concern.

Gina focused on her to settle her breathing. Seeing Erin behind the bars of her cell did not produce the desired effect. "Gotta figure out how the Ones stopped sleeping."

"What?" Mathias let her gun hang from its harness. She kneeled and took Gina's hand. "Just breathe, you're safe."

God, she wanted to just grab her and run, but they had no place to go. "I'm...I love you." Gina said gently stroking her cheek. "What time is it?"

"Time to get up and show off your flying skills." Erin stood and pulled Gina up with her.

"At least I slept through the night." Gina gave Erin a thorough kiss and let her go.

""""""""""

Gina and her escort headed straight to her raptor. Unlike before, many on deck paused in their work as she passed. She ignored them. She just wanted to enjoy having Erin at her side. They arrived at the vessel to find two deckhands shuffling nervously. The big one Pullo, had introduced himself when she first started training. He'd told her the silent one's name was Livius.

"All clear?" Gina asked in her most pleasant voice.

"Yup, all checked and fueled," Pullo replied.

"Good." Gina walked slowly around the Raptor rechecking. Given how everyone was reacting to her she wasn't about to shirk her responsibility. It also bought time to prepare and focus. The marines stayed out of her way while the deckhands chatted. As Gina squatted down to check a small hatch, she heard a whisper: "...with her hand around his throat."

"Is that what happened to his eye." Asked an unfamiliar high pitched voice.

"That's what he's saying, but 'tween you and me, someone sucker punched him for shooting his mouth off again." Pullo stated with confidence.

"She really had him off the floor?" Livius squeaked.

"And tossed him like a rag doll...one hand," Pullo insisted, then mused. "Maybe we could start an arm wrestling team and get her to join."

"Uh, I dunno." Livius' voice had returned to what she assumed was it's normal pitch.

"Wonder if she can drink as much as Athena?" Pullo actually sounded excited.

They finished the conversation with a series of grunts exchanged like language. They really were knuckle-draggers. She wondered if Cylon ship techs acted the same. There was a Six pilot that had begun to act like Starbuck, complete with strut and attitude. Relieved not to hear hostility, she finished her inspection and joined them. Pullo handed her a dosimeter and said good luck. Gina looked at her marines. "If some of you want to join me for the ride...?"

They stepped back in unison.

"All stations! This is the Admiral, I am glad to have all of you on board. The Galactica will make several trips through the star cluster and back. The first will be to drop off a viper wing and an emergency medical vessel. There will be turbulence, but nothing the _Galactica_ can't handle. We are now ready for the first jump to the algae planet."

The outburst of cheering was deafening. The humans were patting each other's backs and slapping hands in the air. Something hit Gina, she spun ready to fight. Pullo jumped back, his hands raised in surrender. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I just..." Gina realized he had clapped her on the shoulder.

"I... my mistake... I'm just not used to being touched by anything but a fist or swinging wrench." She thought she was being funny, but the deckhand looked even more upset. She turned to Mathias with a pleading look.

"Don't worry about Gina, she leaves all the fighting to her guards, whom she trusts implicitly to protect her."

Gina managed to smirk and blush at the same time. "I stopped before I swung."

"And we and Doc Cottle are thankful. Plastic surgery isn't his specialty and we all want to stay pretty." Erin spoke as if providing an explanation to a child.

"He put my face back together, are you saying I'm not pretty." Gina replied petulantly.

"Your beauty is stunning, but some of us don't have much to start with and can't afford to lose any." Erin pointed to herself.

"You're stunning to me." Gina's eyes raked over Erin, "though you'd be better without the uniform."

Mathias could only blush. She leaned forward and whispered. "I think you might manage that, but not in the hangar bay."

Fischer cleared his throat loudly. Both women jumped.

Gina recovered first. "I need to check inside the bird. Don't want to get airlocked for being late."

"Good luck. And don't forget your dreams." Gina's breath caught and Erin felt like kicking her own ass across the deck. She tried to mitigate the obvious damage. "I'll be waiting and ready to lose the uniform on request."

Gina smiled, but couldn't stop the images coursing through her mind. She ran through every system aft and forward then strapped herself in. Sisters, brothers, prison cells and death swirled continuously.

"Raptor 626. _Galactica_. Report." The voice of flight control cut through.

"Cracker. Raptor 626. Engines hot and ready."

"Take off in 30. Mark."

"Roger counting down."

The marines and deckhands watched the raptor take off.

"All right. Break until she's back." Mathias ordered and brusquely withdrew.

The gossip loving deckhands' mouths hung open. Pullo pointed in the direction of the departing ship while his eyes trailed Mathias. "Holy frak, did you see..."

"You saw nothing."

The two deckhands felt the menacing glares of the three marines down to their bones. Livius quaked, but Pullo grinned widely as soon as the Marines turned their backs.


	14. Part 4: Killing God: Chapter 14

Go to part 1 for disclaimers & warnings revised Oct 2, 2011

**Part Four: Killing God**

**Chapter 13**

_Gina walked through the basestar intent on an elusive destination. She was comforted by her sisters' chatter, but it was not what she craved. Afraid she'd miss a path through the trees, she remained surrounded by endless grey with a blood red stripe. At last, the door she was looking for and within, Erin Mathias. The walls became a primeval forest in stark contrast to the Cylon cell. "Erin, it's me, Gina." She opened the cell door finding it ironic she could not be Six here. As she entered, the walls of a rustic cabin replaced the bars. They matched Helena's description perfectly. "Erin, look at me," she pleaded with the silent figure. Erin's eyes, cold as Cavil's, bore into her as Erin voiced a sarcastic question, "Are you alive?" A red dot appeared on her forehead. "No!" Gina screamed as Erin's skull shattered. Gina turned to a naked sister holding the gun. "Why?" The Six turned her back, revealing her scars. A deafening clank reverberated through Gina's bones as the cabin and forest disappeared. Locked in, she was surrounded by a sea of sisters and brothers. All stared with harsh judgment before descending darkness swallowed them. Alone, Gina's scream echoed in the void._

"Six, wake up! Are you alright?"

Gina bolted upright.

"That was the worst scream I've heard come out of you in a while." Erin spoke softly, her eyes full of concern.

Gina focused on Erin to settle her breathing. Seeing her behind the bars of her cell did not produce the desired effect. "Gotta figure out how the Ones stopped sleeping."

"What?" Mathias let her gun hang from its harness. She kneeled and took Gina's hand. "Just breathe, you're safe."

God, she wanted to grab Erin and run, but they had no place to go. "I'm...I love you." Gina said gently stroking her cheek. "What time is it?"

"Time to get up and show off your flying skills." Erin stood and pulled Gina up with her.

"At least I slept through the night." Gina gave Erin a thorough kiss and let her go.

**"""""""""**

Gina and her escort headed straight to her raptor. Unlike before, many on deck paused in their work as she passed. She ignored them. She just wanted to enjoy having Erin at her side. They arrived at the vessel to find two deckhands shuffling nervously. The big one Pullo, had introduced himself when she first started training and told her the small silent one's name was Livius.

"All clear?" Gina asked in her most pleasant voice.

"Yup, all checked and fueled," Pullo replied.

"Good." Gina walked slowly around the Raptor rechecking. Given how everyone was reacting to her she wasn't about to shirk her responsibility. It also bought time to prepare and focus. The marines stayed out of her way while the deckhands chatted. As Gina squatted down to check a small hatch, she heard a whisper: "...with her hand around his throat."

"Is that what happened to his eye." Asked an unfamiliar high pitched voice.

"That's what he's saying, but 'tween you and me, someone sucker punched him for shooting his mouth off." Pullo stated with confidence.

"She really had him off the floor?" Livius squeaked.

"And tossed him like a rag doll...one hand," Pullo insisted, then mused. "Maybe we could start an arm wrestling team and get her to join."

"Uh, I dunno." Livius' voice had returned to what she assumed was it's normal pitch.

"Wonder if she can drink as much as Athena?" Pullo actually sounded excited.

They finished the conversation with a series of grunts exchanged like language. They really were knuckle-draggers. She wondered if Cylon ship techs acted the same. There was a Six pilot that had begun to act like Starbuck, complete with strut and attitude. Relieved by the lack hostility, she finished her inspection and joined them. Pullo handed her a dosimeter and said good luck. Gina looked at her marines. "If some of you want to join me for the ride...?"

They stepped back in unison.

"All stations! This is the Admiral, I am glad to have all of you on board. The _Galactica_ will make several trips through the star cluster and back. The first will be to drop off a viper wing and an emergency medical vessel. There will be turbulence, but nothing the _Galactica_ can't handle. We are now ready for the first jump to the algae planet."

The outburst of cheering was deafening. The humans were patting each other's backs and slapping hands in the air. Something hit Gina, she spun ready to fight. Pullo jumped back, his hands raised in surrender. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I just..." Gina realized he had clapped her on the shoulder.

"I... my mistake... I'm just not used to being touched by anything but a fist or swinging wrench." She thought she was being funny, but the deckhand looked even more upset. She turned to Mathias with a pleading look.

"Don't worry about Gina, she leaves all the fighting to her guards, whom she trusts implicitly to protect her."

Gina managed to smirk and blush at the same time. "I stopped before I swung."

"And we and Doc Cottle are thankful. Plastic surgery isn't his specialty and we all want to stay pretty." Erin spoke as if providing an explanation to a child.

"He put my face back together, are you saying I'm not pretty?" Gina asked petulantly.

"Your beauty is stunning, but some of us don't have much to start with and can't afford to lose any." Erin pointed to herself.

"You're stunning to me." Gina's eyes raked over Erin, "though you'd be better without the uniform."

Mathias could only blush. With her head down she leaned forward and whispered. "I think you might manage that, but not in the hangar bay."

Fischer cleared his throat loudly. Both women jumped.

Gina smirked.. "I need to check inside the bird. Don't want to get airlocked for being late."

"Good luck. And don't forget your dreams." Gina's breath caught and Erin felt like kicking her own ass across the deck. She tried to mitigate the damage. "I'll be waiting and ready to lose the uniform on request."

Gina smiled, but couldn't stop the images coursing through her mind. She ran through every system aft and forward then strapped herself in. Sisters, brothers, prison cells and death swirled continuously.

"Raptor 626. _Galactica_. Report." The voice of flight control cut through.

"Cracker. Raptor 626. Engines hot and ready."

"Take off in 30. Mark."

"Roger counting down."

The marines and deckhands watched the raptor take off.

"All right. Break until she's back." Mathias ordered and brusquely withdrew.

The deckhands' mouths hung open. Pullo pointed in the direction of the departing ship while his eyes trailed Mathias. "Holy frak, did you see..."

"You saw nothing."

The two deckhands felt the menacing glares of the three marines down to their bones. Livius quaked, but Pullo grinned widely as the Marines turned their backs.

TBC... Review anonymously if you need to, I'd like to know your thoughts on the fic


	15. Part 5: Killing Humans: Chapter 15

**Disclaimers and credits and warnings: **see chapter one.

This is a revised chapter. 0ct. 2011.

**'**

**Part Five: Killing Humans**

**Chapter 15**

When her dosimeter had gone black she hadn't bothered to change it. Cottle had told her she needed to get tested between tours after it became opaque. He just didn't know enough about Cylon radiation tolerances to guess when she'd be in trouble. The results were ready when she flew back. Since she was sent back out as soon as her raptor cleared maintenance, it was a welcome reprieve. She'd heard the deckhands betting on who would give out first, her or the raptor.

As she climbed out of the raptor swimming in her own sweat, Gina yelled out to Pullo- the arm-wrestling and apparently gambling addicted crewman- that the bird seemed sluggish. He smiled and pointed out that she'd landed perfectly. She hadn't noticed. Maybe she was the sluggish one. The decontamination shower didn't do much to revive her. She forced fluids into her uncooperative body until her stomach lurched, then looked for the medic who had been testing her. She found her greatest hope and fear instead.

"Hi. How are you feeling?" Erin asked.

Gina felt like screaming. Seeing Erin filled her with the desire to live and regret that she couldn't. Awake and alert again, she resisted the urge to explain. "I've felt worse... though I doubt anyone who hasn't been tortured would say the same. Have you seen the medic who likes to stab me?"

"He's back in lifestations. _Galactica's_ last trip to pick up irradiated pilots seems to have irradiated everyone else. Cottle said to take you to lifestations so he can stab you himself. I brought clothes. Just leave the jock smock in decon."

Gina panicked. "Am I being pulled?"

Erin became very still. "It's safer if you change, everyone's gawking at pilots."

Her gunny mask had fallen into place. Gina had been right about one thing. She couldn't make a plan. When her zipper snagged she almost ripped it out of the suit.

Mathias took her arm. "We're going to walk to lifestations like two friends chatting about a secret. And you're going to tell me what that secret is."

Gina could feel her heart seem to tear. "I dreamt I shot you in the head last night."

Erin pulled her closer. "That's not going to happen. What are you planning, Gina?"

She struggled to find another oblique response. "I'm not going to hurt anyone."

"Is the Cylon fleet near?" Erin asked.

"I don't have any idea where the fleet is." Gina breathed easier, thankful that Erin had moved away from the crux of her dilemma.

"So you're not going to attack us or join the Cylon fleet." Erin's voice hardened. "That just leaves you."

Damn her. Despite the futility of trying to hide, Gina looked away. Erin's grip tightened and Gina found herself being pulled into an bunk room.

"Everybody out." Mathias ordered.

Startled crewmen looked from Mathias to Gina and bolted from the room. Mathias spun the hatch closed before turning back to her captive.

"Gina, I understand if you don't feel the way I do. I will never pressure you, but if you kill yourself it's going to rip my frakking heart out." Rage warred with anguish. "Damn it Gina, why the frak do you still want to die?"

Every muscle taunt, Gina yelled back. "You've seen me lose it, Mathias! They frakking call you whenever I lose it. Do you really think I can't kill you; that someone else won't kill you for protecting me?"

"I don't give a rat's ass." Mathias growled and spun before facing Gina again. "Don't you get it? We could all die, anytime. I want to be happy while I'm still breathing. You make me happy. And you make me feel more alive than anything else in this godsdamned frakking fleet. Don't you dare take that away from me!"

Gina stopped breathing. She collapsed back against a table. Mathias was terrified Gina would die. Erin Mathias loved her. She could feel it in every cell of her body, punching through rocks of fear and pain. Unmoored, they shifted and scrambled, trying to find purchase. As Gina held Erin's gaze, they crumbled. "I won't."

Erin stepped closer. "Promise me you'll come back." .

Shards of hopelessness were blown as her plan imploded, leaving Gina feeling defused and weightless. "I promise. I'll come back."

Erin searched her face. Sadness tinged her eyes even as relief relaxed her body. "Thank you."

Wanting to wipe away all the pain she had caused. Gina kissed her with a gentleness she had forgotten she possessed. They stood with their foreheads resting against each other until Erin spoke, "We need to go before someone comes looking for us."

'

**"""""""""**

Unable to find Cottle in the sea of faces, Erin called out to Ishay. She pointed to the quarantine area. Gina and Erin heard the low heated voices before seeing Lee Adama with Cottle. As Gina entered, Lee tried to stand straight only to wobble. She ignored him.

"Hi Doc."

"Hello Gina, I wish I could say you're looking good, but you're not. Your test results show that the radiation is getting to you."

Lee glared at him. There were too few pilots on this side and only blackened badges on the other. Lee didn't trust her, but you couldn't fly if you were puking in your helmet. "Miss Inviere, since one of the pilots can't rotate due to vision problems we need you to make another run."

So much for feeling light and airy. At least the Major had the sense not to mention his name or maybe he was too sick to remember it. So smug and accusing; she did not punch that asshole and it was a good thing she didn't have the energy to hit this one. "Are you asking me to risk death? Aren't you afraid I might download? I wouldn't mind getting a nice big meal."

Cottle interrupted before someone started swinging. He wasn't afraid they would hurt each other, but could see them hurting themselves and the equipment when they swung and missed. "Gina, you're doing better than most. Make this trip one way only and you'll be fine. Just don't think of yourself as an indestructible Cylon. You' re not."

'

**"""""""""**

Gina lined up her raptor with the _McConnell_. It was a deceptive, rag-tag looking ship that reminded her of the ones the Cylons hired to smuggle them into the colonies. Reinforced cargo with top engines that just happened to be well armed.

"Cracker, _Galactica_; jump when ready."

"Copy," she replied. "_McConnell_, this is Cracker. Sending you jump-coordinates." No response. "_McCon_—"

"Copy. Re-checking the coordinates," the operator from the _McConnell_ stated briskly.

Frustrated, Gina tried to relax, her back was throbbing. _Damned paranoid idiot._ She needed to get this over with. Two minutes and still no answer. Gina activated the comm. "_McConnell_, I'm gonna take a nap. Let me know when you're done counting on your fingers."

"No need to be rude, raptor," the operator huffed.

"_McConnell_. _Galactica_. Are your FTL problems solved?"

"_Galactica. McConnell_. We're fine, ready to jump."

"_McConnell_. Cracker. On my mark. Three, two, one. Mark!"

Admiral Adama watched Kat jump out as soon as Gina's jump window ended. One more left, he called in the CAP. This would be her last chance to attack or run and she knew it. Though the radiation and tides would be brutal, _Galactica_ did have a two jump solution through the cluster. He hoped to get ahead of Gina.

'

**"""""""""**

Gina had stayed with the _McConnell_ through the jumps. One set of coordinates and the final jump out were all that stood between her and a bed she might actually be able to drag Erin in to. The navigator continued to sound like he was spitting tacks through the comm. Gina figured if he was foolish enough to be hostile to his lifeline than he wasn't worth the energy it took to snap back.

"_McConnell_, Cracker. Sending jump coordinates..."

As soon as the coordinates were relayed a familiar alarm sounded, "_McConnell_ on my mark"

"Negative, Break portside!"

The bleeping got louder. She forced the ship into a tight turn to evade. She couldn't see them. The fleet was either under attack or they were picking off ships before a final assault. Gina broke the lock. When the missile exploded harmlessly it dawned on her that she could go home...she felt a punch to her gut.

She'd been asking the wrong questions. It didn't matter if they accepted her. She wanted unrestrained passion and uncensored thought. She had proven her own redemption was possible. She would not accept their judgment. She rejected them.

Gina caught a glimpse of a vessel. Definitely not Cylon. "_McConnell!_ You have the only weapons. Ready jump!"

"Roger. We see you."

The _McConnell _dropped behind. The alarm sounded. This time a constant tone.

"What the frak?"

"Time to die, skin job."

An ear piercing wail. Gina hit a green button. With a loud thump flares launched and hurtled away. She pulled up hard on the throttle, using all of her Cylon strength to force the vessel to its limits. She waited for impact. A blast flung the raptor aside as the safety harness cut painfully into her shoulders. She swallowed back vomit, but could do nothing about the pain exploding in her head. Regaining her bearings there was a moment of silence before her console began to beep with a fresh warning.

Determination mingled with rage. She had no decoys and damn little time. She spun and aimed the nose of the raptor down the _McConnell_'s throat. Getting too close to target, she snarled through clenched teeth, "Forgetting something?"

"We don't make it, the next ship's got a distress call 'bout you, toaster."

"Toasters like radiation ass wipe. I can dock, walk over your dead bodies and jump back with your black box. You've got seconds."

"Frak you!" Ineffective missiles launched and the _McConnell_ was gone. Raptor 626 was left spinning in the jump wave.

'

**"""""""""**

A DRADIS signal caught everyone's attention.

"Sir! _McConnell_ confirmed. No raptor." Lieutenant Gaeta exclaimed.

"_McConnell_. _Galactica_ Actual. Where's your escort."

"Don't know, it jumped without us."

Adama frowned. "How'd you make the jump, _McConnell_?"

"Oh we got tougher systems than you'd think, practically military." The man proudly informed the admiral.

That was news. "_McConnell_. Actual. What was Cracker's last communication?"

"She didn't say anything, just jumped away." The response came quickly.

Adama voice revealed only curiosity. "You weren't given coordinates?"

There was a pause. "Uh, yeah we got those."

Another blip appeared on DRADIS. "_Galactica_, Raptor 626. Cracker reporting in."

"Confirmed." Gaeta spoke.

"Secure the channel, Lieutenant." Adama told Gaeta. "Cracker, This is Actual. We heard you got lost."

Gina's bitter voice came over the wireless. "Actual, permission to dock on the _McConnell_. They want me to burn something for them."

Tigh frowned and checked the position of the CAP on DRADIS.

"Permission denied, Cracker. Dock at _Galactica_." Adama could see his desire to integrate Gina going up in smoke.

"If you insist." Gina cut the line.

"She is coming in, sir." Gaeta reported. "Kat and the _Fara Sadin_ are overdue."

"Understood, Lieutenant."

Roslin hung up the phone in exasperation, she'd been talking to Tory. Adama didn't have much comfort to offer. "It looks like we might both be eating crow."

Roslin smiled and whispered harsh words through clenched teeth. "As long as the press doesn't catch us doing it." She turned to speak into Adama's shoulder. "Restless vultures."

"Dradis contact. Red Devil and _Monarch_ reporting in." Gaeta was unable to keep the disappointment from his voice. The arrival of the last ships out should have been joyful. It only emphasized Kat's absence.

Knowing the probability was slim Adama asked, "Red Devil, _Galactica_ Actual. Did you have any contact with Kat or the _Faru Sadin_?"

"Negative. Actual."

The ticks and clicks of throwback analogue controls were the only sounds in the CIC.

"Dradis contact, It's Kat and the _Faru Sadin_." Breathless with guarded relief, Gaeta refused to look at the clock.

"Good work everyone." Adama spoke confidently, masking his concern before turning to Tigh and Roslin to reveal it quietly. "I'm heading to the Hangar bay." He returned to his command voice. "Colonel Tigh, you have the bridge. Lt Dualla, join me."

Tigh took charge. "Look alive, people. We still have civilians to get off this ship and algae to collect. Then we can start the Gods' damned food processors and eat. Get me medical reports on the pilots. I want to know who's still flying." 

TBC... this time for real.


	16. Part 5: Killing Humans: Chapter 16

**Disclaimers and credits: **see chapter one. Warnings: **confrontations with a rapists. **And my villain has a mouth on him.

'

**Author's note: **So I fell down this hole and my neighbor's dog ate my paper after the cat peed on my computer. Uh, yeah I suck - at lying among other things. There are revisions since I last posted a new chapter in the distant past. Most revolve around a new scene in chapter three. Others are just the result of rereading something I wrote many moons ago. Hopefully they are all improvements. Feel free to bitch if this proves not to be true.

'

**Part Five: Killing Humans**

**Chapter 16**

Anastasia "Dee" Dualla loved the Old Man. She loved the Old Man's son. Right now she felt like both of them were completely insane. The growing distance between her and her husband wasn't a surprise. The situation might still bring them close, if she could listen to more tirades about Starbuck and Athena without saying something Lee didn't want to hear. The Old Man on the other hand was a shock. She thought trusting Athena was the most disturbing thing he could have done. She was wrong. Letting Gina out was.

She stood before the press and Quorum. The president had gotten off Colonial One as soon as it arrived and hadn't been back since. Between a Cylon prisoner being 'given the keys' to a raptor and Roslin living in Adama's quarters, there was too much none of them was supposed to know. Adama had sent her to back up Tory. She was trying to feel honored rather than betrayed by the trust he put in her.

"Are you detaining us?" Playa challenged.

"No, we are asking for your cooperation. Everyone's movements are restricted and further limited by the availability of marine escorts. With overcrowding and the time it will take to collect and distribute the algae, tensions are high. You are all recognizable and could easily become the focus of a mob seeking answers you do not have. Everyone will be safer if you continue to remain on this ship. Be warned, inciting violence or otherwise causing a disruption to ship's operations will result in charges being levied against you." She looked every member of the press in the eye. She did not meet those of the Quorum.

**"""""""""**

The raptor skidded to a halt after another hard landing. Gina closed her eyes and slumped in her seat. It was over. She needed to control her rage. Think of Erin. But it wasn't just Erin. She was with all of humanity. Their crimes against her were no longer part of a 'past life'. Given how many people were supposed to be aware of her stint as a raptor jock, the number willing to risk their lives to end hers was disturbing. She felt doubt, like some carnivorous vine creeping and constricting. God, she thought Eights waffled. She was a mess. A loud knock tore her from her thoughts.

Pullo made an okay sign and then lifted both hands in question. He, at least, seemed to want to be her friend. He had offered to bring homemade hooch to the brig, if she made her last landing without taking off a wing. She gave him a thumbs up and looked down. He squatted to catch her eye again. He pointed to her dosimeter and motioned toward the decon facilities. The worried look on his face got Gina to move.

Pullo returned to his inspection of the vessel. He was going to be hammering out the undercarriage for the foreseeable future. He didn't care. Nothing had broken off the ship. Gina had returned without losing a ship after nailing a landing. That made him the sole winner of the betting pool.

**""""""""""**

Gina opened the hatch and hopped down to a waiting medic in a radiation suit. "We need to get you to the decon-area," he pointed to where pilots were strewn around the plastic curtains trying find the energy to leave. "I'm here to lean on, if your anything like the rest, you'll need it."

Gina grimaced and brushed a hand through her hair checking for loose wisps. Not to finding any, she let out a sigh of relief. The star cluster could make a raider doubt it's radiation tolerance.

At the decon-area Gina looked around. She had to strip nude, which didn't bother her and be scrubbed by crewmen, which did. A suited figure stepped in front of her. Gina took a breath ready to spit out a sarcastic remark before she recognized the face smiling at her through the visor. Relieved and elated, Gina smiled back.

"Hi, heard you had some trouble out there. You alright?"

Unsure of the answer Gina avoided the question. "Was there a ship-wide announcement?" _Don't take it out on Erin._ She did want to talk to her, just not with so many people around. "Sorry, can I answer that after I get cleaned up?"

Erin frowned. When a crewman stepped forward to help Gina out of her flight suit, Erin tapped the man on the shoulder. "I'll handle this."

Erin carefully helped remove her clothes until she stood barefoot in her underwear. Gina struggled to relax. She wasn't shy, but having so many humans in close proximity created a low level of panic that even Erin's presence couldn't mitigate. Shivering more from discomfort than cold. She clasped her hands under her chin, providing an illusion of modesty she didn't possess. She watched Erin walk away, aching to call her back.

"Hey! We haven't got all day," a medic yelled. With a last glance at Erin, Gina went to the medic.

**""""""""**

Erin looked over Gina's body. She was slender, on the edge of being gaunt with impossibly long legs. The sight of her shifting from foot to foot made Erin want to pull Gina into her arms and hold her until she felt safe and warm. She forced herself to take the uniform to the decontamination bin instead.

Erin remained entranced, despite flash of anger at the sight of the deep etched scares that marred Gina's back. Her every movement contained uncommon grace. Erin imagined trailing her fingers down Gina's spine, until her hands reached the curves of her ass. Gina's breasts became visible and she wanted caress them. Gina tilted her head and all Mathias could think of was tasting her neck. Wresting her eyes away she saw deckhands, medics and pilots gawking at Gina. Mentally berating herself for doing the same, she fought the urge to start shooting deckhands and viper jocks. Gina disappeared behind the plastic curtain before she lost the battle.

**"""""""""**

The scrubbing area held a container for irradiated undergarments to one side, a fresh set of clothes to the other, and a tubbed shower for bathing in the middle. It also contained masked white suited figures.

Out of the corner of her eye Gina saw Erin enter. She took a deep breath. In one fluid motion she removed her underwear, tossed it into the container and stepped into the tub. The water that hit her skin was warm. One man covered her with a white powder and the other began to scrub her from head to toe. The scrubbing was firm, but not painful and the men completely professional. Within seconds she was covered in foam and following instructions to move her limbs. Someone entered and waved a Geiger counter over her body before nodding. One pointed Gina to a towel and a change of clothes marked 'Cracker' as they filed out.

Erin walked past her as she removed her boxy head cover and placed it against the only metal wall. She crossed her arms over her chest, leaned back and engaged in an obvious struggled to keep her eyes on Gina's hear pounded in her chest. For a moment she felt unbelievably exposed standing before the person she most wanted to reveal herself to. She met Erin's eyes hoping to find the serenity she lacked and saw raw desire instead. She glanced around the room: no windows, no bars, no guards... just her and Erin. A forest of her creation bloomed around them and she envisioned the casual clothes she usually created to mask Erin's uniform. It was the one skill she had mastered in the brig. For years, blatant desire had at best annoyed Gina, but Erin's fueled her own. In the make shift plastic room surrounded by a significant chunk of the universe's human population, Gina decided to make the most of it.

**"""""""""**

Erin was fighting to keep her libido in check. Gina dropped her towel to one hand and lifted her foot to the edge of the tub. Erin looked up abruptly and Gina smiled slowly, then looked down, drawing Erin's eyes with her. She began to dry her toes with small circular motions. Whenever Erin looked up and Gina's hands stopped. Erin's breath caught. Gina wasn't going to dry her body unless she watched her every move.

As Gina's hands climbed, Erin tried to consciously regulate her breathing. By the time the towel reached Gina's center, Erin's breath was ragged anyway. Gina's hand kept moving from had the towel to caress her skin, her body shifting to improve Erin's view. Gina caressed her breasts and Erin gulped for air. Gina languorously pulled the towel across her back and stretched. Erin stopped breathing altogether.

Gina dangled the towel from her fingertips, then let it drop to the floor. "Like what you see?"

"More than I can say," rasped through Erin's thoat.

Gina's smile beamed and Erin gaped in shocked. She had never an unbridled smile on her face before. The effect was overwhelmingly and devastatingly erotic. Unbearably warm in the cold room, Erin began to peel off the rest of her radiation gear.

Gina caught her eye and bent to retrieve the fallen linen.

"Gods, Gina." Erin's groaned, somewhere between a cry of passion and plea for mercy. Her foot got stuck in her pant leg. Gina bit the middle of her lip as her body shuddered slightly.

"Don't you dare laugh." Erin warned. "I am completely capable of dressing and undressing myself. This is your fault."

Gina sauntered closer. "Want some help?"

Erin's foot chose that moment to come loose and she tripped out of the coverall. When she righted herself Gina was only a foot away in all her glory. The quip she'd planned died unspoken. Her hand rose of it's own accord to trace Gina's lips.

Gina darted out her tongue to taste Erin's fingers and grasped her hand to prevent it's escaped. She breathed Erin's name into the palm.

Erin's other hand joined the first in exploration. She brushed Gina's cheek and traced down her neck. Somewhere in her brain a voice was screaming wrong, but the moment felt magical. Even the wall of endlessly echoing sound seemed like a protective chant. She slid her hand along a still damp collar bone, reveling in the softness and heat of Gina's skin, while her eyes explored the graceful line where Gina's neck flowed into her shoulder.

"Yes" Gina threw her head back to invite Erin's mouth to follow.

Erin dipped until her lips met Gina's pulse. A low throaty moan made Erin both grateful for and resentful of the clothes that remained, covering her skin. Her hands gently began to roam and Gina shivered. Erin tightened her arms to protectively draw Gina close. The woman she cared so much for, stiffened and bolted back.

"No"

Cursing herself, Erin retreated. "Gods, I'm sorry. I..."

**"""""""""""**

Gina caught hold of Erin, before she escaped completely. "Wait. Don't...You didn't...the uniform, I forgot...I'm okay. Please." Tears welled as she fought off panic and the urge to cover body. Despite her reaction to the feel of the all too familiar uniform against her skin, nothing made her feel safer than Erin.

Gina felt pathetic and broken. Erin looked horrified. Her hands fisted, in the struggle to resist comfort through touch. "Let me get you your clothes. This was an incredibly dumb place to do this."

Gina followed, needing to stay close. "Is there a place on this ship that isn't? I should introduce you to one of my sisters; they'll frak anywhere, anytime."

Erin handed over the clothes. "I don't want to frak anywhere, anytime. I want you in the right place at the right time. Though you should probably get dressed before my brain shorts out and I forget that."

Gina grabbed Erin's hand along with her clothes. "I'll let you go, I want to continue this where I can make you scream without getting shot."

Mathias' blush lasted through Gina getting dressed.

'

**TBC.**.. really, I promise. Leave a review. They have been known to inspire me. Thanks to everyone who has done so already.


	17. Part 5: Killing Humans: Chapter 17

**Disclaimers and what not:** Look at chapter 1- violence applies here - again nothing graphic. Glad some started reading again, hope ypou haven't forgotten everything and/or are enjoying the revisions. Again, I'd love to here from you.

**Part Five: Killing Humans**

**Chapter 17**

Adama stood outside the decon curtain housing the Cylon and his Gunny listening to their laughter. Relief couldn't keep him from worrying how dangerous the relationship was for Mathias. And he did not want to contemplate how Gina would react should anything happen to the Gunny. The women exited the enclosure, lips pursed, wiping tears from their eyes; a shared glance resulted in shaking shoulders and another bursts of laughter. He hated to kill their good mood, but after Kat's collapse on deck it was for the best. Their high spirits could easily spark an incident.

"Gina, Gunny I need to speak with both of you. Follow me."

He hoped Mathias' presence would keep Gina at ease while he questioned her. As soon as the door to the storeroom was shut he began. "There are discrepancies in the report from the _McConnell_. I want to know what happened."

**""""""""""""**

Gina sucked in her breath. Anger, recrimination, she should have talked to Erin. "Other than the _McConnell_ trying to blow me out of the sky? Nothing much." Her tone was sarcastic, but her arms folded protectively around herself.

Adama's face darkened, "You were fired upon?"

Gina heard Erin gasp. She stepped closer to Adama, suddenly grateful to have someone else to focus on as she vented her rage. "Targeted, fired upon and retargeted. If they didn't have to choose between killing me and a lethal dose of radiation, your raptor would be in pieces."

"Excuse me." Adama stepped back to the phone. "Connect me to the XO... Saul, keep the _McConnell_ and her crew isolated... Secure the ship and detain them for questioning...You can expect it, tell them we need to check radiation levels and get marines on board..." He turned back to Gina, "Tell me what happened."

Gina began pacing to keep from exploding. It wasn't only the attempts to kill her. Being in _Galactica's_ brig had allowed her to find some balance, being out of it was knocking her on her ass. Every experience challenged her. It was like going undercover in the colonies. She could no longer remain smug and complacent. The challenges she faced were personal and profound. She just wanted to go back to her cell and pull Erin in with her...or maybe trash it again. "What am I supposed to tell you? They knew what I was and wanted me dead. Your crew sucks at keeping secrets."

Adama's words were slow and deliberate. "I want to know everything they said, how they said it, what they did and how you responded. I want to know exactly where to look for proof and be given a heads up for any excuses."

Gina was too tired. She stopped pacing, clasped her arms behind her neck and used her oft-cursed memory to relay everything.

Adama listened without interupting. "I'm going to need a full written report."

"Does that mean I get a pen?" Gina asked.

Adama was beginning to understand Racetrack's desire to strangle her. "The mission debriefing is about to start. There are two marines waiting to escort you. Cottle wants to see you in lifestations afterwards, but you have to wait until the latest wave of civilian patients is cleared out. Mathias will pick you up when everything is ready." Adama shifted his focus. "Gunny, I need a word."

Apprehension flashed across Gina's face. Erin responded immediately. "Permission to escort Gina to the guard and return."

"Granted." Adama nodded.

**""""""""""**

Mathias looked calmer than she felt. She wanted to keep Gina in sight. She had been making mental notes about experiences they could share outside of the brig. Now she had no desire for Gina to be anywhere but safely locked in.

**"""""""""**

Colonel Tigh gave the orders to isolate the _McConnell_. Tarkas reported problems with his viper. Tigh granted him permission to come in.

**"""""""""**

Gina trudged towards the briefing room. Once she left Erin's side the effects of the radiation hit her hard. She could usually walk better shackled than she could now. She fought the urge to ask the marines to prop her up. They weren't part of her usual detail. And something was off. It was as if the normal level of sound was being absorbed. No one was smiling. Even the Chief sounded flat and lifeless. The effect was deadening. Every step seemed to drain more of her energy. She'd heard clapping and cheers earlier. She slowed, trying to fathom what had happened.

**"""""""""**

Kat was rushed to lifestations. Harder cleared the path. She met no resistance until she yelled for everyone in line for treatment to make way.

**"""""""""**

Other than Lee Adama, Gina was the last to arrive at the debriefing. She would have loved to sit in the back corner but wasn't sure she would make it. A pilot who actually looked green sat in the seat closest to the door. It was up the steps or over to the far corner. She decided to avoid going vertical and headed across the front.

Lee Adama entered somberly. After calling back to the marines to close the hatch against the rising level of noise from outside, he began. "All but two ships made it through the star cluster. Every pilot performed remarkably on this mission. You will all receive commendations. I hope you won't mind my putting off the paperwork for awhile."

"We are all exhausted and ill. And Kat will remain in lifestations." His tone made it clear she wasn't coming out. "However, we must continue to do our jobs. They now include transporting civilians, supporting the collection, processing and distribution of algae and providing security."

"The marines have been stretched thin and working non-stop since the food crisis began. Though they are doing everything possible to keep the civilian population contained, we must assume all areas are insecure. Do not discuss any sensitive information. We do not want civilians to panic over any real," he looked at Gina, "or imaginary situation. So, do not gripe. Consider yourselves on duty at all times until the civilian population has returned to their ships. Hit the rack and report back at 0800."

**"""""""""**

Adama had just arrived back in CIC when the two calls came in. One from lifestations reporting a mob desperate for treatment. The other concerned civilians who had escaped any pronounced effects from the radiation. There seemed to be a consensus that pressing into the restricted areas of the hangar deck would allow them to eat sooner.

**"""""""""**

A ship wide announcement that the algae needed to be harvested and processed and would then be distributed to the fleet ships was heard while the pilots rose to leave the debriefing. Gina remained seated, her head resting in her hand. She wondered if she should get up and go talk to the guards at the door before she fell asleep. She stretched, arching back and twisting her neck to get rid of the stiffness that had already settled into her body. She felt a momentary wave of relief when she heard booted footsteps enter. It disappeared when she opened her eyes. Tarkas and two deckhands from the _Pegasus_ were closing the hatch.

A rush of adrenaline got her to her feet. A slightly less than lethal dose of radiation didn't keep fear and anger from compensating. Shackles were being pulled from coveralls. Thankfully, Tarkas had been forbidden to carry a side arm. She bolted to the center of the open space and kept moving.

"You look like one fried toaster. How'd you like something harder than the marine's you've been frakking to make you feel better?" Tarkas said as a crow bar slid from his sleeve. "Oh, don't worry about the guards, they're busy."

Gina struggled for control of her body and emotions. They were flanking her.

The deckhands lunged, high and low as Tarkas moved forward. Gina threw over the one coming high but lost her balance as she kicked free of the other. That forced her to block the crowbar with her arm.

**"""""""""**

Rogers walked through the halls. The reporters were being challenged if they tried to set foot off Colonial One. He was a cameraman and much less recognizable. The press corp had worked together to sneak him past their watch dogs. He had foregone his usual equipment in favor of the small home video camera supplied by McManus. He was getting establishing shots from his position behind a stack of crates when marines did a sweep to clear a path. Cursing he ducked down, the view from between the crates was not the best, but it would do. He got the shot of the pilot being rushed by in a gurney.

**"""""""""**

Gina didn't stay down but she wasn't winning either. Her arm was broken. She lacked precision and speed, and was losing strength. She could keep them back with the crow bar, but couldn't connect solidly. To break a neck she'd have to toss it. She growled in frustration.

**"""""""""**

Mathias walked to the phone to await the go ahead to take Gina to lifestations. She had had to go back to the locker to get the weapons and gear she discarded to don the radiation suit. Gina would be spending the night in lifestations. With luck they'd be able to find some time to make a few changes to her cell before she was locked in again.

Looking around she lost the hope of free time. If the rest of the civilians, jammed into every nook and cranny of the battlestar, were anything like the ones here, no one's time would be their own. A bridge officer barked orders as marines tried to herd them back to where they belonged. Their numbers only seemed to multiply.

She caught sight of the entrance to the debriefing room. The door was closed, no marines. _Frak._ She ran, calling out for back up. Fischer appeared from the crowd. They were met at the door by two marines who confidently reported that no civilians had gotten by them. Mathias barely contained her disgust as she ordered them to open the hatch.

**"""""""""**

Gina's feral actions intimidated the deckhands. She was no longer the catatonic woman they remembered so well. They had told Tarkas she was dead on her feet and would be easy pickings. Now they wondered if they would be the ones to be picked off. They stayed back, neither willing to be the first to move within her reach. At the sound of the hatch opening they jumped back even further.

Tarkas reacted to the intrusion with rage, he glanced at the door as he shouted. "Close the hatch. That's an order." Gina swung down hard if without precision. Bone splintered and Tarkas' command ended with a howl.

**"""""""**

The absurdity of the order enhanced Mathias' authority, but Gina's actions were countermanding it. Mathias called for the marines to hold.

Gina took a step back at the arrival of the new threat.

"Shoot her!" Tarkas yelled as he scrambled across the floor.

"Stand down!" Mathias barked over her shoulder before confronting Gina. "Six, drop the weapon."

The deckhands tried to hide shackles as they moved to the walls.

Fischer grabbed Tarkas, pulling him further away from Gina. Pain prevented him from issuing another order.

Mathias kept her weapon trained on Gina. She had no choice.

**"""""""**

Gina did not let go. She couldn't. The crow bar was life. Too many to keep track of, her mind and vision spun.

Fear permeated the room. A marine removed her helmet. "Six! Look at me! It's Erin. Drop the crow bar."

Movement slowed coming to a still point as her vision cleared. Erin. Relief filled Gina, but her body was still controlled by the adrenaline coursing through it. Her mind allowed her to lower the bar, but her body kept it's grip on the weapon. She stepped toward Erin and two rifles cocked.

**"""""""**

"Stand down!" Mathias did what all her training told her never to do. She lowered her weapon and blocked their shot with her body. "Arrest the men. Admirals orders." A slight shift of her shoulders betrayed her urge to turn and aim at the clueless marines.

Fischer didn't hesitate to follow Mathias. He trained his gun on Tarkas and ordered the two marines to secure the crewmen standing with their hands up in supplication.

Mathias spoke with much more confidence than the situation warranted. "Six. it's alright. You're safe. Let go."

It wasn't the feeling of safety, but the need to touch Erin that finally won out. The metal bar fell to the floor.


	18. Part 5: Killing Humans:: Chapter 18

Another short chapter. My plan is to finish the revisions and get the rest posted by November

**Part Five: Killing Humans**

**Chapter 18 **

From behind the crates, Rogers filmed the altercation.

"What are we supposed to do if we need medical help?" The imposing man's challenge ignited another press by the civilians behind him.

"All beds are full. A triage station is set up around that corner. Emergencies will be tended to. But you will be arrested if you return to this area without approval," the marine warned.

A dying pilot, people threatened with arrest for seeking treatment. He wasn't going anywhere. Fortunately, the focus on stopping people wanting to get by made his hiding place more secure. He didn't have to wait long for an even bigger story to walk by.

"... put me in the brig and let a Six fly a raptor?" The marine grabbed the cuffed pilot's injured shoulder. The prisoner twisted away and glared at the marine. "You like taking turns frakking her as much as we did."

Fischer slammed the butt of his rifle into Tarkas' gut. The pilot fell to his knees, but continued to speak through clenched teeth. "She's gonna kill us all, you idiot."

Fisher took aim. "One more word and the next one's to your head. Now move!"

_Zeus frakking Hera. It's true._ Rogers prayed in earnest for the first time since the attack. '_Lords of Kobol, __please let me get a shot of her.'_

**"""""""""**

As soon as the human prisoners had been secured, Mathias stripped off her flack vest and shirt.

Tarkas refused to be cowed. "I out-rank all of you! Arrest her."

Fischer yanked the pilot to his feet. "I think you're getting demoted to crossing guard."

"You think she won't break your necks because she's frakking her?" Tarkas yelled.

Mathias saw doubt in the eyes of the two marines not from her unit. " Assaulting and raping prisoners is a crime." Erin lifted her chin toward to her discarded over shirt. "It makes the victim nervous around uniforms. These three were going to do it again. They are under arrest. Take those two to the brig. Fischer, take Tarkas to lifestations while the hallways are clear and get another man on the door."

**"""""""""**

Cottle was anxious about seeing Gina after dealing with Tarkas. He lit another cigarette. The pilot's level of agitation made him too tense and uncooperative for Cottle to treat without sedating the crap out of him. The chaos in his mind fueled his body dangerously. The man was close, if not well into, a psychotic break. Cottle would put that in his report for all the good it would do. It did offer some explanation for the rifle butt injuries. He made a note to schedule the shoulder surgery. It was all he could do, but as usual, much less than what Tarkas needed.

**"""""""""**

Venner's feet shuffled as his world shifted beneath them. He watched the Cylon burrow into the Gunny's arms as she sobbed. The pain and helplessness evident on the usually stoic marine's features was unnerving. He wrestled with what made him so uncomfortable. After seeing the president at her most vulnerable, he had ended up aiding her escape from prison. He didn't want to feel the same sympathy or sense of injustice for a Cylon.

"""""""""

Mathias knew this had to be throwing Venner for a loop, but she mentally thanked Fischer for sending him. He was a compassionate man, if a bit too religious for comfort. He'd just informed her that Tarkas was about to be released from lifestations. She hoped the reemergence of his ability to stand still meant he was comfortable enough to cover her back. Regardless, she needed to be Gina's friend, not her prison guard.

"Gina," Erin kissed her lightly on the forehead and withdrew, "we have to go to lifestations."

Gina pulled Erin back and kissed her with a passionate need for comfort. When the kiss ended, she grasped Erin's hair to keep her where she needed her. "Will you stay with me?"

"I'll disobey any orders but yours." Erin promised.

"Good, you need to leave when I tell you to." Gina paused to sniffle. "I'm going to wake up screaming and probably break the first thing I get my hands on. It better not be you."

Erin pulled Gina's hand from her hair and held it. "We should find you something non-breakable to hold on to, not to mention throw. Don't suppose you ever had a rag doll."

Gina pulled back and narrowed her eyes. "You want to give me a doll?"

Erin grinned. "I want to give you a lot of things."

**"""""""""**

Cottle entered the quarantine area to find Erin Mathias holding Gina's hand despite the line running into it. He was thankful for Mathias' presence. He doubted Ishay would have gotten Gina through x-ray let alone hooked up to an IV without her. Ishay was trembling more than Gina by the time she was done. "The arm is a clean break. I'm going to reset it. I want to give you a full exam. I have half a mind to knock you out for it. Did you receive any blows to the head?"

"Don't knock me out," Gina spoke without breath. "Please. I don't want to stay here. I want to go back to my cell."

Cottle snuffed out his cigarette. "Tell you what, I'll set and cast that arm then examine the rest of you. You promise to stop terrifying my medic and if you're still awake when everything's gotten from those IV bags into you, I'll send you on your way."

"You really don't want me waking up here." Gina tried to make it sound like a warning, not a threat.

"I'm sure this is going to be a rough night, but you're doing better than you think. You're more threatening and acerbic than usual, but using a lot more clarity and control than you're giving yourself credit for. I know being somewhere you feel comfortable is important, but you have always been safe in lifestations." Cottle paused, thinking over his words. "I am concerned about the overall beating your body's taken in the last few days and your radiation exposure. If you haven't collapsed from exhaustion by the time those bags are empty I'll assume you're better than your labs indicate...Just don't even think of asking Mathias to keep you awake."

**"""""""""**

Bill Adama began unbuttoning his uniform before he stepped through the hatchway. He stopped mid-button and stood staring at his model ship.

Acutely aware that she was an invader in his quarters, Laura usually let Bill be the first to speak. Her concern overrode her self imposed etiquette. "Bill, are you alright?"

"Kat's finally exhausted enough to sleep through the pain. Gina's asleep in quarantine. She was assaulted after the debriefing."

Bill was too pained for a presidential 'I told you so'. And he had been more right than she had thought possible. This time Laura grabbed the bottle and poured. "I'm sorry, Bill. Will you tell me what happened?"

He raised the glass and asked before swallowing, "Will you let me sleep if I don't."

"Probably not." Laura beckoned with the bottle, smiling sadly. "Hum-mm. You were right about Gina not running or attacking."

Bill sat beside her. "And you were right about the reaction to her."

"Well at least we can get the algae without Cylon help." They met each other's eyes and reached to knock on the table at the same time. Their burst of laughter didn't last long, but felt good. Roslin asked, "How many people were involved?"

Bill stared at his drink. "In the raptor attack, the entire crew of the _McConnell_ and possibly some on the _Fara Sadin_. Tarkas and two deckhands from the _Pegasus_ tried to rape and probably kill her in the pilot briefing room. Tarkas and Gina both needed to be treated in lifestations."

Laura shifted to face him. "Tarkas, isn't he one you were watching?"

Bill looked her n the eye. "When we quarantined the _McConnell_, he reported engine trouble and came in. No one alerted the marines. We haven't completed the investigation, but there is a link between Tarkas and the _McConnell_ from back when Fisk was in command. If he's our only leak, this should be containable."

Laura rested her fingers on his arm. "Then why do you sound so defeated? None of the attacks were successful and you knew, even with Gina, you might lose a pilot to radiation."

His eyes remained focused on her hand entranced by the contrast of light skin against dark, delicacy against bulk. "The lawlessness started with an officer and spread to civilians in authority. How can we keep this fleet together when watching the watchers is the biggest problem?"

Laura chided him as she squeezed his arm. "Bill, I've been in politics for years and you've been a soldier even longer. That's always the biggest problem."

He glanced up. "What's that make us?"

Withdrawing her hand Laura straightened into presidential poise, looked him steadily in the eye and stated with absolute conviction, "Two people who need to ply the secrets out of each other with alcohol in the interest of fleet security."

**TBC...**


	19. Part Six: Living::Chapter 19

**Part Six: Living**

**Chapter 19**

Erin put her hand in the small of Gina's back to steer her away from the brig. "We need to stop by my rack."

Gina eyed her suspiciously. "I thought you just came from your rack."

Erin clutched her chest, feigning injury. "Are you saying you don't want to come home with me?"

Hooking her fingers into the waist of Erin's pants, Gina tugged. "You, yes, the rest of the unit, not so much."

"Give them a break. They have your back despite how much effort you put into breaking theirs." Erin grinned. "Though the shock of you being pleasant might paralyze them like it did Ishay."

Gina began to work her way under Erin's shirt rather than confirm or deny her intent.

"Promise you'll be nice, Gina."

"How nice?"

"No flying objects, body parts, or word daggers." Erin got out before her breath caught when Gina's fingers found skin.

Hopeful for a loophole Gina stroked and pleaded. "Darts?"

Erin pulled Gina's hand out from under her clothes. "No!" Ushering them into the barracks, she closed the hatch, leaving the on-duty marines outside.

"Nobody's here." Gina said accusingly as she removed her glasses and hat.

"Sneaking your girlfriend into your room when nobody's home is a time honored tradition." Erin informed her.

Gina's head tilted down as her eyebrows raised. "Are we going to get in trouble if we get caught?"

Erin stood at parade rest. "Fortunately I intimidate my siblings. Dad of course has a vague idea of what's going on, but we keep him from seeing what he really doesn't want to know."

Gina folded her good arm across her casted one. "That means yes, right?"

"Don't worry, even if I'm grounded I still get to go to school, and I'm sure the Old Man won't call your parents." Erin pointed to her bunk, covered by a very old, very non military quilt, and her locker. "This is home. Since you can't fit in the locker, you can have a seat in the rack. Unless you don't trust my intentions, then you can sit in the living room." She gestured to the table centered between the racks.

Gina explored the room pretending to contemplate where she should sit. She ran her hand along the outside of the locker, then glanced at Erin as her fingers found the latch.

"Go ahead, you can look." Erin moved to the rack and began unlacing her boots.

Gina opened the door as if expecting something to jump out at her. Something did. She was eye level with a service side arm. "We need to work on how trusting you are."

"I'm falling in love with you, so If I can't trust you, I'm screwed anyway." Erin shrugged. "Besides, it would be smarter for you to break my neck." She reached in her pocket and let a clip dangle from her fingertips. "Especially since it isn't loaded."

Gina gave her a scathing look.

Erin grinned. "And please don't destroy my image of you by saying you need two hands to snap it."

"Your neck's scrawny enough to break with one." Gina picked up the gun and tossed it to her. "You better take that. You'd be amazed by what I can do with an unloaded gun." Gina smiled widely before returning her attention to the locker. She touched the head of a ceramic figure, it bobbled. "I guess wanting to get me a doll is more forgivable if you have this."

"It was for my wife, kind of a running joke."

Gina looked at Erin. There was sadness in her eyes, but it was mitigated by the genuine smile on her lips.

Erin grabbed a water bottle from a stash in her rack. "Go ahead, keep looking, I know you want to."

There was a bottle of amber alcohol that was dusty, music cassettes that weren't, and a player with headphones. Hanging was a bright multi colored button down shirt with tropical flowers that Gina could not imagine the gunny in, and earth toned shirts she could. Erin was wearing her grey pants and blue shirt, stripped with maroon and ochre. Faded jeans, frayed shorts, sweats, uniforms, a towel, toiletries and paint splattered sneakers completed the gunny's worldly possessions housed within.

Gina turned to the inside of the door and saw her reflection. She used to look soft, sophisticated, almost delicate... kind. She used to _be_ kind. The woman staring back at her wasn't. She looked older and hard, with pain lined eyes and a set unsmiling jaw... she always used to smile. Her mouth dropped open; she looked younger. Unsettled, she watched her expression change: shocked, cynical, disheartened, remorseful. She didn't remember seeing any of them before. She needed to look elsewhere.

She focused on the photos running down the side of the mirror and touched the face of the laughing flame haired man with the graying beard. "Your father, the machinist?"

"Ernin the ermine lined, forever waiting to retire so he could let his beard grow longer. The whiskey in there was for him. I drink a shot on his birthday." Erin informed her in neutral tones.

Five men, ranging from young adult to almost Erin's age smiled at her. Gina studied the brothers before attempting to match names with faces. "Aoidh?" She looked at Erin for confirmation. "Declan? Callum? Ronan and Eoghan." She knew them.

Next a much older photo of a woman who looked like a blonde blue eyed Erin, minus any trace of severity. "Your mother looks the same age as you." Gina spoke with wonder.

Erin tried not to laugh at Gina's reaction. There were so many odd little things Gina didn't get. "Just about, I'm thirty-five. She was thirty-six when she died."

"And you became a grunt instead of going to officer's training." Gina's voice still sounded like she was discovering something never imagined, despite all the stories Erin had told her.

"I was young and dumb. The service will either pay for school or just pay you. I wanted to help my Dad with the boy brood and put some money in the family pot."

Gina noted an undercurrent in Erin's voice. She turned to look at her, but stopped short of asking a question.

Erin answered anyway. "We lived near a base. I believed them when they promised I'd be stationed there." She didn't try to hide the betrayal she still felt. She'd been very young and far too vulnerable.

"Not that I can imagine you as anything else, but why didn't you quit?" Gina couldn't understand how humans could commit themselves without belief, especially someone as forthright as Erin.

"The pay was more than I'd get doing anything else back home." Erin laughed. "Of course it would have been better if I hadn't let my anger keep me from being promoted."

Gina gaped. "I've never seen you angry."

Erin raised her eyebrows.

Gina amended her claim. "Well, not uncontrollably angry...despite my best efforts."

"I was." Erin assured her. "When your mum is killed you get angry; when the Fleet screws with you, you get angrier. When they start docking your pay, you learn to control it. When you meet someone and fall in love, you forget about it. When she makes it clear she'll only spend her life with you, if you work through it; you do."

"Is that a hint?" Gina asked wryly.

Erin smiled. "My scrawny neck says yes."

Gina laughed, but it came out hollow.

"Anger and frustration don't just go away, Gina. Especially around here. We'll find a way for you to vent that doesn't involve marines and Cottle's medics. I promise."

Gina's shoulders fell further as she tried to dispel her lingering doubt.

Again Erin responded to her body language. "Six, you've handled everything that's been thrown at you the last few days. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"I'm worried and you should be too." Gina looked at her. Erin sat silent, challenging her to say what was on her mind. "I need to feel safe, Erin. I always thought of myself as being protective, but we, Sixes, are just plane ruthless when we believe in something. Always the first in and the last out of a fight. If you don't want anyone to wind up dead, you should keep that gun handy. . And it's not like I don't get angry with you."

"Anyone can lose it, Gina. After the way you stood down in the briefing room, I trust you, I really do. You won't intentionally hurt me. I'll do whatever it takes to help you deal with everyone else."

Gina wasn't sure she deserved trust, but she wanted to be what Erin needed. She looked at the most prominently displayed photo, a woman with large brown eyes and curly black hair, smiling with an ease Gina never had. Her voice came out barely above a whisper. "You never told me your wife's name."

"Marina. She ran the shelter and rec center for teens I volunteered at. I went to distract myself from not being able to make it home. It practically became my home. The paint on those sneakers is from working on a mural with the kids."

Gina saw no pictures of children. "You didn't have children of your own?"

"Children need to be loved, not owned." Erin snapped the automatic response and Gina froze. "Sorry. Sore spot. We got a lot of pressure to have kids, especially from Marina's family. She used to say if you can't love someone else's children, you shouldn't have your own; and if you do, you don't need to. We offered love and acceptance to kids who never got enough of it. We had all the children we could want."

Gina stood stunned. Millions of children murdered for not being theirs. Erin had just proclaimed every Cylon an unfit parent. Gina choked out a question to distract herself. "You don't have pictures of them?"

Erin drew a leg up and leaned back against the wall. She intentionally ignored the distress Gina failed to hide, in favor of answering her question. "It was too painful. I wasn't as close to them as Marina, but knowing they're all dead was too much for me to face everyday. They're on the memorial wall."

Gina sat, bookending Erin position. "You told me stories about mentoring, but you hardly ever talked about your wife."

"No, I didn't." Erin sat motionless. "At first not talking about Marina kept me from hating you." She glanced at the picture of her wife. "Then I think it kept me from feeling like I was betraying her."

"You don't feel like your betraying her now?"

Erin shook her head. "If she'd survived without me, I'd have wanted her to find someone who loves her as much as I do. As much as I think I can love you."

"I still don't get why." Gina remembered convincing herself that Baltar loved her, it was so easy in the bubble of being a prisoner. "I can understand you wanting me, but...I'm not sure I can be who you need me to be."

"I want you to be yourself, Gina...Six, the person whose been my friend, listened to my stories, given me advice." Erin sounded as exasperated as Gina felt and she kept her eyes averted, as she struggled with what to say. "I want to be your lover because of how I feel, not the other way around. I don't want some fantasy frak. I don't want to frak at all if your trying to be what you think I want."

"I'm not..." Gina started, but then stopped. She wasn't really sure. "I'm attracted to you, I don't care why, this," Gina motioned between them, "is all I've got. And it was enough to get me to come back. I want there to someone in my life I never betrayed; whose heart I didn't knowingly tear out." Gina hated to think of Helena, but she couldn't ignore the similarities between the stoic women. She took a moment to be thankful for their differences. "You've shown me how to get angry, but not lash out. How to protect without killing or even fighting. You always react to what others need, but you don't ignore one value to defend another. I want to do that, I need to do that."

Sorrow replaced the anger in Erin's eyes. "I've watched you play to or against what people want, but I've felt an honesty between us. I thought what's happening between us was wrong because your my prisoner. But we're all trapped, desperate anything that isn't tainted and bitter. "

Gina voiced her biggest fear. "And I'm a walking blight. Do you really think the others can stop hating me enough to let us be together?"

"My gut says your worth the risk. If they don't see tension between us; if you treat people with respect, most'll will come around." Erin took a long drag from her water bottle, obviously delaying while she debated whether to say something. "This is about more than us. We all need to make peace with the past. You told me we couldn't win against the the cylon fleet. You were right. We needed you and Athena to survive, and we've still got a long way to need a real truce with as many of you as we can get."

"You think being lovers will bring some kind of peace, are you forgetting New Caprica? Baltar and my sister were lovers!" No amount of security could have kept Gina from learning the scope of the disaster that was New Caprica. The entire unit had been rocked by what they witnessed on the ground, the human death toll and the condition of the human prisoners. They made sure she knew that.

"Your people wanted to control us." Erin took a breath and closed her eyes to remember. "Everyone wants to feel free. Everyone needs structure. We fight because no one feels free or agrees on the best structure. We fight hardest when we have too much or too little. Always have." Erin opened her eyes. "Right now Cylons have too much and the fleet has too little. Neither respects the other. You and I do it, there's a chance for something other than a fight to extinction."

"And what, peace will be declared and we'll live happily ever after?" Gina responded quickly.

"Peace isn't something you can declare, it's something you work at, like any relationship. Ours is going to be hard, Gina. There is so much about you that I don't know, that I've stopped myself from asking. And I had a wife and a life you barely know anything about. Marina was the philosopher, not me. I need to honor her memory."

"So you think if we jump over all the lines we drew to become friends, we can stand up to everyone as lovers? That won't keep us us safe, Mathias."

"Not letting things we haven't talked about sneak up and bite us in the ass will make stronger."

Too much was coming back, memories staking claims. "What makes you think you'll still like me, let a lone trust me?" Gina couldn't explain why she was still arguing. Switches began tripping in the back of her mind. Within a model, disagreement had been rare; disagreements between different models were considered disruptive. The inherent skills and weaknesses of each line within each model was accepted, leaving almost every task divided according to unquestioned expertise sometimes by lines created specifically to troubleshoot problems. After all attempts at producing children failed, what to do about humans and the colonies was one of the few things they had to debate. Nothing in their existence was more thrilling.

"You really think there's something worse than knowing about the attack on the colonies?"

Gina did a perfect imitation of a fish.

Erin nudged her with her foot. "I don't want to wring details out of you, but we've left some gaping holes. The worst fights I ever had with Marina were over things I hid from her. She was the person I loved more than anyone, and we had to work at staying together."

Gina flinched with some combination of dread, discomfort and longing rolled into a flash of anger. The reaction didn't make sense. Sixes were programmed to be the most non discriminating of all the cylons when it came to taking lovers. Not lustful so much as experimental: craving experience, fascinated by difference. Anger coursed through her, just like when Helena refused to stop being Admiral Cain long enough for them to frak each other senseless. But Erin was always there for her, more than anyone else ever had been.

Erin leaned forward. "Gina, are you alright?"

The only explanation Gina could find went against everything Sixes believed of themselves. "I can't tell whether I want to know everything about Marina or tell you to shut up...I think I'm jealous."

Erin couldn't keep a laugh of disbelief from escaping. "This would be that ass bite I was referring to."

Gina took a deep breath. She wanted Erin. She wanted to know Erin. And she knew she owed Erin and probably everyone in the fleet an explanation. Not that she thought anyone else would listen, but Erin would. She was offering to fill the most painful void of Gina's exile.

"You want to be my sister." Gina reached for Erin with intent no one would mistake for sisterly.

Erin balked, slamming into the wall she forgot was behind her.

Gina let out a peel of laughter as Erin rubbed the back of her head. "I can make you feel better." Gina promised as she slinked across the bunk.

Erin put her hand up between them. "Six, we need to talk. Beginning with your disturbing definition of sister." Erin shook her head as if trying to dislodge something.

"Your about as much fun as a Three." Gina sat back pouting. "Sixes don't share all our memories unless we experienced something that will bring us all closer to God's plan. We give re-countings, first to a Three, and then Sixes closest to us." Gina grinned. "But your not a Three; I won't get boxed."

Gina sat back. She could do this. "What was Marina like?"

It took a second for Erin to react with anything other than a perplexed look. Relief followed. "She was amazing: compassionate, goofy, tough, vibrant, dedicated. She was from a wealthy Tauron family. After she graduated from University, she put everything she had into helping kids without advantages. I volunteered at the center because I missed my brothers. She asked me for a date. I couldn't understand what she saw in me."

Gina nudged Erin's leg with her foot. "I can give you a list if you haven't figured it out yet."

Tension, that had been like another body sitting between them, was gone; Erin moved to fill the void. "Marina told me I was an example to the kids that felt cheated by life. That they could make something of themselves. She said everyone she knew with strength and power abused it and abused others to get it, but that I was everything someone strong should be. That's exactly how I thought of her. She had so much energy, everyone was lifted up by it."

Gina stroked her cheek. "Why don't you hate me for her death, for helping to kill your family?"

Apparently Cylon sisters didn't pull punches. "I know you were a genocidal Cylon, but cylons aren't the only ones ever convinced that genocide was a good idea. I know you think war is wrong, I hear it every time you talk about the military, your not just referring to ours." Erin paused. Gina made no attempt to refute her claim, Erin continued, "but after what was done to you, I feel like you're the only Cylon who has the right to want to wipe us out of existence. That scares me."

Gina reached for Erin. The hand heading toward her neck skirted around to pull free the band holding up her pony tail. Erin never tensed. "You have a funny way of showing fear.".

"I'm more afraid of losing you." Erin shook out her hair. "Will you answer some questions? There's no one watching or listening here."

Gina sighed. "I've barely figured out the answers to my own questions. I might not be able to answer yours."


	20. Part Six: Living::Chapter 20

Okay , her goes try # 3, The rating should have been switched to M, chapter 19 was also fixed up a bit, let em know if that got screwed up too.

Chapter 20

"Hey," Erin tugged on Gina's pant leg. "Just don't just say what you think I want to hear. I know what you did. I want to try to understand why. They might have been completely cracked, but I know you, there had to be reasons that seemed to make sense."

"I don't suppose you'd consider frakking instead?" If Gina lost Erin her life in the fleet would be intolerable. As much as she loved to pry the secrets out of others, self-revelation was her least favorite activity. Maybe that's why infiltrators ended up boxed, it was so hard for Sixes to share anything but their bodies. "What do you want to know?"

Erin took Gina's hand and a deep breath...then froze. She needed to ask the question whose answer she feared the most.

Gina bent down and looked up to catch the marine's eye. "Erin? You're not allowed to look like that before I've said anything."

The gunny known for her fearlessness cleared her throat. "Sorry, just a bit of sheer terror, I have trouble imagining you really wanting an _us _the same way I do."

Gina laughed. "What else could I possibly want, an algae diet?"

Erin frowned. "That's the problem, what could make you want to stay with the fleet?"

Gina's face went blank. "I don't have anywhere else to go. I'd love to be on a planet no humans or Cylons ever set foot on. The brig is probably as close as I can get, at least no one wants to go there." Gina let out a strained laugh. "Of course I also want out of the brig, assuming I can survive the experience. Guards I can tell to go away. And I desperately want to frak you until everything else disappears, repeatedly."

Erin narrowed her eyes. "Your going to try to make it impossible for me to think, aren't you?"

Gina's face became pure innocence. "If you can't think, maybe you should let me decide what we do."

"Nice try," Erin deadpanned. "You're really okay with never going back?"

Gina took a moment. "I don't want to go back to what I remember. Unless they change enough to accept you, I don't want them. I really can't be sure of anything else." She threaded their fingers. "I want passion. With Helena desire was this force that blew everything apart, with you it helps me hold everything together."

Erin spoke gently, "Maybe that's because you're not hiding."

"You won't be able to hide either. Do you really want to spend more time in the brig, not really being alone together?"

"I want to spend time with you anywhere." Erin assured her. "And I want everyone else to go away as much as you do. The Old Man wants to let you out, we wouldn't be getting away with this if he didn't. It'll be baby steps for a while. You staying out of trouble, finding something for you to do, the crew getting comfortable with you. But you'll still live in the brig. I'm not sure where that leaves us. I really don't want to frak and then leave you alone in a cell. That just feels wrong."

"Erin, I'm Cylon, frak and leave's what we do. Nothing's private, we don't even have doors."

Erin grinned. "You just described most of the marines and pilots. Is that what you want?"

Gina laughed. "Are you crazy?"

"Are you okay with spending more time here with the rest of the unit? You'd get to use the enlisted head and showers, see us out of uniform."

Gina tried to touch her own chin with her casted arm and ended up with a thumb in her ear. "Naked? watching when you'd rather have privacy. Can I bring that camera with me... go through everyone's locker?"

Erin's arms folded across her chest. "That would get you airlocked. I do, however, have something to help you fit in. It reminded me of the tender interactions we've all shared with you." Erin presented the sweatshirt of the drill sergeant from Hades with all the flourish of a courtier from an ancient court. "My humble gift to you."

Gina regarded the offering with wonder. There wasn't any commerce in Cylon society. Anything available was shared without individual claims past use. It seemed superior but there was a side effect; no one gave gifts. Though she had lived freely among humans for years, nothing prepared her for how the simple human gesture would affect her.

Excitement erupted and a smile burst from within. Her heart rate increased as she detected a faint scent. The shirt smelled like Erin. She unfurled it. Laughter reverberated through her body. The shirt was perfect. Everything felt perfect. Using all her Cylon strength, speed and agility Gina pulled Erin into a kiss.

Gina held Erin in place until she moaned with passion. Than hands stroked until their bodies arched into each other. Gina pulled back without removing her lips from Erin's flesh. Half the buttons of Erin's shirt were free, before the marine noticed. She grabbed Gina's hands and leaned back. Gina followed her motion and flattened her against the bed. Breaking free of the lose hold, fingers continued to unfasten as lips tasted exposed skin.

Erin held Gina to her even as she panted, "Gina. Talk."

Gina mumbled something unintelligible as she moved down. She tasted her way across Erin's chest. She took a breast into her mouth before pulling back until only her teeth held Erin's nipple and her tongue flicked across the stiffed flesh. Gina grinned before enveloping her breast again. She moved the other side.

Erin's breath grew more ragged, and moans interspersed with Gina's name grew louder. Still caught between body and mind, stopped her herself from reaching under clothing even as Gina stroked over the taunt muscles. and began to tug at Erin's pants.

Added pressure against her center made Erin cry out even as her pants resisted Gina's one armed attempt to remove them.

Frustrated Gina finally pulled back. "You promised, you'd lose the uniform. Switching to civilian clothes doesn't count."

Gina looked at Erin's lips awaiting a response, and moved in to taste them before she got one. She had been so alone. Medics touched her and tried as much as she did not to cringe at the contact. But this, this was like salvation on a stick, she couldn't hold back. She ravished Erin's mouth with the same thoroughness she had her breasts.

Erin responded by pulling Gina close, destroying any chance the cylon had of removing her pants. When lack of oxygen left them gasping Gina gave the waistband another tug. "Consider this an official request. Loose the cloths, Gunny."

Erin held Gina back this time and looked into her eyes, putting all her concern, desire and doubt into the one word. "Gina?"

"I know, I do, but I need you, please." Gina trembled and closed her eyes. She had never begged for anything on the Galactica, had promised herself never to do it again. "Please."

Erin moved out of the cramped rack. A spike of pain stopped Gina's breath until Erin's hands moved to finish what Gina had started. Unfortunately, Erin was no better at getting her clothes off this time than she had been the last time Gina watched her. Though to be fair it may have had something to do with Gina opening her own shirt enough to reveal a healthy portion of her breast.

Relief at Erin's cooperation made Gina giddy with excitement. Every move and look filled her with confidence that this was what she most needed. She grinned like a child watching a sundae being made and reached out to stick her fingers in her treat.

"Keep that hand to yourself or I might forget how clothes work." Erin spoke as if it wasn't already an issue.

Gina pulled backa nd rubbed her thigh, eyes glued to Erin's body. "You're beautiful."

When Erin stood naked before her, she purred, "Your not done." Arching back she presented a boot clad foot.

Erin shook her head, but kneeled and began to undo the laces. "Are you sure you're going to be as comfortable with your own clothes off?"

Gina groaned as Erin massaged her calf. Firm but gentle, just what she needed. Erin put down one leg and reached for another. She shifted and Gina saw herself as reflected in the glass of her Pegasus cell. She covered her own gasp with an anecdote. "We rarely wore them on a baseship. I think clothes might be what Sixes like best about humanity, though they'd be horrified by those boots."

Erin looked up, her smile wide and relaxed, a sight few people saw. Gina relaxed and found herself gripping the bed, having lost both her panic and her hands free resolve. Her voice came out low and throaty. "Can I touch you now?"

Erin flushed. "Are you sure about this? We still need to talk and my questions won't be easy. You may wish you'd shared a bit less of yourself goin in."

"As long as I can have all of you." Gina's flirtation didn't remove all of the worry from Erin's eyes. Maybe she hadn't covered up that gasp. "I didn't think the the questions would be easy, and I'm not trying to stop you from asking them." She reached to stroke the face of the woman Gina had no doubt that she loved. "I can't keep living like I'm dead, Erin."

Admonished, Erin bowed her head before meeting Gina's eyes and reached for Gina's tank. Her fingers ran across scars as she worked the shirt free. Her face flushed and she looked away.

"Erin?" Gina choked out as panic rushed back.

"No...no!" Erin cupped Gina's face. "You are so beautiful, and those scars...I didn't want you to see how angry it makes me." Erin resumed her caress of the damaged flesh, whispering. "So beautiful."

Gina relaxed. She thrust her hips so her pants could be removed, then moved to make room for Erin in the bunk.

Both resumed their former positions bookending the bunk, Erin's gaze fell on the still open filled her eyes. It was Gina's turn to sooth scars left by war.

**""""""**

Erin had felt a new level of horror as her fingers found Gina's scars. How could anyone touch her and think machine. Her perceptions took her to a logical conclusion. Cylons were terrible and frightening, but no more so than humans. She doubted if anything, from the attempt at genocide to the horrors of New Caprica, would have been different had their situations been reversed by humanity making the first strike. She'd heard far too much gloating over acts that had always been considered atrocities in colonial society.

She looked at the faces of her family and hoped they understood. Everyone, Cylon and human, were so wrong. She wasn't even sure Gina understood. She was more than aware of the reverse of power that had just been played out. She refused anything more before giving herself to Gina. She just hoped Gina managed to stay with her, mind and body. "I don't want to do anything to cause you more pain, Gina."

"You won't." Gina kissed away her tears.

It didn't take long for everyone and everything else to leave her mind, Erin automatically drew drew the curtain as Gina claimed her. Enclosed in their own world, human and cylon defied their universe and all of it's Gods.


	21. Part Six: Chapter 21 & Epilogue

**Well here is the end of book one- after the first two paragraphs, those who squirm when reading sex scenes are safe. Sorry about not switching that rating to M right away. Posting the last chapter seemed to be a comedy of errors (probably because I was still squirming after making the sex more explicit) hope the last two chapters are all fixed now. I'd like to thank Nedy Rahn and airam4u for giving me a heads up to problems, with the last chapter in particular. Since no one else has chimed in since the last upload I assume they're fine now. (I really can't read through a chapter again once I post them here, my brain shuts down if I try.) I hope you enjoy the end of the fic. **

**I do have a question for you all. Given picking Erin Mathias as a character is not a possibility. Should I only pick Six as a character, keep Athena as a second character based on her importance to the story (she's back in Book 2: Breach of Promise) or just change the second character periodically, in hopes of luring some readers to check the fic out? If I do the last, which characters should I include in the rotation? (Athena, Adama, Roslin, Cottle are the characters that come to mind to rotate.) Or is there another option I'm not thinking of? **

**I sincerely hope someone leaves a post Ooops review. Right now the last review is an 'your upload was wacked.' Yes I could delete, but I like having reviews too yeah, I still want a heads up for mistakes. Though this time preview is actually working.  
**

**Book 2 should be up soon. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 21**

Their bodies melded as they kissed languorously. Gina set the pace and Erin followed, offering every inch of her body for Gina to chart through taste and touch. Both cried out as long fingers entered to complete the map within. Gina explored meticulously and Erin screamed as promised.

Mobility regained, Erin's hands, lips and limbs did as bidden. Eager requests became ragged demands. Gina's oans became a sharp shocked cry of pleasure. Emboldened by success, Gina celebrated fiercely. Erin could do little more than grip the sheets as Gina devoured her.

Erin mumbled. "I don't think I can move. I'm deathly afraid of what you'll be able to do with two arms. Are you okay?" she asked tapping on Gina's cast.

Gina handed Erin the water bottle and answered as she nibbled her shoulder. "The re-enforced arm is fine. I am so much better than fine. And I don't want you to move." After Erin drained the bottle, Gina pushed her down and burrowed into her with a sigh.

Erin felt tears Gina hadn't wiped away, and stroked Gina's back wondering if she realized she'd shed them.

In a voice far stronger than Erin could manage, Gina asked. "You had more questions. Do we have time?"

"Did anyone pound on the door?"

Gina grinned and waved her injured arm. "I think the only pounding was my cast, next time we're definitely doing this in my cell. I don't care who watches." Feeling like she was riding on the crest of a wave. She took one last taste of her lover and dove in. "Erin, tell me what you want to know."

Erin took a deep breath and looked at the open door of her locker. "I want to know why they died, what you were thinking."

"I can throw in the history of Kobol." Gina offered.

"I think I can settle for the most disturbing parts of your past." Erin kissed her head.

Gina sighed. "I have to explain what it was like before the attacks. I'm not sure it'll make sense, some of it doesn't make sense to me."

Erin brushed her finger along Gina's cheek. "I understand being ordered to kill and thinking it's right. Why did you think so many of us had to die?"

Gina struggled in silence for a few moments, then her explanation came out slow, but steady. "We believe in the One True God, well except for Ones - I don't think they believe in anything but themselves." Gina moved to hold her head up with her arm. "God had commanded us to procreate. As long as we weren't able to, we weren't fulfilling God's plan. We couldn't do it. You could. We went across the Armistice Line to study you. We came to the conclusion that humanity was doomed to lives of unending violence, greed and depravity as evidenced by your lack of belief in the One True God."

Gina's eyes unfocused as she looked further inward. "We saw how you start life only knowing how to feel and have to learn how to think. We thought that's why you can't control yourselves. From the first moment of our existence we're able to process and solve complex problems, then we learn to feel and react. We thought that made us inviolate, free from the vices born of emotional needs that plague human society. We see ourselves as more evolved: stronger, more resilient, ageless - and we don't kill each other."

Gina's eyes narrowed. "It's strange, I have no idea what Ones believe in, but they argued humanity was obsolete and should be destroyed; that it was logical. He'd hate me for saying this, but his passion was even more compelling than his logic."

Gina paused as a score of emotions flashed across her face. "Our creators left us with improved Centurions, Raiders and baseships, they're part of us. War seemed mandated, who else were we supposed to fight?"

Erin held Gina's shoulders until their eyes met. "Whoa, what do you mean your creators left you? Who created you?"

Gina's breath caught as an instinctive horror of speaking what was forbidden filled her. She now understood the phrase 'putting the nail in the coffin'. This would be the point of no return - even if Cylons and humans made peace, Gina would not receive amnesty from her people. Gina plopped down on her back and stared at the rack above them.

Erin turned to mirror Gina's former position, her eyes full of worry. "Six, I'm sorry, just tell me what you're comfortable with."

Gina looked at her, then burst out laughing.

Erin turned beet red. "If you give me a minute I can think of something even more daft to say."

"No, that was enough, I need to be able to breathe." Gina had broken every other commandment, or at least made a serious attempt to. Gina searched her memory. That wasn't God's commandment. Nothing in scripture, just a rule of assumed origin they were forbidden to question. "They are known as the Alphas. There is a line unique to cylon scriptures, 'Parents must die for their child to grow.' Cylons don't die, we assumed the Alphas left to allow us to grow to our full potential rather than be undermined by their desires and expectations. When we realize our potential in accordance with God's will, they will return to us."

Horror tinged disbelief broke through Erin's nonjudgmental mask. "Who, what are they? Where did they go?"

"Asking those questions is forbidden. Everything I'm telling you is. Cavil says the rules were made to keep our society thriving, moving forward. Humans with their mortality and imperfect memories argue and obsess over their pasts. We accept data and focus our analysis on the future." Gina fell silent after practically spiting out the last sentence.

Erin prompted her to continue. "You don't sound like you agree."

"I'm not sure what to think. Our society wasn't thriving, it was stagnant. We desperately wanted more and wanted everything to stay the same. It didn't work that way." Gina tilted her head. Nagging thoughts and images from dreams began to coalesce. "Everything alive changes. Sixes know that. Cavil kept saying we're machines, mechanized copies, uncha...Oh God...We were never broken."

Gina looked like she was going into shock. Erin grabbed the blanket and covered her. "Gina, Six. Look at me." Erin began to move trying to maintain physical contact. She ripped open the curtain. "Six, Stay with me..." She darted to the locker and grabbed the bottle.

"Erin?"

"I'm right here. I've got you. You're safe, honey. I promise." Erin got behind Gina, making herself into a cradle to gently rock her lover. "Take a sip. Not too much."

Gina sputtered. The liquid burning it's way down her throat distracted her from the shock freezing up her brain. "How do you drink that?"

"Gina, it's been in there almost three years."

"Your father," Gina coughed. "You never told me he was crazy."

Laughter erupted from Erin's belly. "Bad taste is not insanity."

Gina joined in though she couldn't have explained what was so funny. Snorts and giggles drove them until they lay weakened and gasping for air yet again. Once the laughter stopped they wrapped back around each other.

"I take it you're done talking for today," Erin said.

Gina pulled back. "No, no I have to figure this out. It's what I said before, we thought we were incorruptible, but as we kept crossing over we found out we weren't. The first of us to come back from the colonies created strife, especially the Eights. They began asking forbidden questions. Only the Ones were completely resistant. The Threes barely changed either. Ones began to prepare anyone who would go to the colonies to compensate for what were considered weaknesses in our programming. Since the Threes had reacted mostly by increasing their devotion to interpreting the social rules through scripture, the Ones proposed that they guide and evaluate the reintegration of those who returned. They became the arbiters of who needed to be boxed. We were so afraid of being corrupted no one could see they weren't broken. We thought wanted to feel alive, to grow, but whenever some one did, they were boxed."

Gina stopped to take a breath. Erin whispered hesitantly, as if unsure of the wisdom of interrupting. "Gina, What's being boxed?"

"Being downloaded into a body that's rendered inert; all your memory files are locked in cold storage."

Erin paled.

"It's not necessarily permanent," Gina added quickly.

Mouth agape Erin asked, "How do they react when you let them out?"

Gina's voice cracked when she answered. "No one's been unboxed."

Erin shifted, breathed in through her nose and let it out slowly. She'd rather be shot in the head. The thought of how cylons would handle teenagers made her shudder. "If spending time with us made you feel you had to do that to your own people, why didn't you just stay away?"

Gina seemed to have developed a fascination with the end of her cast. "We were drawn to the colonies. They were the home we'd been driven from by slavery. And we couldn't have children without humans."

Now Erin was even more confused. "Then why did you completely irradiate the colonies, didn't you know radiation makes us infertile, why attack at all?"

Gina shut her eyes and spoke almost without inflection. "We tried procreating with human prisoners; it didn't work. Fours needed a larger sample of humans to study. We knew if we tried taking humans on that scale you'd notice. We began to talk about and prepare for invasion, but most of the models couldn't come to consensus. Some went looking away from the colonies for a planet of our own. We found Kobol. It was beautiful, but the prophesies about blood being shed were true. A One was the only survivor of the first landing party. The others didn't download. The world which gave birth to humanity was cursed. Then you crossed the armistice line. It seemed like an inevitable prelude to war. We focused on striking the colonies before you attacked us or destroyed them as you did Kobol. But our projections for success were much lower...I don't understand how we got the numbers so wrong."

"Are you saying you didn't plan genocide?" Erin tried to keep the disbelief from her voice.

"I'm not sure. I hadn't been in the data stream for years. I know we had to target the military. We debated government targets but most thought it was safest to destroy them." Gina groaned ferally. "We blamed you for making Cylons unstable, so killing anyone we didn't need made sense. All we cared about was a path to procreation and reclaiming the colonies. It was this complex equation we all worked together to solve, but we didn't understand the variables. It never occurred to us we could be ignorant of anything of consequence. We were certain would never make the same mistakes humans did."

Erin looked at Gina curiously. "You sound like a bunch of teenagers."

Gina stiffened. "We can download data files and share memories, it adds years of experience."

Erin's hand went to her clenched gut. "Gina? How old are you?" Such a simple question, but one she had never thought to ask.

Gina looked at Erin defiantly, "My line...," then looked down in defeat. "I'm twelve. The oldest Six is twenty-one."

**"""""""**

Erin had wanted to know, had thought she was prepared for what she would hear. It was impossible to tell a Cylon's age. Gina had a mature body, a brilliant mind and was capable of performing every adult task. Images flashed through her mind; almost adult children from Sagittaron and Gemenon with pre-teen naivete after living sheltered lives; and those who'd seen too much, who lied and manipulated as easily as others breathed. Was human civilization destroyed by a bunch of confused and angry abandoned teenagers?

As silence feel between them Erin wanted to tell Gina she'd heard enough. But assumptions she didn't realize she had were being destroyed with every sentence. She didn't want to make the mistake of assuming again. She worked to reconcile Gina's numerical age with the woman in her arms. She could almost hear her wife as she struggled to relate. She finally grabbed hold of a concept that worked- a thirty year old with no memory of her childhood, just skills and knowledge without context. Gina's grip on her arm had slowly tightened as Marina's voice filling her head. Despite fear of ending up with a matching broken bone, Erin ignored it. She didn't want to interrupt as Gina wrestled with her own memories. While she had been wrestling with Gina's age, Gina had been trying to reconcile everything.

"I felt so blessed that my line had been created to infiltrate. All Sixes wanted to go. We're fascinated by everything that lives and grows. Every shared memory and file download was carefully chosen." Gina's tone was bitter. "Nothing that would pollute my superior machine strengths. Nothing from anyone who questioned anything."

She hadn't talked to Erin about life with Helena before the the attacks. Self protective or maybe just self deceptive, she had never wanted to attempt to explain why she had followed through with her mission. Yet now that she had started talking, she couldn't stop. Each word was a reclamation of self. "I was designated to collect and transmit data from Integral Systems, then assigned to infiltrate the _Pegasus_. I met Helena. She was brilliant, beautiful and so complex: needy yet independent, passionate, but controlled, impulsive and disciplined; she seemed like a perfect warrior. And I swear she was as smarter than the Ones."

Gina's voice held all the emotion her perfect memory retained. "It was a stupid risk trying to seduce her, she was so guarded, and she hated civilians mucking with her ship. I was so focused on seducing her without appearing to be trying, that I didn't realize she was just biding her time before bedding me where and when she wanted." To Erin's shock, Gina blushed.

"Just being in the same room with her was thrilling. It was so overwhelming." A note of pain underpinned her expression of wonder. "But whenever I wasn't with her, I just felt unstable, broken. I kept telling myself to stay focused - not let myself be corrupted. I knew it was love, but it hurt. And the attack made everything worse instead of better."

Gina paused as all the confusion and doubt she had felt played across her face. "I was so proud of how well I blended in. Then Helena gave a speech over the comm after the attack. Everyones emotions became overwhelming and alien. I felt like someone could just look at me and tell I didn't belong." She shuddered. "And all Helena wanted to do was kill cylons. She wouldn't run. I couldn't control her, myself or anything else. I kept thinking she was ruining everything- not the attack, not me being there to sabotage her ship- just her wanting to fight after we destroyed everything." A keen escaped from Gina's throat. A familiar sound, but this time it was for what she had done, rather than what had been done to her.

**"""""""**

Erin had wrapped Gina in the quilt and held her fast, but she couldn't stop shaking. As the words she had been living in fear of Erin ever hearing came out, her memories kept playing: Helena's face as she ordered Gina's arrest, the instant contempt as she was relegated to a 'thing', Helena glaring through the glass. Gina spun out of Erin's arms to stare into her eyes. Fear met fear, but underneath was an aching tenderness and sorrow that matched her own. Gina grabbed Erin's hand and put it to her own cheek. Erin was still there, still wiping tears from her face. The memories stopped.

This was not what she envisioned happening after making love to Erin. But it bonded them closer than sex ever could. Once the flood pouring from her eyes would have made Gina panic. Sixes didn't cry. Now she suspected crying proved she was alive. Raw and exposed Gina curled her body inward even as she wrapped herself around Erin. "Do you still want me now that you know I'm an idiot as well as a spiteful bitch?"

Erin managed to pull her even closer. "I want you. I feel honored that you trust me. And yes, I am still falling in love with you." She pulled a handkerchief from an unseen location and another water bottle appeared. "I hope I can make you happy, Gina."

Gina drew back and smiled. "Erin, you already do."

**Epilogue & Prologue**

Extraction of the algae proceeded without disruption, but not without difficulty. Impatience led to accusations ranging from incompetence to graft. Many rumors fed discontent and the fleet relished each one: abandoned ships, Cylons, a falling out between Adama and Roslin, arrests, assaults, each story became more colorful as it circulated. People's stomachs being filled by that which revolted their senses did not improve the situation. Instead of sating the population, the algae only sustained their dissatisfaction.

Rogers hadn't made it back to _Colonial One_ before it departed. He'd been busy getting shots of the Six. She wasn't in a flight suit, but she wasn't cuffed like the pilot. And she definitely got on better with the marine escorting her. He didn't get caught. Thankfully the marine following them was as distracted by their obvious affection as he was. Yet he was still rattled and not completely sure why. He was relieved he got stranded on the _Galactica_. Presidential security surrounded by military security wasn't the environment he wanted for viewing the footage.

He headed for _Cloud Nine_. Only the cabins being insulated well enough to remain habitable kept many away, while the efforts to lower the radiation levels under the dome made transportation accessible. Safe in the knowledge that no one would bother him, he looked forward to reviewing the tapes. McManus could track him down for a change.

Logging the shots brought him clarity regarding his jitters. His journalistic instincts may have compelled him to shoot the footage, but common sense was squelching the euphoria he expected to feel. Given the climate of unrest, he was sitting on a bomb that could blow the fleet apart.

THE END of Book One

Look for Book Two "Breach of Promise" coming soon.


End file.
